14 Year Old Son on Facebook...
- Thread starter kjacque
- Start date
you shouldn't?? Facebook quiz results have an accuracy reading somewhere between 0 and non existent.
a quiz on Facebook does not mean your son is gay. and if you do bring it up you will likely
A) offend him
B) embarrass him
and it will probably result in you being deleted from the friends list.
a quiz on Facebook does not mean your son is gay. and if you do bring it up you will likely
A) offend him
B) embarrass him
and it will probably result in you being deleted from the friends list.
Add another vote for "don't bring it up at all."
If he IS gay, there is nothing you can do about it, and he'll approach you when he feels comfortable doing so.
If he's not, approaching him could score you huge negative parenting points, on top of making him feel like you're monitoring every move he makes on FB.
More than likely, it's just a stupid Facebook quiz.
Don't sweat it.
~s
If he IS gay, there is nothing you can do about it, and he'll approach you when he feels comfortable doing so.
If he's not, approaching him could score you huge negative parenting points, on top of making him feel like you're monitoring every move he makes on FB.
More than likely, it's just a stupid Facebook quiz.
Don't sweat it.
~s
Most of the time kids are the ones who create those quizzes. The same kids that make up the quizzes "how compatible are you with Justin Bieber".
Who cares if he's gay? That doesn't change who he is, at least not the part that matters.
I don't see a reason in the world why you would need to bring it up at all.
Who cares if he's gay? That doesn't change who he is, at least not the part that matters.
I don't see a reason in the world why you would need to bring it up at all.
I wouldn't mention it.
Besides, was the test measuring gay as in homosexuality? or gay as in lame?
(gotta remember there are multiple meanings, but that doesn't excuse usuing the word)
IF he is homosexual, or had such tendencies, you'd probably be picking up on those by now, and SO WHAT?
Besides, was the test measuring gay as in homosexuality? or gay as in lame?
(gotta remember there are multiple meanings, but that doesn't excuse usuing the word)
IF he is homosexual, or had such tendencies, you'd probably be picking up on those by now, and SO WHAT?
Its just a stupid facebook quiz. Try not to take facebook so seriously. Chances are, he was just being a goof ball by taking it in the first place, just to be funny. And if he was somehow serious (which would blow my mind) then you'll find out eventually and it really wont matter because you can't change who he is. I'm sure it was almost definitely a joke though. I have brothers, and could see them doing it. And like Fo7 said, kids create those quizzes. They're not like, put up on the web by psychiatrists who specialize in homosexuality or something lol.
He would just be mad and annoyed with you if you picked on him about it.
He would just be mad and annoyed with you if you picked on him about it.
I'm friends with both my teens on Facebook as well, and I don't think a gay quiz isn't worth mentioning yet. If he is gay he'll mention it to you if and when he's ready. There are a LOT of truly stupid quizzes on Facebook and sometimes it's just something for them to fill out when they are bored. IMHO
I am friends with my own children (Older ones) on FB. I let them have a FB when they reach 13. They don`t seem to have a problem with it.
I wouldn't say a word. I think it's just a stupid teen thing.
I remember when I was in HS, the thing was "dead baby" jokes....how horrible, insensitve, crass (and a thousand other adjectives) is that? I'm pretty sure my mom heard them, and never said a word...(in retrospect I kind of wished she'd have said "Come on guys, really?" but to her credit she let us find our own ways. Teens do silly and stupid things. I'd say this would rank pretty low on my concern meter.
What exactly is your concern? Is it that he's being insensitive? That you think he might be gay? or are you just thrown for a loop by it?
I remember when I was in HS, the thing was "dead baby" jokes....how horrible, insensitve, crass (and a thousand other adjectives) is that? I'm pretty sure my mom heard them, and never said a word...(in retrospect I kind of wished she'd have said "Come on guys, really?" but to her credit she let us find our own ways. Teens do silly and stupid things. I'd say this would rank pretty low on my concern meter.
What exactly is your concern? Is it that he's being insensitive? That you think he might be gay? or are you just thrown for a loop by it?
As an involved, caring, loving, parent I don't get some of the "don't worry about it" comments. He's your son, you love him, you want the best for him. He may be wanting you to see it, and may want you to ask him, because he has had some thoughts or feelings he's trying to figure out but can't on his own. You are the parent, he's the child. Take your responsibility as a parent seriously and ask him in a loving, caring, non-threatening way, and find out what the quiz was really all about. Be sure to communicate your love and respect for him, whatever his answer is. It doesn't have to be wierd. "who cares if he's gay???" I do, if I'm the parent. I have to live with (or without) his decisions for the rest of my life. I care, a lot. I believe homosexuality is a choice. People say "They're born that way." I agree. I was born a killer. And a thief. And a liar. I choose to do or not do those actions every day. I've met several people I've wanted to kill. (when I was a heathen) Many times I wanted to steal something. I've told my share of lies in 43 years. Are some people more inclined to be homosexual? Absolutely. Are some people more prone to lie, or cheat, or kill? Absolutely. They were born that way. That's why we need Jesus Christ to fix our hearts, and minds, and souls, and wills.
PS Talk to a few of the many souls who have escaped the madness of homosexuality and listen to their stories. They'll blow you away. You talk about seeing the light. WOW. And then come back and see if you still say "there's nothing you can do", or "don't worry about it".
PS Talk to a few of the many souls who have escaped the madness of homosexuality and listen to their stories. They'll blow you away. You talk about seeing the light. WOW. And then come back and see if you still say "there's nothing you can do", or "don't worry about it".
Daddie, I don't know if this is what you are trying to say but you can't "cure" homosexuality.
And the only reason I said Don't worry about it is because it's a FACEBOOK quiz, and yes, there is pretty much nothing you can do about it if he's gay.
And I really wouldn't care if my son (or daughter) was gay. It is NOT a choice, it's just a part of who you are. I would accept my child no matter who they are or what sexual orientation they are.
Daddie, where I do respect your opinion, it is absolutely NOT okay to disrespect the lifestyles of other people (we have a couple of gay parents on this forum) and this is also not the place to be pushing religion. Statements like "That's why we need Jesus Christ to fix our hearts, and minds, and souls, and wills." might offend some people that do not follow the same beliefs as you. You wont find anyone else on this site stating their religious beliefs as simple fact to defend their opinion of the way you live your life. Please take all of these things into consideration before posting again, because a lot of what you said was very closed minded and inappropriate for this forum. This is a very diverse place, but we all have one thing in common that we are here to talk about - we care very much about our children.
That being said, I'm not entirely against bringing it up to him, but I really think that if she approaches her child with the "jesus hates gay people as much as murderers" attitude, that she'll be dropped from his friends list pretty quickly. Perfect start to a horrible line of communication right there.
I think the important thing here is to choose our battles. Also, its important to make sure our kids don't feel like they're being judged. I guess you could be judgemental with them, but that would just keep them from being honest and open with you. Instead of telling you how they feel, they would be much more likely to keep it to themselves. I'd like to think that I can raise my children not to be "perfect", but to be comfortable with being around me in their own skin without worrying about meeting up to my standards of religion or discipline. My mom was extremely strict and religious, and I resented her for it a lot. I could never open up and be myself around her, I could never be comfortable, and I always knew that she wouldn't understand me even if I was only kidding she would always blow things way out of proportion. I personally wont have my kids feeling that way, especially not over one of those stupid, kid-created facebook quizzes haha. I can't tell you how many times my brothers and male friends growing up joked around about being gay. Lighten up a bit. If he really had serious feelings about it, and he really had something serious to hide, I don't think he'd be expressing it with a dorky facebook quiz publicly on his profile for all the world (including his school friends) to see. ....It can be good to ponder upon the seriousness of the odd things our kids do before jumping the gun sometimes.
That being said, I'm not entirely against bringing it up to him, but I really think that if she approaches her child with the "jesus hates gay people as much as murderers" attitude, that she'll be dropped from his friends list pretty quickly.
Perfect start to a horrible line of communication right there.I think the important thing here is to choose our battles. Also, its important to make sure our kids don't feel like they're being judged. I guess you could be judgemental with them, but that would just keep them from being honest and open with you. Instead of telling you how they feel, they would be much more likely to keep it to themselves. I'd like to think that I can raise my children not to be "perfect", but to be comfortable with being around me in their own skin without worrying about meeting up to my standards of religion or discipline. My mom was extremely strict and religious, and I resented her for it a lot. I could never open up and be myself around her, I could never be comfortable, and I always knew that she wouldn't understand me even if I was only kidding she would always blow things way out of proportion. I personally wont have my kids feeling that way, especially not over one of those stupid, kid-created facebook quizzes haha. I can't tell you how many times my brothers and male friends growing up joked around about being gay. Lighten up a bit. If he really had serious feelings about it, and he really had something serious to hide, I don't think he'd be expressing it with a dorky facebook quiz publicly on his profile for all the world (including his school friends) to see.
....It can be good to ponder upon the seriousness of the odd things our kids do before jumping the gun sometimes.
It's probably a dumb FB quiz like others suggested....but it got me thinking, is there other reasons why you are giving it more weight?
And although I agree with you Xero, that making comments against a lifestyle or religion is disrespectful, I also think it tells us a lot about the poster which can be very helpful when weighing their comments in general. That way, when I'm reading their posts in the future I can remember that 'so and so is very religious or opposes X' and then I give their comments more or less weight based in accordance with my own beliefs.
And although I agree with you Xero, that making comments against a lifestyle or religion is disrespectful, I also think it tells us a lot about the poster which can be very helpful when weighing their comments in general. That way, when I'm reading their posts in the future I can remember that 'so and so is very religious or opposes X' and then I give their comments more or less weight based in accordance with my own beliefs.
I'm one of these terrible homosexuals on the forum.. how dare i?? i might as well be off murdering people I'm sure god would look more favourably on me than if i were to give in to homosexual tendencies and god forbid i lead a happy life. how silly of me. i should pretend to be interested in woman and be miserable for my whole life because it would be so much better than listening to my heart and loving my husband.
I'm actually not that offended. i guess I'm too used to bigots. just thought I'd put my 2 cents in anyway LOL
I'm actually not that offended. i guess I'm too used to bigots. just thought I'd put my 2 cents in anyway LOL
being loving caring and involved doesn't mean that you have to invesitgate and exert control on every parenting situation that comes your way. Nobody said, stop caring about the kid, I think the advice was that it wasn't necessary to make a big deal out of a silly poll.
Stjohnjulie - he can certainly have his own opinion, but the way he expressed it was inappropriate and will not be allowed here. I know that Dadu2004 (another member/moderator) is a religious guy, but I have never seen him posting anything negatively against gay people, or announcing to the forum that jesus needs to save them. Its fine if Daddie is religious and wants to express such, but he needs to find less abbrasive and offensive ways to get it accross.stjohnjulie said:
Xero, I get you. I guess what I was trying to say is that, on a personal level, I'm glad Daddie posted what he did, because it is so out of line with my own beliefs that I can take future comments with a grain of salt. Sometimes it's really hard to get to know people in a forum situation because you don't know what they really are thinking. Daddie just took all the guess work out of it for me Sorry if it sounded like I was condoning the disrespect....that is not what I intended.
And Jordy, thanks for posting. It's good to hear your perspective. My SIL is gay, and I was thinking that Daddies comments wouldn't have really offended her...she would have been appreciative in a way because she knew the score right from the get go.
Sorry if it sounded like I was condoning the disrespect....that is not what I intended. And Jordy, thanks for posting. It's good to hear your perspective. My SIL is gay, and I was thinking that Daddies comments wouldn't have really offended her...she would have been appreciative in a way because she knew the score right from the get go.
Yes, because the average 14-year old who is confused about his sexuality would ask for help by posting a stupid quiz on facebook for all the world and his dog (and the school bully) to see...Daddie said:
Seriously dude, some common sense might help here...
(For the record - to the OP, I also think he probably did it for a laugh - nothing to worry about.)