4YO constantly pointing/shooting toys AT people??!! (LONG)...

[autumleves]

I'm new here because my husband and I are at our wits' end. We have 2 boys and the one we're concerned about is the older, very strong-willed 4YO. Over the last couple of months, he has gotten increasingly aggressive with gun/weapon play.

Now, having 2 boys, we fully expect them to engage in pretend "weapon" play with toys/objects that are or are not originally intended to emulate weapons. However, what is really exasperating us is our son's insistence on pointing his makeshift "weapons" AT people (usually their FACE) despite us telling him time and time again that that kind of play is unacceptable and punishing him via "timeouts" whenever we catch him doing it. We know it would be unrealistic and counterproductive to *ban* weapons or weapon play...we just want him to understand that he CANNOT POINT WEAPONS OR SHOOT *AT* PEOPLE (any part of them, but particularly not their faces) and can't seem to find the proper way to get through to him on this.

It got so bad today that I had to drag him literally fighting and screaming (another forum topic for another day) from a birthday party. I caught him twice brandishing weapons and pointing them at people, pulled him aside both times and *reminded* him that the behavior was unacceptable and told him that if I caught him a 3rd time, we were leaving the party.

Ultimately, I overheard the father of the birthday boy scolding my son, "Stop shooting that rocket...it's an outdoor toy." The kicker is that the "rocket" is a toy my son had picked up early on in the party that I specifically told him not to play with because I had seen other children at the party get admonished for playing with it in the house. (Why it didn't just get put out of reach of the children, I don't know.) So then hearing that he not only was pointing something at someone a 3rd time (something I had told him not to play with at all, no less), but that he had actually SHOT it at someone, I made good on my *threat* and left the party. (Which was extremely disappointing and embarrassing for all of us.)

I'm just so afraid that he's unintentionally going to HURT someone because he doesn't understand the seriousness of pointing/shooting toys and projectiles at people (like his younger 2YO brother). What else can we do to get through to him?

 

[Sirk]

You could try not giving a 4 year old projectiles.

if he's not old enough to use them responsibly, he's not old enough.

 

[Dadu2004]

You're going to have to deal with it the same way you would deal with a problem with a different toy....if he can't handle it properly, then take it away.

 

[NinJaBob]

This might go deeper. Where is he learning this behavior? Does your child watch violent cartoons and or tv shows? Does he have friends that play like this? I would try getting him actively engaged in another type of play. Anything can be a gun even a stick so taking the toys away might be enough. You may have to change his programming choices and even the friends that he plays with.

-Phil

 

[mom2many]

Continue to do what you are doing, if you say don't and he does, remove it or him from the situation. My kids and boys do the same thing (we are a hunting family) but we have very clear rules of what is and isn't appropraite. I mean the simplest of things can be come a "weapon". So removing everything is most likely not probable. Keep at it he will learn it is just going to take a lot of repetativness.

 

[bigearl67]

I had the same problem with my son (6-yrs) and it was more aggressive behavior than a fascination with weapons. I am a Rifle smith and a booking agent for African Safaris and as such often have my children exposed to firearms. My boys have no interest whatsoever in real guns but will pick up a stick and use it as a sword or point their finger and say “bang-bang”. This is inappropriate so we made some changes that might work for you as well. When I need to take away a make believe weapon I will, in just a couple of words, state the legitimate purpose of the “weapon”. Something like: this is a recorder, you can use it to make some cool music, it’s not something you shoot”. If he “shoots” his rocket at his baby brother, I might take it away or I might spend some time with him explaining what I know about space travel (I did this two months ago, explaining, not space travel!) then show him how cool the rocket was to shoot strait up in the air. I would also recommend you trying to discuss a big brother type thing where you instill stewardship of the relationship with your two year old.
And most importantly, don’t go to your wits end!!! There is no end in parenting, only new beginnings. It’s not necessary to solve every problem 100%, just too make progress and it looks like you are getting some advice that will help.

 

[AmyBelle]

Id remove the toy weapon. If he cant use it properly then he dosent get to use it at all.

Also, where has he learned this behaviour? Try to find the source.

 

[efgh730]

wow power leveling 60-70 BurningWoW power levelingXI (FFXI), guild wars wow power leveling (Guildwars), City of heroes, EQ 2, lineage 2 wow power leveling, RF Online, DDO, and then we will add more.