I help my boyfriend raise his four year old son (no half siblings). He and his ex get along decently. They argue on occasion but for the most part it's pretty open dialogue. She has always been very good to me, and I like to think it's because I'm very involved and caring for her son.
Both couples live in different states. Their son Steven lives for a few months here, where his extended family lives also, and a few months with his mother. It's not the best situation, but my boyfriend and I are managing. We hope to move soon so that everyone can be together.
Steven loves to be with other people. He is almost five and does not attend preschool. He LOVES to be around people. He is very outgoing and always the leader of the pack.
Problem is, when his friends aren't around suddenly me and his daddy have to devote all of our attention to him. We tell him to go play in his room for an hour, but all he does is sit in the doorway watching us. He calls every five to ten minutes asking if he can come out or if we can do some task for him. Sometimes he just gives up and goes to sleep. I've never really seen him invent games for himself. I've tried to give him suggestions like imaginary friends and let him pick out his own toys in the hope that they will interest him. I was listening to him in the other room one day. At first I was pleased he was playing by himself, but then I had discovered that he was pretending that me and his daddy were listening to him.
I feel sorry for the little guy, but sometimes I need to study or clean or have time for myself. I can't entertain him at all times. And I don't think it's healthy that he's not developing solitary skills. We've talked to his mom, and she agrees he's a handful. She says that they have a rule where Steven has to play in his room for an hour every day.
Should I just not stress about it and let it come with time? I come from a family where my siblings and I were our own entertainment, so that's what I expect in some ways. I can't help but think that the separation between his parents makes him a little more sensitive to people's absence. What do you think? I've thought about a child psychologist before, but is it necessary? Does anyone have any suggestions on how to foster alone playtime? Does anyone want to let me borrow their kids for playmates??? (Just kidding!)
Both couples live in different states. Their son Steven lives for a few months here, where his extended family lives also, and a few months with his mother. It's not the best situation, but my boyfriend and I are managing. We hope to move soon so that everyone can be together.
Steven loves to be with other people. He is almost five and does not attend preschool. He LOVES to be around people. He is very outgoing and always the leader of the pack.
Problem is, when his friends aren't around suddenly me and his daddy have to devote all of our attention to him. We tell him to go play in his room for an hour, but all he does is sit in the doorway watching us. He calls every five to ten minutes asking if he can come out or if we can do some task for him. Sometimes he just gives up and goes to sleep. I've never really seen him invent games for himself. I've tried to give him suggestions like imaginary friends and let him pick out his own toys in the hope that they will interest him. I was listening to him in the other room one day. At first I was pleased he was playing by himself, but then I had discovered that he was pretending that me and his daddy were listening to him.
I feel sorry for the little guy, but sometimes I need to study or clean or have time for myself. I can't entertain him at all times. And I don't think it's healthy that he's not developing solitary skills. We've talked to his mom, and she agrees he's a handful. She says that they have a rule where Steven has to play in his room for an hour every day.
Should I just not stress about it and let it come with time? I come from a family where my siblings and I were our own entertainment, so that's what I expect in some ways. I can't help but think that the separation between his parents makes him a little more sensitive to people's absence. What do you think? I've thought about a child psychologist before, but is it necessary? Does anyone have any suggestions on how to foster alone playtime? Does anyone want to let me borrow their kids for playmates??? (Just kidding!)
