At what age?...

[Aimee McIntyre]

I have 2 questions that I am hoping you can answer for me.

Question 1) At what age should a child walk to School on their own?

Question 2) At what age should a child stop getting hugs and kisses and also stop getting their hand held?

Reason I ask is because my daughter Kate is 7 and wants me to walk with her to School and also insists on me holding her hand on way down, same goes for any other time we walk anywhere?

She also likes lots of hugs and kisses during the day which my husband doesn't like because he says she is "too old to be getting hugs and kisses", I always give her a hug and kiss when I leave her after dropping her off at School and Guides. In morning she gets plenty of kisses and at night, I always read her a story, tuck her into bed and then give her a hug and 2-3 kisses.

 

[mom2many]

I still give my adult children hugs and kisses. I didn't know anyone could be to old for that.

As for school that's a personal choice. Some kids could handle it at 7 others couldn't.

Hand holding, as long as she's comfortable with it and it doesn't bother you.

 

[Aimee McIntyre]

It certainly doesn't bother me, just curious as to when a child usually stops getting their hand held .

 

[cybele]

My 67yr old mother in law still gets hugs and kisses from her mother. So I'm going to go with never on that one.

Hand holding, when they are no longer comfortable with it, and also when they are aware of road rules (assuming this ties in with walking to school).

Walking to school is situational. Depending on the child themselves, distance, area you live in, and so on. For us, my kids cannot/could not walk to school due to distance. On average high school starts at age 12 here, and they take public transport to school, bht that's just what works for us and where we live.

 

[Aimee McIntyre]

She is aware of road rules and certainly is comfortable with me holding her hand and for walking to School, she doesn't have far to walk, its about a 2 minute walk, the area is very friendly.

 

[singledad]

At what age she can walk depends completely on your child and the distance/area she can walk through. I always wouldn't force a child to walk alone until she, herself, feels confident about it.

As for when they're too old for hugs and kisses - here's another vote for never. I'll probably end up being one of those annoying parents who insist on kissing their teenagers goodbye at the school gate

 

[Aimee McIntyre]

Her dad isn't happy that she wants me to hold her hand anytime we go out, again, he thinks she is too old for it, when she is with him, he refuses to hold her hand.

 

[TabascoNatalie]

It is really an individual thing. If she wants to hold hands and hugs/kisses, then fine. Mine don't like holding hands or too much physical contact, which is also fine.

 

[Aimee McIntyre]

Another one that she does quite a lot is, she sits on my knee whenever she is not in her room or is just bored, think she could just be a mummy's girl though.

 

[IADad]

Walking to school is a very personal thing - depends on how comfortable you are with the surroundings, and it's nerve wracking to make those steps to allow unsupervised action, but I think you need to encourage it when it feels right.

I still hold my 7 yo boys hand when the situation is right, either if it's a place where I need to know I have his attention/know he's with me, or at times to comfort and be close. I'll hold his hand sometimes just to mess around.

Both boys get hugs daily (but rarely within site of their school friends...I mean, they are boys... ;-) )

In my opinion this sounds like a little girl who needs to be encouraged to strike out on her own a bit more. The way I see it our jobs are not only to be sure they are safe and feel loved, but also to prepare them for the world. Most of us don't shove them right out of the nest, but it is a similar process.

 

[Aimee McIntyre]

Tbh, I have encouraged her to walk round to School with her friends but she won't, she wants me to walk her to School, I have also tried to get her to go to swingpark and meet her friends but again, she wants me to walk her there as well.

 

[Aimee McIntyre]

Final question for now is, how late should I let her stay up at night?

On a School night, I usually send her up to bed at about 9 but on weekends, I let her stay up as late as about 10-10.30. She usually falls asleep about 5mins after I have read her a story and given her a goodnight kiss and hug.

Also, should I stop her from sitting on my knee or is it normal for a 7yr old to sit on their parents lap?

Like the hugs/kisses and hand holding, I don't mind her sitting on my lap occasionally but do get a sore and stiff knee if she sits on it to long.

 

[cybele]

How much physical affection each family shows is different for each family, and each family member in each family.
For us, I came from a family with very little physical affection, quite a similar mindset to what your husband seems to have, the "She's too old for that" kind of thing. I married someone whose family have very little physical boundaries, regardless of your age. I think our family is kind of in between the two, but do lean more on the touchy side than most. That's just how we are, but that said, my 12yr old is not so 'huggy', and we respect that, because that's her personal space.

You guys need to work out what works for you.
If your knee gets sore, say "Okay I need my leg back now" and get her to hop off. If it's cuddles she is after she can sit next to you and have cuddles without hurting you.

I'm a big believer in no one ever gets too old for affection. Everyone goes through phases when they don't want it, or want less of it, puberty is good for that, but you don't ever grow out of wanting a hug, or wanting physical contact with someone you love.

 

[Aimee McIntyre]

She does come over for cuddles a bit but more often than not she just wants to sit on my knee instead of sitting on a chair, I have told her that my knee is getting sore but she won't move, she will only get off my knee on her own terms.

As I said, I don't mind her sitting on my knee, it is very rare that she will sit on it long enough to make it sore.

cybele, do you agree with me when I say she is a mummy's girl lol?

 

[akmom]

Hugs and kisses can persist into adulthood. That's normal. I'd continue as long as your child wants. I think teens tend to withdraw from parental affection, temporarily. But even adults, who have good relationships with their parents, often hug and kiss. It depends on how affectionate the family is. My family still does, but my husband doesn't remember ever getting hugs and kisses from his parents, because they just didn't do that. They expressed themselves without physical affection at all.

Seven years old is still pretty young in terms of walking to school and going to a playground. I still hold hands with my seven-year-old when we walk anywhere. It seems to be common too. If I had to guess, I'd say maybe 10 years old is when that *typically* stops, but I wouldn't be worried until about 14 or so.

 

[Aimee McIntyre]

I think the reason that she comes downstairs for cuddles and to sit on my lap is because she is bored, she sat on my lap for ages this evening as she watched Nadal v Nishikori with me, she only moved a couple of times to make us something to drink (she makes me and her dad tea, she is very helpful around the house), knee was sore by time she went back upstairs :-(.

I think she likes to hold my hand as it makes her feel safe when outside.

She does like to stay up until about 9-9.30 on a School night but not any later as it would be a nightmare to wake her up for School but my question is, is 9 to late for a School night?

 

[Brad84]

Yeah I'm 30, I still need hugs and kisses - except from my wife, I suppose, not really from my mum anymore...

 

[akmom]

My kids' official bedtime is 8, but they rarely end up there before 9. They wake up pretty easily if they get to bed by 10. (They are 7, 5 and 3 years old.)

 

[Aimee McIntyre]

She is getting bad for sitting on my knee and asking for cuddles a lot during the day.

Plus, she is quite bad for having nightmares at night, think the night she got attacked outside whilst on her bike is giving her the nightmares, in fact, I can't leave room until she is asleep, she is getting very clingy just now.

 

[akmom]

Seven year olds need a lot of attention.