Baby :(...

[Antoinette]

i don't really want to talk about it, I'm not quite ready but i lost the baby. i am sort of feeling lost i haven't even been returning Tim's calls. i know it is affecting him to but it was in me, it was alive and it was mine......

i don't really know what to say, it doesn't feel real. i feel like the worst mother in the world. i didn't want this baby. i said i didn't want it and now it is gone i feel like i made it gone because at the beginning i didn't want it. of course i have now gotten used to it and i want it more than anything and i cant have it. no matter how much i wish. i keep thinking its a dream and i am going to wake up and i am going to be pregnant again but It's not and I'm not

sorry, i just needed to tell someone, I'm not really letting anyone else in and i kind of feel like i have the anonymity here to share what i am really feeling without being judged

 

[Dadu2004]

I'm so sorry hun. You didn't bring this on yourself by thinking or saying anything...it just happens sometimes. So, try not to be hard on yourself because it's not yours or Tim's fault. And...talk to him. He's hurting too, and it will be good for you two to lean on eachother. Hang in there.

 

[Antoinette]

i can't stop thinking about what the baby would have grown up to achieve. it could have been anything and its life was ripped away from it before it even entered the world. before it even had a name.

it's just hard i guess

 

[IADad]

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's not your fault. Just as this pregnancy happened for a rrreason, this loss happened as well, and this experience will always be a part of your life. Don't beat yourself up over it, you did not cause this to happen.

Go forward, loving your children and cherishing every moment with them. This child will always have a place in your heart butit was just no meant to be at this time.

I know none of that makes it any better, I just hope that you know we're out here and we do care. And I know you're an athiest, but I hope you're not offended if I pray for you and your family.

Take care. We love you.

 

[Xero]

I am so sorry Antoinette. That's just awful. I couldn't imagine losing a baby that was growing inside of me, that I had already fallen in love with and pictured being in my arms in the near future. I can't imagine the pain you must be feeling. I have no words but I'm sorry. Definitely get ahold of Tim soon if you can, you guys need each other right now. I also agree with Dadu, there's no way in the world you brought this upon yourself and don't make yourself feel like you did. These things just happen sometimes, its nobody's fault.

 

[NancyM]

I'm very sorry for your loss Antoinette, I wish there was something I could say to ease your pain, but I don't think there is.

It certainly isn't anyone's fault. It just happens. Try to rest and talk to Tim. you both need each other.
So Sorry

 

[mom2many]

I'm sorry! I think everyone has nailed it on the head when they said it wasn't your fault. If wishing away a baby was all it took I wouldn't have 2 of mine...we all know how I felt about having baby #8.

Chin up hun....

 

[Antoinette]

i guess i just feel like i wasted a couple of weeks wishing i wasn't pregnant when i should have been embracing it, and now it is too late

 

[xox.ilu.xox]

awww antoinette I am so sorry! I couldnt imagine the pain you are feeling right now. I agree with everyone, you and tim need each other and it would be a good idea to call him. I hope you are ok, and we all love you and are thinking about you! xoxo

 

[Antoinette]

thank you for the support.

 

[MomoJA]

I am so sorry.

 

[Antoinette]

Thank you, it means a lot to me right now.

i hung out with tim this afternoon, he wasn't in a very good mood. I'm trying not to be mad at him because i don't want to end up taking my frustration out on him.. even if he is a good target right now

 

[sbattisti]

Sorry to hear this A.

Sending positive thoughts your way.

 

[superman]

so sorry about your loss.

 

[singledad]

I'm so sorry Antoinette! I wish there was something I could say that would make it all OK, but there isn't, so I'll just say don't try to "pull yourself together" too soon, allow yourself time to grieve. And don't be too hard on Tim - the baby wasn't inside him, but it was still his. He lost his baby too. Lean on him - he is the one person who is best equipped to help you get through this because he shares part of your grief.

And it is definitely NOT your fault AT ALL!

 

[Antoinette]

thank you singledad. i am trying to let him in but it is hard, i am used to being alone. i was 18 and alone with 2 babies so i have sort of gotten used to dealing with things alone and now it is hard to open up. especially about something so emotionally hard.

 

[stjohnjulie]

Sending you a big squeeze. I'm sorry for your loss. I'm with singledad, you need to allow yourself to grieve your loss. And Tim is grieving as well. I think it is pretty normal for the two of you to have some bumps right now because you are both hurting. Communication will help a lot...get it all out if you can.

And this doesn't make things any easier, but you didn't do anything to the baby by wishing you weren't pregnant for a few weeks. Sometimes nature just takes over. If things weren't coming together they way they should sometimes our bodies make the decision.

It's ok to be sad. It's ok to be mad. And it's ok to think about what could have been. You've been through every range of emotion possible since finding out you were pregnant and now not being pregnant. I'm sorry and I wish I could give you more support. A big hug for you. Hang in their honey.

 

[Antoinette]

thank you... the support is amazing. from mum i got "this is god's way of telling you that 20 is too young for 3 children" luckily "god's" opinion doesn't affect me too much but she just wasn't very helpful or sympathetic so i feel a lot better just coming on here without being judged.

 

[yeojungi]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Please don't blame yourself for what happened. Not all moms get excited when they first find out their pregnancy but they get used to the idea and feel more comfortable about it as time goes by. Having wished you were not pregnant has nothing to do with it.

Hang in there.

 

[Incogneato]

There are no words to fix the emotions you're feeling, but I would let Tim in and help you assuage your pain. There's nobody else better to understand your pain, since you both contributed to making that baby. There are some things that are out of your control in life, and this is one of them. I understand your frustration with yourself, as you feel you've squandered precious time, but let this be a learning experience and know to cherish all of the experiences that life gives you.