Bed time for 11yr old?...

[JessH09]

Around our house 8:30pm on weeknights is generally time for everyone to get baths and gear towards bed. Everyone is in bed a few minutes after 9 by the latest. Its just how we've always done things. On weekends we're way more lax about it especially for the older two.

But lately our 11yr old son has been begging (And whining) for a later bedtime. He keeps insisting he doesn't fall asleep until about 10 anyway and that since he's oldest he should be allowed to stay up later. Is it reasonable to let him stay up that extra hour? It does tend to take him an hour to fall asleep from the time he gets to bed anyway, but then I worry if we let him stay up longer, what if it just takes him until 11 or longer to fall asleep? And what about my 9yr old daughter who gets highly upset when her big brother gets something she doesn't get? Are we being too strict about the 9 o'clock bed time? Too lax?

 

[TabascoNatalie]

wow. 9pm is really early. i'd say he asks a normal thing. if you think that hour disturbs everyone -- let him read a book or do something very quietly.

 

[Jeremy+3]

I think 9 is too early, especially as during puberty our body clock changes to prevent us sleeping until a later time.

 

[meow_173]

my 3 year old goes to bed at 830. At 11, i would think 10 is reasonable.

 

[Trina]

My DD (11) heads upstairs and starts her bed time routine at 9:00 on school nights. By the time she's in bed and settled it's 9:30-9:45. We've tried letting her stay up later but then she's a bear to get up in the morning.

DS (13) starts his bed time routine at 9:30 and is in bed by 10. He would like to stay up later but we know he needs the sleep.

I've read articles stating that teens actually need more sleep because of the big changes going on in their bodies during puberty.

 

[Xero]

I don't think 9pm is too early for an 11 year old. My sisters and I didn't have a 10 o'clock bed time until we were like 14 or 15. But if you think about it, it has NOTHING to do with how early you put your kids to bed. It has EVERYTHING to do with how early they get up in the morning. If your kids aren't getting enough hours of sleep at night, or at least given the opportunity to, problems may arise. Even the slightest change in demeanor from being a little less rested can be a result. What I'm trying to say is that we got up at 6am every morning to get ready for school. Going to bed at ten o'clock only gave us exactly 8 hours to get comfortable, think for a bit, then fall asleep before getting up to get ready for school in the morning. Most people don't fall asleep directly when they lay down in bed anyway. And most of the time, we would come home from school and take naps anyway because we just didn't get enough sleep at night.

So what time does he get up in the morning? Because its not really about what times are revolved around him going to bed, but it has everything to do with how many hours he gets while he's there.

Here's a great link by webmd:

How Much Sleep Do Children Need?

I'll copy paste the category that your son falls into:

7-12 Years Old: 10 - 11 hours per day
At these ages, with social, school, and family activities, bedtimes gradually become later and later, with most 12-years-olds going to bed at about 9 p.m. There is still a wide range of bedtimes, from 7:30 to 10 p.m., as well as total sleep times, from 9 to 12 hours, although the average is only about 9 hours.

______________

As you can see, 9pm is not "too early" for an 11 year old. It seems like the minimum doctor reccomended here for a healthy sleep at this age is 10 hours, so as long as he doesn't get up in the morning before 8 or 9am, then 10pm at night for bedtime should be fine. If its any earlier than that then I would stick with 9pm. And like I said, that's the minimum going along with healthy sleep guidelines a doctor would lay out for you. Though it did of course mention that some kids sleep a total of 9 hours, so I guess everyone does things differently. Its not reccomended, but apparently it doesn't do much harm considering people do it.

Its really up to you, but figure out how many hours of sleep he'll get before deciding. Always remember that it takes everyone, kids and adults alike, a little time and preparation to fall asleep once in bed as well. You could always compromise and give him 9:30. Its not a huge difference, but I bet he'll take it happily. Its not favoritism either, so you don't have to worry about your daughter, because you can explain to her that when SHE gets to that age, then she'll get to do the same thing. But at her age, she just needs a little more sleep. Just like when he gets his drivers permit, she will have to wait a couple more years until she can do that as well.

Either way, you know what's best for your kids, and you can tell them that. Good luck.

 

[ElliottCarasDad]

I agree with Xero, it depends on when they get up as to when they should go to bed. My kids stay up late, but they also sleep really late.

I'm more interested in how you manage to give 4 kids baths in a half hour!

 

[Aunt]

Mine goes to bed or begins to "wind down" at 9.30 and may read or just relax in bed with her night light for 1 hr before lights out. perhaps as a compromise you can let him read in bed till 10 or do some other quiet activity like a puzzle for 1 hr. I gfigure as long as they are relaxing and quiet and in their beds then a little extra space at the endo f the day is reasonable. If yo try something like this and he is grumpy or excessively tired the next moreing on a regular basis go back to an early bedtime.

As to his younger brother this is a good opportunity to teach him the idea that older kids have more freedom that way he has something to look forward to. So i would stand firm there and figure he will get over it. this little rebellion on the 11 year old's part may even be because he feels the need to different from the little kids

 

[Jschneier]

My 11 year old gets in bed at 9 and goes to sleep by 10. She has an hour to read and listen to music before lights out.

 

[bssage]

I think everyone is on target with this one. What really matters is how they wake up and function thruout the day.

 

[JessicaMadison]

Trying to think back to Hunter and Bailey bedtimes. I believe that at 11 years old, they went to bed at 9:30. No later then 10.

Bailey wasn't aloud to stay up after 10 until she was like 15.

Alexis goes to bed at 8:00 but sometimes 8:30.