Hi , my name is Sonya. I have 3 siblings , a younger sister who's 28 , a younger brother who's 26 and a baby sister who is 13. My parents died 7 years ago and I took custody of my youngest sister. Over the years my other two siblings helped out but they just did the fun things while I did the actual parentinng. Recently , I got offered a job in Japan and I really want to take it as I'll never get offered anything like that aggaain. The problem is that I don't know if i should bring my sister wwith me. i've talked to her about it and she seems to be ok with the idea but my other sister and my brother are saying that it's not right that i take her so far away. My sister wants her to live with her and her husband. But after being a mom to her for so long the thought of loosing her breaks my heart and i do think that after raising her for so long i should get to take her wherever i want provided she's fine with it. I want to do what's best for everyone involved but i don't know what to do.
Been raising my younger sister for seven years , should i do this...
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Yes, if you've been raising her for the past 7 years, then you are her parental figure. Not your siblings, who are support figures. I agree that she needs to stay with you.
Of course you can move to Japan if this is what you really want. It's your life. I don't even think it comes down to your baby sister being "okay with it." Parents (and parental figures) move all the time, for all kinds of reasons, and children adjust. But I do think it's important to acknowledge her needs and concerns and help her cope with any move.
My children are very close to their aunts and uncles, and some of them have moved; it is just the way things work now. It's a global economy and you have to go where the opportunities are. Thanks to Skype, social networking and e-mail, I think it's a little easier to live apart than it was when we were kids. The only time I could see it maybe being better for her to move in with one of your siblings would be if she was close to graduating and wanted to finish high school in one place. But a 13-year-old should stay with the "parent" who has raised her...
Of course you can move to Japan if this is what you really want. It's your life. I don't even think it comes down to your baby sister being "okay with it." Parents (and parental figures) move all the time, for all kinds of reasons, and children adjust. But I do think it's important to acknowledge her needs and concerns and help her cope with any move.
My children are very close to their aunts and uncles, and some of them have moved; it is just the way things work now. It's a global economy and you have to go where the opportunities are. Thanks to Skype, social networking and e-mail, I think it's a little easier to live apart than it was when we were kids. The only time I could see it maybe being better for her to move in with one of your siblings would be if she was close to graduating and wanted to finish high school in one place. But a 13-year-old should stay with the "parent" who has raised her...
I agree completely with akmom on this one. Plus it would be a really amazing opportunity for your younger sister.
If she ends up really hating it, you could always send her home to your other sister or maybe school years with one sis and summers with you, but I would take her to begin with and then be flexible if it doesn't work out as hoped.
If she ends up really hating it, you could always send her home to your other sister or maybe school years with one sis and summers with you, but I would take her to begin with and then be flexible if it doesn't work out as hoped.
I agree that you should be able to take her with you. You are her parent and if I were in your position I would remind your siblings that you have taken custody, you are THE PARENT for your sister. Taking a vote on parenting matters only works with a husband/father, not in this case.
I'm not going to read what anyone else wrote but just go with my heart on this... so it may be a repeat. You've been taking care of her.. she doesn't mind going.. its a great chance for you.. and for her. She'll get to see a whole new world for a while. GO. You do whats best for you and your sister.
13 is a difficult age for her to be separated from her main carer. It would be a great opportunity for you both. Your other siblings are old enough to take care of themselves, it's not really about how they feel. If your little sister wants to go then go for it and good luck.
Just take her to japan with you....you are the parental figure that she understands.....your other siblings would obviously object since they were probably fond of her and would not want her so far away from themSonya83 said:
I think that she should go with you. You have been her mother for a while now and what an experience that would be for her.