I am the proud parent of boy/girl twins, but they couldn't be more different than night and day. My girl is very social and loves to be around people. When its the weekend, she always has a friend to come over, or a place to go, and loves to participate in group activities and functions. She's quite the chatterbox, and loves to talk. It seems like everyday she has made a new friend at school, and is always sure to be inclusive. My boy, on the other hand, enjoys to spend time quietly. He can be talkative, but usually keeps to himself, reads, draws and writes. He has a few good friends, but social gatherings, even with family, can make him quite uncomfortable. When it comes to functions where there will be a lot of children, I don't usually force him to go especially if he has a strong adversion to it.
Most recently, both children were invited to a birthday party. It seems like the boy whose birthday it was had invited the entire class (which was about 30 children). I imagine that not every child went to the party, so when my boy said that he didn't wish to go, I had no problem with this. My girl was very excited about the party and she went by herself, and my boy wrote a thank you for the invite and sent a gift along with his sister, which was completely his idea. I didn't see anything wrong with this, as I didn't want him to go to the party and be made uncomfortable, or to behave shyly and cause discomfort to anyone else there.
So here's where it started to get a bit messy. After school, the mother of the boy who had the party, came up to my boy specifcally and basically lectured him about how he should have gone to the party and stuff of that nature, and how it was weird that his sister went but he didn't. My boy didn't know what to say, but he apologized to her, in which her response was "That's not good enough." This upset my boy so much, that he went to the other child and apologized for not going. It turns out that this boy hadn't even noticed my boy wasn't there, and my boy was so embarrassed that he was in tears when he came home.
I feel like the mother was out of line, and I automatically wanted to go and speak with her about it. However, my boy saw how much this upset me, and he nearly begged me not to go and talk to the mother, as he was embarrassed enough as it was. I'm not sure if talking to her would be appropriate, but I still feel like she was unfair and hurtful to my child. Although my child really doesn't want me to, I still have half a mind to call her and try to discuss the situation. If her child hadn't even realized that one of his classmates was missing, then why is it such a big deal? Should I have made him go to the party?
Most recently, both children were invited to a birthday party. It seems like the boy whose birthday it was had invited the entire class (which was about 30 children). I imagine that not every child went to the party, so when my boy said that he didn't wish to go, I had no problem with this. My girl was very excited about the party and she went by herself, and my boy wrote a thank you for the invite and sent a gift along with his sister, which was completely his idea. I didn't see anything wrong with this, as I didn't want him to go to the party and be made uncomfortable, or to behave shyly and cause discomfort to anyone else there.
So here's where it started to get a bit messy. After school, the mother of the boy who had the party, came up to my boy specifcally and basically lectured him about how he should have gone to the party and stuff of that nature, and how it was weird that his sister went but he didn't. My boy didn't know what to say, but he apologized to her, in which her response was "That's not good enough." This upset my boy so much, that he went to the other child and apologized for not going. It turns out that this boy hadn't even noticed my boy wasn't there, and my boy was so embarrassed that he was in tears when he came home.
I feel like the mother was out of line, and I automatically wanted to go and speak with her about it. However, my boy saw how much this upset me, and he nearly begged me not to go and talk to the mother, as he was embarrassed enough as it was. I'm not sure if talking to her would be appropriate, but I still feel like she was unfair and hurtful to my child. Although my child really doesn't want me to, I still have half a mind to call her and try to discuss the situation. If her child hadn't even realized that one of his classmates was missing, then why is it such a big deal? Should I have made him go to the party?