Breakups...

[sbattisti]

OK, so, I'm a single dad, been single for about a year and a half. I've been seeing someone for about three months, and she just broke it off with me last night, rather out-of-the-blue (from my perspective, anyway).

Anyway, I'm not bitter. I'm one of those guys who always gets along with his ex-es for the most part.

But, it was a bit of a surprise, and I'm feeling kinda hurt and a bit sad, and depressed at the notion of polishing off the ol' match.com profile again. Just wanted to vent.

 

[IADad]

Just remember it could be worse...you could be married... LOL

Hope that brought a little smile.

 

[Cop2be]

So im not the only one with a match.com profile these days!

 

[sbattisti]

LOL, IADad, been there, done that, and I'm certainly still extremely happy I'm out of THAT situation! Thanks for the laugh.

Cop2be, yep, it appears so. Sadly, I'm probably a LITTLE too old for you, so we'll probably have to keep searching.

Actually, the funny thing is, online dating actually "works" very well for me in a sense. I work for a small company, and I'm not really a "bar" or "club" kinda guy, and I have two kids, so I have limited opportunities to meet people in my daily life. Meanwhile, I LOVE writing and am totally comfortable expressing myself in writing, plus I'm a computer geek and am constantly on e-mail and IM. So, the online stuff seems like a natural fit.

I'm just kinda loathing getting back out there again...

 

[NancyM]

ohhh I'm sorry about your break-up. I get emotional about that stuff. I don't think I'd be able to exist in today's world of dating.

I really hated it!

 

[Cop2be]

LOL, IADad, been there, done that, and I'm certainly still extremely happy I'm out of THAT situation! Thanks for the laugh.

Cop2be, yep, it appears so. Sadly, I'm probably a LITTLE too old for you, so we'll probably have to keep searching.

Actually, the funny thing is, online dating actually "works" very well for me in a sense. I work for a small company, and I'm not really a "bar" or "club" kinda guy, and I have two kids, so I have limited opportunities to meet people in my daily life. Meanwhile, I LOVE writing and am totally comfortable expressing myself in writing, plus I'm a computer geek and am constantly on e-mail and IM. So, the online stuff seems like a natural fit.

I'm just kinda loathing getting back out there again...

Lol. Probably. My issue is I go for older guys but there are none that I know in my area, but my max is 29/30, no more than 10 years older and I will be 21 in a few weeks.

 

[NinJaBob]

That stinks and I am truly sorry for you. It's a god thing though that if she had some hang ups that it ended early before you invest/waste too much time in the relationsip.

I hope you find someone that you are compatible with soon.

I found my wife while I was young and we are stil going strong. I do however understand how tough dating can be. In fact I dated a girl for 6 months and she is still stalking me 15 years later. Once you go NinJaBob you never go back I guess.

Anyway good luck and God bless!

 

[sbattisti]

It does kinda stink, lol.

Plus, she was texting me all last night, and stupidly, I was replying. What the heck?? Everyone urges me to make a clean break, but I just don't really do that well. I tend to remain friends with everyone I've ever dated. Save for my ex-wife.

I still don't quite get what exactly changed her mind about me. Everything was fantastic, and then just . . . not. In my heart I know what it was, but it's not really something I can change per se, so it's just for the best, I suppose. She DID say something about "NinJaBob," but I didn't quite catch it. Hmmm....

 

[letslook]

wow sorry dude, hope you find someone better

 

[Cazeur]

Sorry you hear about your new singledom. I can imagine it was a bit of a shock if you weren't expecting it. Will you ask her again why she ended it or do you think you'll just leave it?

My friend has just split from her partner and already is thinking about the dating scene again. I've noticed as we get older and especially if we have children, my friends are a little desperate to meet someone quickly. A bit of a sense of urgency as if there is a clock ticking. I remember when I was younger and alone I just wanted to have fun and the break up of a relationship was something to be celebrated for it's new beginning! How we change! Haha!

Anyway...good luck with <I>your</I> new beginning!

 

[sbattisti]

We did talk about it in general terms, but not TOO specific. This wasn't a "bad breakup," so I think in a sense she was trying not to get too specific so as not to hurt my feelings. *shrugs*

But the gist of it, from what I gather, is basically that she's a super-outgoing, impulsive, risk-taker, and I'm, uh, NOT. The depressing way of looking at it is that I'm flatly too boring and too much of a wet blanket for her. And I can see her point, too, although without quite so many pejoratives. I'm a thinking and a planner, and not likely to drop everything and fly to Peru for the weekend. I'm also not likely to go sky diving, or ride motorcycles without a helmet (if at all), etc. I'm not a big partier or dancer.

Listen, I embrace life, and I'm not a couch potato or anything. I love trying new things. But I'm just simply not a "live life on the edge" kinda guy, where I need to be constantly pushing the limits on everything, and I think that's what held her back from wanting to stay with me.

 

[IADad]

We did talk about it in general terms, but not TOO specific. This wasn't a "bad breakup," so I think in a sense she was trying not to get too specific so as not to hurt my feelings. *shrugs*

But the gist of it, from what I gather, is basically that she's a super-outgoing, impulsive, risk-taker, and I'm, uh, NOT. The depressing way of looking at it is that I'm flatly too boring and too much of a wet blanket for her. And I can see her point, too, although without quite so many pejoratives. I'm a thinking and a planner, and not likely to drop everything and fly to Peru for the weekend. I'm also not likely to go sky diving, or ride motorcycles without a helmet (if at all), etc. I'm not a big partier or dancer.

Listen, I embrace life, and I'm not a couch potato or anything. I love trying new things. But I'm just simply not a "live life on the edge" kinda guy, where I need to be constantly pushing the limits on everything, and I think that's what held her back from wanting to stay with me.

it seems like her ending this, if she couldn't deal with who you are, was the best thing. If she really didn't want to be commited to a person like you, then it's the best thing to move on and not kid herself or you. It doesn't make you deficient in any way, it's just different people. I'd warn about being in the friend zone too clisely with this one, though. I could see her impulisveness leading to late night pleas for help that then seems less needful in the light of day. You can remain cordial, and communicate with her, but, for example, if she texts you, you don't have to text back right away. jus sayin.

 

[sbattisti]

it seems like her ending this, if she couldn't deal with who you are, was the best thing. If she really didn't want to be commited to a person like you, then it's the best thing to move on and not kid herself or you. It doesn't make you deficient in any way, it's just different people. I'd warn about being in the friend zone too clisely with this one, though. I could see her impulisveness leading to late night pleas for help that then seems less needful in the light of day. You can remain cordial, and communicate with her, but, for example, if she texts you, you don't have to text back right away. jus sayin.

Yah, I completely agree with everything you said. And honestly, like I said, I'm not HEARTBROKEN, just a little sad, because it always sucks to get dumped.

Thanks!

 

[Cop2be]

Getting dumped sucks, getting turned down is even worse.

I am crazy when it comes to living life on the edge. I take certain risk, I don't want to die but I'd just about to do anything knowing I was safe. I fly by the seat of my pants. I am constantly thrill seeking with everything.

I don't know why I do it.

 

[sbattisti]

Getting dumped sucks, getting turned down is even worse.

Really?

I totally feel the opposite. When you get turned down, you really have nothing invested yet. Getting dumped means you lose everything you worked towards.

 

[NinJaBob]

Really?

I totally feel the opposite. When you get turned down, you really have nothing invested yet. Getting dumped means you lose everything you worked towards.

I don't know about that, I mean if you are married for 10 years it's like "I know I'm not perfect and honestly I can't believe it took her this long to figure it out, I mean really is she that ignorant. Why did I stay with someone so long that couldn't even tell that I am a jerkwad."

If you get turned down then it's like "I can tell by looking at you that you are and idiot and there is no way that I'll even let you buy me dinner because honestly sharing a meal with you is beyond comprehension" Although she did save me a lot of money on jewlery, flowers and greeting cards, she won't even let me blow $110.00 on ravioli and another $20.00 on that jerk who askes if you want to buy the lady a rose right in front of her. I mean a movie is like $10.00 each for a ticket and popcorn and soda is like another $20.00 each. If I was a girl I would go out with a new chump each time a new Stan Lee movie came out.

I don't mean to make light of the situation but I guess I just never got that bent out of shape when a relationship ended. I mean by the time it comes to that point historically I was ready and somewhat relieved when it was over. I have never experienced the end of a relationship where I didn't see it coming. I have been cheated on a few times and before I found out I knew that things werent right between us. When someone turns me down it hurts because it doesn't matter if I am the greatest guy in the world, because of the way I look absolutely nothing can make up for that and while I can do some things to fix that I am who I am. Change is not likely.

 

[octomom1990]

the minute my goyfriend found out i had this little douche in me he ran out the door