Hello everyone. I am new here.
My husband and I have been together for our first year of marriage. (Anniversary is this August 25th!!) We are deeply in love, and even though we have had our disagreements we always seem to keep it cool and running smoothly. I like to say that we have excellent, if not perfect, communication skills, but then I wouldn't be here today. You see, I am.. scared, I guess I could say, to bring up the topic of having a baby to my husband.
No, not scared that he will get angry, but afraid that he may not be ready just yet. He is a worrier. He is the type of man that stresses out easily, and if he has nothing to stress about, he will be worried as to why! Lol.
We have talked on several occasions about how we would raise our kids, etc. And actually, just last week he brought up the topic of what we would name our boy/girl when we have one. We sat up on the internet for hours that night looking up baby names and even wrote up a list for a Boy or a Girl. We chose favorites, discussed origins of the names and reasons, and what we liked best.
So, this really got me riled up. I have always wanted a baby- to bring life in to this world with the man I love. But, my husband always worries about money and time. Well, I have already done all the calculations and discussed with my older sister (Who has two amazing young boys under 4 years old) what it takes. There will be a lot of hand-me-downs because both sides of our family have had a lot of kids lately. One side even had twins- how exciting! So, that would be the crib and change table and stroller and car carrier, etc. If it is a boy, we will have LOADS of clothes that my sister (And many other relatives) have been saving for us (And some of those can be worn on girls too!) and everyone has saved toys for us. And with the money the government gives each month per child, even my sister said they barely noticed the money issue (I'm not the type to get carried away and impulse buy on whether or not I find someone 'cute'. I go more for what is practical at the time)
So, I guess what I am trying to get at.. is that I know I am ready.. but I am afraid to actually bring up the topic of making that baby in fear that hubby will think we should still wait. I know whenever we are asked on ths street "Having kids soon?" I always answer, " In a year or two" and I started saying that last year when we got married. I.. am just a shy person I guess and fear being turned down. I know he wouldn't be mean, but he may feel pressured in to saying yes, and I dont want that either. I dont know, I guess I just want him to say "Yes! I would be so happy!" but I have a feeling he is going to say something along the lines of "Oh, I dont know. Maybe next year? We have so much going on right now.." (But we dont- I am a stay at home wife and have been for a year- i would rather be a stay at home mom!).
From the talks we have had before, the thing I get from him is that he is afraid of how it will change our lifestyle. How it will change our relationship, and our time together. How do I reassure him that we have the perfect lifestyle for a little bundle of joy? (We rarely go out unless it is to bu groceries, and I am home 24/7.)
Any ideas? Sorry for rambling, I have just had this on my mind for so long and I dont know how to approach him or get the right vibe from him...
My husband and I have been together for our first year of marriage. (Anniversary is this August 25th!!) We are deeply in love, and even though we have had our disagreements we always seem to keep it cool and running smoothly. I like to say that we have excellent, if not perfect, communication skills, but then I wouldn't be here today. You see, I am.. scared, I guess I could say, to bring up the topic of having a baby to my husband.
No, not scared that he will get angry, but afraid that he may not be ready just yet. He is a worrier. He is the type of man that stresses out easily, and if he has nothing to stress about, he will be worried as to why! Lol.
We have talked on several occasions about how we would raise our kids, etc. And actually, just last week he brought up the topic of what we would name our boy/girl when we have one. We sat up on the internet for hours that night looking up baby names and even wrote up a list for a Boy or a Girl. We chose favorites, discussed origins of the names and reasons, and what we liked best.
So, this really got me riled up. I have always wanted a baby- to bring life in to this world with the man I love. But, my husband always worries about money and time. Well, I have already done all the calculations and discussed with my older sister (Who has two amazing young boys under 4 years old) what it takes. There will be a lot of hand-me-downs because both sides of our family have had a lot of kids lately. One side even had twins- how exciting! So, that would be the crib and change table and stroller and car carrier, etc. If it is a boy, we will have LOADS of clothes that my sister (And many other relatives) have been saving for us (And some of those can be worn on girls too!) and everyone has saved toys for us. And with the money the government gives each month per child, even my sister said they barely noticed the money issue (I'm not the type to get carried away and impulse buy on whether or not I find someone 'cute'. I go more for what is practical at the time)
So, I guess what I am trying to get at.. is that I know I am ready.. but I am afraid to actually bring up the topic of making that baby in fear that hubby will think we should still wait. I know whenever we are asked on ths street "Having kids soon?" I always answer, " In a year or two" and I started saying that last year when we got married. I.. am just a shy person I guess and fear being turned down. I know he wouldn't be mean, but he may feel pressured in to saying yes, and I dont want that either. I dont know, I guess I just want him to say "Yes! I would be so happy!" but I have a feeling he is going to say something along the lines of "Oh, I dont know. Maybe next year? We have so much going on right now.." (But we dont- I am a stay at home wife and have been for a year- i would rather be a stay at home mom!).
From the talks we have had before, the thing I get from him is that he is afraid of how it will change our lifestyle. How it will change our relationship, and our time together. How do I reassure him that we have the perfect lifestyle for a little bundle of joy? (We rarely go out unless it is to bu groceries, and I am home 24/7.)
Any ideas? Sorry for rambling, I have just had this on my mind for so long and I dont know how to approach him or get the right vibe from him...