Bringing toddler to a business meeting?...

[jerrys]

Ok, so I'm a guy. Got kids, love kids. We have a small team that is trying to put together a project. One of our team members is a gal that has brought her 1 1/2 year old to the past 3 meetings... and the kid, being a kid and all, was crying, talking, making noises during a large part of each meeting. Other than the "occasional" emergency, I've never, ever seen this.

Our last meeting we had to meet with a potential vendor and her child was making extremely distracting noises almost during the entire meeting. To the point of embarrassment.

So me being the "big jerk" that I am, told her that bringing a toddler to a strategy meeting, whereby the entire purpose is to talk, strategize, and be productive is essentially an exercise in futility, so I asked her to leave her child at home in the future. Everyone in the room is thinking this, but I'm the only one that had the kahonies to actually tell her. Of course that touched off a virtual fire storm with her. She stated that she has made a commitment to being with her child every single day, in business or wherever.

Would love to hear everyones opinion.

(do me a favor and try to separate your love of your child with the realities of being productive in a business meeting)

 

[Father_0f_7]

It's a tough one. Why was she bringing her child? Was it an emergency?

I remember when I was working there were a few times that I HAD to bring one or even two of the children. We had kind of a "laid back" work environment (suprisingly).

I think that if someone brings their child when they don't need to it could be okay if they don't do it everytime.
But I also haven't really had this problem in quite a while.

Depending on why she brought the child I may or may not have handled it differently. I probably would have asked her if she needed to bring her child, if she said no, I would have done what you did. If she said yes I don't really know how I would have handled it.

 

[Jeremy+3]

If someone has made a commitment to be with their child 24/7 then they shouldn't be working for someone else outside of their home

 

[Father_0f_7]

We don't know that she's made that commitment Jeremy.

 

[Jeremy+3]

We don't know that she's made that commitment Jeremy.

The OP said she has.

 

[NancyM]

I don't think you were a jerk jerrys, I probably would have said something as well.

I don't understand why she brought the child with her so many times. I know you said she wanted to spend as much time as possible with her child. Thats odd to me, and if that is the reason than I have to agree with Jeremy+3.

Of course during an emergency it would be ok ,and could happen to anyone, but I do understand how distracting it could be, and in certain situations, like meeting with a potential client it's downright annoying not to mention unprofessional.

I use to get annoyed when parents allowed their kids to run around a restaurant when I'm keeping my son in his seat, and we're all trying to enjoy a meal out. I didn't have the nerve to say anything, but it really made us uncomfortable and irritated.

So I think it was ok for you to say something, May I ask if she is in a higher position than the rest of you, or are you her boss? just wondering.

 

[Father_0f_7]

Sorry Jeremy, I guess I missed that on my first read.

 

[Xero]

If someone has made a commitment to be with their child 24/7 then they shouldn't be working for someone else outside of their home

Completely agree with this. If she made that commitment, well that's lovely, but that would be the definition of a stay at home mom, not a business woman, sorry. I think that is completely inappropriate for her to have brought a toddler to all of those business meetings. I would have been ticked if I was one of the other people working there. Props to you for being the guy to put yourself out there by pointing out the obvious. Really, what is she thinking? Someone had to say it. How inconsiderate.

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely think that in cases of emergency or dire need that I mean gosh you might have to bring your kid to work. But bringing your kid to work every day just because you want to is totally wrong. Its not even like she is doing the best thing for the child either, I mean what one year old could possibly enjoy being cooped up in an office full of people trying to work? That's no place for a kid to have fun or be happy, if she thinks her presence alone is all that matters for him to enjoy his day, then she is pretty full of herself.

Also, there are obviously jobs out there that you can take your kid to work with you everyday with no problem, where your kid likes it and doesn't bother a soul. I just don't think that office jobs the include business meetings are one of those jobs.

 

[jerrys]

She is a therapist that works with at risk teenagers as her regular job. We are working on a special project, of which almost none of us has very much time, so when we do get together, we need to make the time count and GET STUFF DONE.

She brought her 2 yr old to the first meeting whereby the kid was fairly good except for the occasional yelp and cry. And of course, everyone in the conference room couldn't help but spend a portion of the time goo-gooing. I figured, hey... one time deal. She didn't have any other options that day, so cool.

A few weeks later, the kid came with her again. Then the other day when meeting with a potential vendor, she brought the kid again. That's when I said something.

She stated... "I have made it a priority to spend time with my child, and all of my customers allow me to bring her during my appointments and so that is just the way its going to be."

I thought WOW, you are a therapist and you bring your kid along during private meetings with at risk youth???

Seems delusional to me... but hey what do I know?

 

[lovebeingamum]

Perhaps she felt your approach was confrontational? If that was her perception of things, I am not surprised that she reacted by blocking you off and being defensive.

 

[stjohnjulie]

I guess I am one of those people... I bring my son to work with me and plan on doing so until he goes to school. BUT, I own the place, and most of my work is solitary in nature. I have had to bring him to a few things that I would have rather not though. Like, when I opened a bank account. He was sleeping the whole time, but it would have been kind of unprofessional if he were to wake up in the middle of it all and I had to step away to feed him. But I guess I get a little more understanding since he is just an infant.

Did you know that she would be bringing her child all the time. I'm guessing no. In that case, I would say that this is something that should have been disclosed right from the start. I always make a point to let people know that I will be bringing my son so they aren't surprised. As he gets older, I will not be bringing him to business meetings Once he can eat solid food, I'd much rather leave him with someone else so I can focus, everyone else can focus, and he can be happy I don't know too many toddlers who like business meetings.

If she is bringing that child to therapy sessions with troubled teens, then OMG!!! That just seems very very wrong and irresponsible parenting without even mentioning how unprofessional and disrespectful it is to her clients.

I'm not surprised she got defensive with you. If you said something to her in front of everyone she probably felt attacked. I think you had a right to tell her how you feel, but maybe it should have been done in private. Hope you can work something out so it works for everyone.

 

[Dadu2004]

I think having a 1 1/2 year old in a business setting is inappropriate unless there was an emergency deeming it necessary. It's really bad when there's clients involved, because you're putting a bad foot forward.

I bring my child with me to work fairly regularly (probably once a month)...schools closed due to snow, or whatever. However, I have an office that I share with my boss and she's really well behaved (she's 6). I just sit her there and she watches movies all day. Most people dont even know she's there. The owner of the company has commented numerous times about how well behaved she is when she's here.

 

[superrod2010]

Completely inappropriate. she should be willing to recognize and accept that too. I love my kids and I have had to bring them to work before but I had a place to out them and they did not disrupt anything.

 

[rayray]

makes no sense. it is not good for the kid either.

 

[mrrobinson]

Ok, so I'm a guy. Got kids, love kids. We have a small team that is trying to put together a project. One of our team members is a gal that has brought her 1 1/2 year old to the past 3 meetings... and the kid, being a kid and all, was crying, talking, making noises during a large part of each meeting. Other than the "occasional" emergency, I've never, ever seen this.

Our last meeting we had to meet with a potential vendor and her child was making extremely distracting noises almost during the entire meeting. To the point of embarrassment.

So me being the "big jerk" that I am, told her that bringing a toddler to a strategy meeting, whereby the entire purpose is to talk, strategize, and be productive is essentially an exercise in futility, so I asked her to leave her child at home in the future. Everyone in the room is thinking this, but I'm the only one that had the kahonies to actually tell her. Of course that touched off a virtual fire storm with her. She stated that she has made a commitment to being with her child every single day, in business or wherever.

Would love to hear everyones opinion.

(do me a favor and try to separate your love of your child with the realities of being productive in a business meeting)

The woman is clearly an idiot. You should have called security and had the child escorted to the exit, and the mother as well, if not thrown out, physcially.

 

[kathywhite]

Making a committment to be with your child every day (all day?) is admirable. Wonderful. And I agree with other posters that that sort of committment would make me question why she then enters the workplace. It is unfortunate that traditionally in a homestead/farm traditional upbringing of only 100 years ago, children would have naturally been included in the work of the family. Nowadays the nature of our work makes it hard, if not impossible to include them in meaningful ways. It's not meaningful for the child to be in a room full of adults discussing projects/business concepts. I would really question what benefit it gives the child. All the child is learning is that Mummy is busy with something else that I don't understand, can't be a part of and she doesn't have so much time or attention for me. so I'd better cry and act up so she gives me the attention I want.