Changing schools...

[Rosa]

In September Charlotte starts a new school, she has been at her current one since she was four, we've had to move her as at the moment she attends a bilingual school. At the end of this academic year they partnered up with an English school, which not only means that she would be learning almost exclusively in English, she would also be in class with 28 pupils, until now she has been in classes of 14-17.
She isn't impressed, as far as she is concerned school is just about trying to misbehave without mam and dad finding out
Then there is also the issue of friends, but she does know a few people in the same class as her at her new school as two couples who live on our street have children that attend the new school.

How do we make this less of a battle? In the last few weeks she has attended her new school for 5 half days, she really enjoyed it, liked the teachers, the students and everything. We recently tried to buy her her new uniform, she had a paddy that I would expect from Flynn in the shop, so that didn't happen. Now she has started being nasty to her friends on the street who go to her new school, her excuse is if they aren't her friend anymore they can't go to the same school.

 

[TabascoNatalie]

did you talk to her teachers? maybe something going on with kids at school? or there's something scary about new school?

 

[Xero]

Wow that's a tough one. Its always difficult for kids to make big changes like that. There will probably be at least a bit of a fight to switch over for a little while, and she will probably be stressed out about adapting for some time as well once she has switched. Its not easy to cope with that kind of thing, but would you rather not bother with the trouble and leave her in the other school? Or is it more important to you for her to get the education you feel is best for her? She will make up with her friends... Girls that age are always bickering with their friends, and the next day they are best friends again.

Does her original school do the uniform thing, or did they have no dress code? I'm trying to understand why she cares about the uniform. Its NOT easy switching to uniform after attending a school that doesn't enforce something like that. I've been there. Its frustrating and makes you feel like you can't be yourself. But its not a huge deal. I'll bet she gets used to it.

Honestly, you'll probably just have to keep encouraging the new school and helping her cope with change until she gets used to it. There's not a whole lot you can do about the way she feels, its really pretty normal. Don't worry, she'll grow into her new school. Everything takes time.

 

[Rosa]

All schools in the UK have uniforms normally she gets excited about getting her uniform as it means getting new shoes which she is obsessed with, if she stays at the school she has always attended she wont be receiving one to one teaching, which all children used to get with a teacher and teaching assistants, plus she will be doing her school work in English, which is something she has never done before apart from one English lesson a week.
Where as at the new school each table of four has their own teaching assistant and all the learning is still in Welsh. If she were to do her schooling in English, it would set her back a lot academically as she can only write a few things in English.

 

[IADad]

she had a paddy that I would expect from Flynn in the shop, so that didn't happen.

I have no idea what this sentence means...I'm guessing maybe she threw a temper tantrum? Maybe?

anyway, it seems like something has happened, someon'e sbullying her, or something. I think I'd talk to the administration and teachers about it and see if they have any ideas maybe the parents in the neighborhood too (which could serve double duty, since she's now being nasty to their children, a chance for you to explain what's going on and see if you can garner some input.)

Also, just curious, we we talk about bi-lingual education here in the US it's usually English and Spanish. Which two languages is she learning in?

 

[Rosa]

Paddy does mean tantrum, I was going to say mardy but that is probably quite regional to us.

Her first language is Welsh, she does speak English okay, enough to understand cartoons and ask people simple questions and tell people how old she is, things like that.

 

[IADad]

ahhh, mardy wouldn't have clarified anything for me, but glad I got it from context.

Pardon my ignorance, but I didn't think Welsh was really an active language, I thouught it was more an archaic vestige and everybody spoke english. That was an interesting thing to learn today.

I have to get myself over there someday (when I can afford to stay long enough to tour around extensively, there's lots I want to see/do...

Your depiction of her language skills reminds me of when I was in Germany way back between high school and college (so long ago that it was still "West Germany....") anyway, We were at this road side place for lunch and these two little kids came skipping up to us and asked us something in german. I new virtually no german at the time and told them "Ich psreche kein Deutsch." They laughed. I think they found it hilarious that a grown person couldn't speak german, afteral, they were only kids and even they spoke german...

 

[Rosa]

It depends where you are in Wales, in south Wales (which has a different dialect of Welsh) not that many people speak Welsh as a first language or a second, however where we are (Aberystwyth, mid wales) and north virtually everyone speaks Welsh, not all as their first language though. My Grandparents never spoke English, there are quite a few people here who speak virtually no English, then there are some awkward people who just refuse to speak English. Virtually everyone speaks Welsh fluently where we live (apart from our student population) but in other areas only about 10% of the population speak Welsh
Me and my husband are both equal in our language skills, Charlotte gets confused between the two languages, from her English you would never know that she is around the language everyday, some people can learn two languages at the same time, I guess Charlie isn't like that, so it is taking her more time.

In Wales everything is in Welsh and English, road signs, menu's, advertisements, we have Welsh cartoons, soap opera's etc and people such as teachers must speak Welsh to be able to teach in Wales.
We try not to use Welsh as much as we would like in the house to improve Charlie's English, it is working slowly so we're pleased about that. Flynn translates for her sometimes as he has realised she doesn't understand some things, thats quite cute. I was a slow learner with English, so I can understand how frustrating it can be with her, I wasn't fluent until my early teens.

I'm with you on the German thing, if I tried to learn another language now it would take years and years, Charlie as she is still young makes the kind of progress in under a year that I would make in about 5 years.

 

[IADad]

one thing you may want to try. A friend did this with his kids...The wife only ever spoke to the kids in English and the dad only ever spoke to the kids in French. The advantage there (over switching back and fort) is there's a reason and some congruity...they knew if they were speaking to dad, this was the set of words they use, and there was no confusion on the parent's part of "should I be speaking english or French now...

It may be too late for that approach to work for Charlotte, but it may work for the other kids.

I spoke with that dad recently, now that the'yrre about 8 years into this experient and it worked well, she's pretty equally fluent in both languages, but now with the time she spends in school (english only) she's missing some french pratice time.....

 

[16th ave.]

i doubt this helps any---->but i've always heard that it is easier to teach a child a second language than it is to teach an adult a second language.
also, since english is a pretty widely used language your daughter just may be better off in the end when she does pick it up.
just keep working on her and encouraging her and praising her when she does make an achievement through the hard work she's putting into learning the language.
there are quite a few english language sites with fun games that might help some. i don't think it would hurt to try any of those along with whatever else you are doing.


one more thing,
iadad--i'd heard of that very thing. the "only using one language" sort of idea.

rosa, through out your daily routines work some of the words in like when dd wants to play such and such, subtly start getting her to say those things in the english language and such. do in a subtle way. don't just work on the english when its school work. work it into your daily routines. sorry if this rambles.
the other--being a no nonsense kind of mom, i'd just put my foot down and tell her to cool it and make the best of things. i'm not sure, but she could be contributing to some of the hard time that she's having---the fact that she aint happy with starting a new school could be coming out in how she reacts to the other kids which can and sometimes does cause the kids in the new school to "pick on her". she has to put in an effort even though she doesn't want to be there in order for her experience to be a good one.

i know from first hand experience how hard it is to be a new kid in school. sometimes you just gotta suck it up and make the best of things even when you don't want to. sometimes mom and dad just have to tell the kiddo that.
i'm sorry if this doesn't help any. it's not my intention to make you feel any worse about the situation than you already do.
i truelly hope things get better for your baby girl. good luck.

 

[Xero]

I kind of agree with putting your foot down. Sometimes as parents you just have to be the bad guy because only you know what's best for your kids. Whining and nasty attitudes are not acceptable, and there are better ways to cope with stress and change. Encourage her to talk about the way she feels, that might help a little.

 

[Rosa]

She has a contact day today, so we shall have to see where she is on the evil scale today.

 

[Xero]

hahaha good luck.

 

[Rosa]

I would say, she was a 4 on the evil scale, she didn't tell anyone they smelt of poo today!

 

[fallon]

I would say, she was a 4 on the evil scale, she didn't tell anyone they smelt of poo today!

lmao, that was nice of her

 

[IADad]

I would say, she was a 4 on the evil scale, she didn't tell anyone they smelt of poo today!

Well, in her defense, DID anyone smell of poo the other day? Perhaps it was honesty rather than evil? OMG, that last thing you need on top of a child who's acting evil is an evil acting child with an attorney!!!!

 

[Xero]

lol well it sounds as though it could have been worse!!

Fallon your avatar is down right precious. I love that picture.

 

[Rosa]

It was a teacher who definitely didn't smell of poo! Poo is her thing, she hasn't moved up in the insult bank yet probably a good thing actually. She has been overly mardy tonight, her face could turn milk sour.

 

[16th ave.]

now is poo your word or hers? jk

 

[Xero]

Hahaha better than some words I've heard from a nine year old's mouth.