<r>Hello everyone! I just have a few things to say about my daughter, Maggie. This is related to this other thread I made a while ago. It can be read here ( <URL url="http://www.parentingforums.org/showthread.php?t=12717"><s></s>http://www.parentingforums.org/showthread.php?t=12717<e></e></URL> ). I don’t know if I should have just posted there, but I feel that this is a different subject. I suppose this is sort of a conclusion to it all.<br/>
<br/>
First, I want to thank everyone who helped me build a relationship with Maggie. I cannot imagine how much I might have messed up without your help. I do not think I was successful, but I certainly didn’t fail totally. Thank you all so much.<br/>
<br/>
Second, I guess I’ll just tell you what happened. <br/>
<br/>
On Thursday of last week, I got a call from Maggie’s school. The woman on the phone told me that I had to pick up Maggie from the office because she was having an anxiety attack. I hurried over to pick her up, and I brought her home. She was shaking and crying and I tried my best to comfort her. She didn’t say much, I think it was partly because she was crying too much. She would not tell me what was wrong, but she didn’t run away, and she let me hug her and hold her. She eventually fell asleep on the couch, so I called my mother and asked her to schedule a therapist appointment for Maggie, because we were going to visit my mother over the weekend. <br/>
<br/>
The next day, I didn’t make Maggie go to school, and she lay in bed all day. I was so worried. I called my mother again, and we decided that when Maggie and I visited, Maggie would stay there. We went to the airport later that day, and we went to my mother’s house. It was happy for a little, but it was obvious that Maggie was still feeling sad, because she went to bed soon after we arrived.<br/>
<br/>
On Saturday, the three of us went to a therapist. Maggie talked alone with the therapist, and then my mother and I went in to discuss the problems with just the therapist, afterwards. The therapist told us that Maggie was suffering from severe depression, which can often come suddenly. She had apparently had been suffering from a more mild form of depression for a while now. He said that it was a result of too much stress and too many things that were probably bothering her constantly. <br/>
<br/>
He said that it was partly because of being put into a new school, and a new family. A lot of it was because she never had a real father figure, and she always felt abandoned by me. She had relationship issues, such as a constant fear of being disliked (or abandoned by her friends). He said that she felt very lonely and she was feeling stressed about college, too. However, the most shocking thing that he told us was that she was dealing with sexual harassment from her old boyfriend and two of his friends. They had apparently been doing it for a while, and that seemed to be the cause of her fighting and acting-out. They even went so far as to message her on facebook while she was living at my house. Maggie’s old boyfriend physically hurt her at times, and pressured her into sex, which is rape by law. In addition to that, it was also statutory rape. <br/>
<br/>
I still cannot believe this! I feel so angry towards the boys that would do this to her. Even though I am not fit to be called her mother, I still love her no matter what, and I’m so mad at these boys. I even feel extremely guilty myself, because I had called her a slut at one point when I was first meeting her. I cannot tell in words how sad and angry I am right now. I wish those boys could see how they’ve hurt her. Maggie changed so suddenly. She became so timid and scared, and she just stayed in bed for a majority of the weekend. It's almost sad that she lets me hug her and show affection, because she used to be so strong-willed against that. <br/>
<br/>
The therapist was very helpful, and he helped my mother and I communicate with Maggie’s old school. They have suspended the boys, and two of them have been removed from the football team. The school also contacted the police. Two of the boys may even be faced with criminal charges now, including rape. I know it’s wrong of me to say this, but I really need to: I hope that those boys live miserable lives, and I'd be happy if they go to jail and get beaten up.<br/>
<br/>
The therapist helped us plan with the school, too. Maggie is going to be able pass this semester’s classes without attending them, because they are almost over (since they do not have class during Christmas break). She is not going to get a grade, only credit for completing them. She is also being allowed to take online courses next semester, so that she won’t have to stay at school for the full day. Maggie will be able to graduate with full credit at the end of this year, but the therapist recommends that she take next year off and go to college a year later, so she can gather herself mentally. He also prescribed some medicine for Maggie, but Maggie refuses to take it, because she does not want to be dependent upon it. <br/>
<br/>
I went home Monday, and Maggie stayed with my mother. Before I left, Maggie said good bye, and I hugged her and told her that I loved her. She said “I know”. Later, on the plane ride home, I cried! I couldn’t help it, and it was so embarrassing! I just couldn’t stop thinking about Maggie. I felt like I was leaving her, all alone and sad. I couldn't stop worrying that she would be bed ridden for the rest of her life. She has so much potential, she's so smart. I hope she can overcome depression.<br/>
<br/>
Anyways, Maggie will be seeing the same therapist regularly, and she will not be going to school until next semester, so she can relax and cool down. Even though she is not living with me anymore, I am going to make sure to call her every day, and I hope that she will still someday open up to me. I also plan on going to visit my mother and Maggie sometime before or after Christmas, so we can all celebrate it together, and I can still celebrate it with my husband and son on the actual day. <br/>
<br/>
Once again, thank you to all of the people who have given me support and help. I might not have been completely successful, but I think that over the last weekend, Maggie and I have gotten a lot closer. I think I am lucky that she is even giving me a chance to talk to her, considering the life I put her through. I cannot say that I’m not sad or anything. I am sad, and I am worried, but I’m also very happy that we were able to help Maggie out, and find what was bothering her. If she kept it to herself, who knows what she would have done. <br/>
<br/>
Again, thank you every one. I can’t express how blessed I am to have gotten help from you. I wish you all happy lives and a merry Christmas! <E>
</E></r>
<br/>
First, I want to thank everyone who helped me build a relationship with Maggie. I cannot imagine how much I might have messed up without your help. I do not think I was successful, but I certainly didn’t fail totally. Thank you all so much.<br/>
<br/>
Second, I guess I’ll just tell you what happened. <br/>
<br/>
On Thursday of last week, I got a call from Maggie’s school. The woman on the phone told me that I had to pick up Maggie from the office because she was having an anxiety attack. I hurried over to pick her up, and I brought her home. She was shaking and crying and I tried my best to comfort her. She didn’t say much, I think it was partly because she was crying too much. She would not tell me what was wrong, but she didn’t run away, and she let me hug her and hold her. She eventually fell asleep on the couch, so I called my mother and asked her to schedule a therapist appointment for Maggie, because we were going to visit my mother over the weekend. <br/>
<br/>
The next day, I didn’t make Maggie go to school, and she lay in bed all day. I was so worried. I called my mother again, and we decided that when Maggie and I visited, Maggie would stay there. We went to the airport later that day, and we went to my mother’s house. It was happy for a little, but it was obvious that Maggie was still feeling sad, because she went to bed soon after we arrived.<br/>
<br/>
On Saturday, the three of us went to a therapist. Maggie talked alone with the therapist, and then my mother and I went in to discuss the problems with just the therapist, afterwards. The therapist told us that Maggie was suffering from severe depression, which can often come suddenly. She had apparently had been suffering from a more mild form of depression for a while now. He said that it was a result of too much stress and too many things that were probably bothering her constantly. <br/>
<br/>
He said that it was partly because of being put into a new school, and a new family. A lot of it was because she never had a real father figure, and she always felt abandoned by me. She had relationship issues, such as a constant fear of being disliked (or abandoned by her friends). He said that she felt very lonely and she was feeling stressed about college, too. However, the most shocking thing that he told us was that she was dealing with sexual harassment from her old boyfriend and two of his friends. They had apparently been doing it for a while, and that seemed to be the cause of her fighting and acting-out. They even went so far as to message her on facebook while she was living at my house. Maggie’s old boyfriend physically hurt her at times, and pressured her into sex, which is rape by law. In addition to that, it was also statutory rape. <br/>
<br/>
I still cannot believe this! I feel so angry towards the boys that would do this to her. Even though I am not fit to be called her mother, I still love her no matter what, and I’m so mad at these boys. I even feel extremely guilty myself, because I had called her a slut at one point when I was first meeting her. I cannot tell in words how sad and angry I am right now. I wish those boys could see how they’ve hurt her. Maggie changed so suddenly. She became so timid and scared, and she just stayed in bed for a majority of the weekend. It's almost sad that she lets me hug her and show affection, because she used to be so strong-willed against that. <br/>
<br/>
The therapist was very helpful, and he helped my mother and I communicate with Maggie’s old school. They have suspended the boys, and two of them have been removed from the football team. The school also contacted the police. Two of the boys may even be faced with criminal charges now, including rape. I know it’s wrong of me to say this, but I really need to: I hope that those boys live miserable lives, and I'd be happy if they go to jail and get beaten up.<br/>
<br/>
The therapist helped us plan with the school, too. Maggie is going to be able pass this semester’s classes without attending them, because they are almost over (since they do not have class during Christmas break). She is not going to get a grade, only credit for completing them. She is also being allowed to take online courses next semester, so that she won’t have to stay at school for the full day. Maggie will be able to graduate with full credit at the end of this year, but the therapist recommends that she take next year off and go to college a year later, so she can gather herself mentally. He also prescribed some medicine for Maggie, but Maggie refuses to take it, because she does not want to be dependent upon it. <br/>
<br/>
I went home Monday, and Maggie stayed with my mother. Before I left, Maggie said good bye, and I hugged her and told her that I loved her. She said “I know”. Later, on the plane ride home, I cried! I couldn’t help it, and it was so embarrassing! I just couldn’t stop thinking about Maggie. I felt like I was leaving her, all alone and sad. I couldn't stop worrying that she would be bed ridden for the rest of her life. She has so much potential, she's so smart. I hope she can overcome depression.<br/>
<br/>
Anyways, Maggie will be seeing the same therapist regularly, and she will not be going to school until next semester, so she can relax and cool down. Even though she is not living with me anymore, I am going to make sure to call her every day, and I hope that she will still someday open up to me. I also plan on going to visit my mother and Maggie sometime before or after Christmas, so we can all celebrate it together, and I can still celebrate it with my husband and son on the actual day. <br/>
<br/>
Once again, thank you to all of the people who have given me support and help. I might not have been completely successful, but I think that over the last weekend, Maggie and I have gotten a lot closer. I think I am lucky that she is even giving me a chance to talk to her, considering the life I put her through. I cannot say that I’m not sad or anything. I am sad, and I am worried, but I’m also very happy that we were able to help Maggie out, and find what was bothering her. If she kept it to herself, who knows what she would have done. <br/>
<br/>
Again, thank you every one. I can’t express how blessed I am to have gotten help from you. I wish you all happy lives and a merry Christmas! <E>
</E></r>
