My wife and I are going NUTS! We have a three year old son and a two year old daughter who fight with eachother constantly. They cry when ever they want something and they usually cry for nothing at all. Our son will scream at the top of his lungs if any of the kids touch a toy that he deems as his. Our daughter will scream and cry every time my wife walks out of the room. We are at whits end and don't know what to do in this situation. We can't even get babysitters because they will both scream thier heads off. Please help. Any ideas?
Double-Trouble...
- Thread starter Dave_R
- Start date
I raised mine alone and this is the worst year you will go through. Mine were 3,2,2 and it eventually got better. You just have to set the rules down and stick to them. Get time out chairs. Start finding out what works and what doesn't. They are learning that mommy and daddy can go away and they will come back. Don't let them manage you. YOU are the parent. They won't scream past twenty minutes. You need to go out more often so they understand quicker that you do come back. Good luck. Try and do it during the day so they see you come back 
It'll all pass. Hang in there.
It'll all pass. Hang in there.Depends on the situation. Usually if we are at home they go to time out. (where they scream the hole time) If we are out we take them some where more private and try to talk them down. My wife has just about completely lost her mind. They cry and scream all the time.
They will eventually stop once they realize you will come back. Don't prolong the good-bye's either. Kiss them, hug them and go out the door. If you stay longer you are giving them the wrong message. They are VERY smart at that age. I'm telling you............now is the time to show them that you are the parent or they are going to control you.
Kids need security so if leaving them once and awhile is what is causing the screaming, you need to start working on a plan to get that under control. You will come back and to a 2 or 3 year old, thats not always an easy concept to remember. Bribery can work sometimes and I don't mean spending money or buying ice cream, though that would work too sometimes lol.
But before you leave, while getting ready explain to them what is going to happem. Tell them "dDo you guys remember Sally (babysitter)? well she is going to com eover and this evening and visit you guys, Wouldn't that be fun? Maybe you can watch Shrek (bare with me lol) with her? THat would be soooo much fun wouldn't it. Then when the babysitter gets there, visit for a bit, son't run out the door and NEVER sneak out the back when they are not paying attention. After a 10 or 20 min. visit then tell them again that you are leaving in about 5 min. then when it's time to go, remind them of all the fun they are going to have and kiss and hug and we will see you in a bit. Then leave. Of course they will scream, but from my two year old she is much easier to deal with now. She only screams for a few minutes then calms right down to play.
Another idea would be to make it special for the kids by taking one to a grandparents to spend the night while the other stays home with the babysitter, then switch the next time. Give the child some one on one time with a relative they love and osmetimes when both kids are freaking out they feed off of eac other
But before you leave, while getting ready explain to them what is going to happem. Tell them "dDo you guys remember Sally (babysitter)? well she is going to com eover and this evening and visit you guys, Wouldn't that be fun? Maybe you can watch Shrek (bare with me lol) with her? THat would be soooo much fun wouldn't it. Then when the babysitter gets there, visit for a bit, son't run out the door and NEVER sneak out the back when they are not paying attention. After a 10 or 20 min. visit then tell them again that you are leaving in about 5 min. then when it's time to go, remind them of all the fun they are going to have and kiss and hug and we will see you in a bit. Then leave. Of course they will scream, but from my two year old she is much easier to deal with now. She only screams for a few minutes then calms right down to play.
Another idea would be to make it special for the kids by taking one to a grandparents to spend the night while the other stays home with the babysitter, then switch the next time. Give the child some one on one time with a relative they love and osmetimes when both kids are freaking out they feed off of eac other
<r><COLOR color="#576569"><s></s>Here’s what I would do:<e></e></COLOR><e>[/FONT]</e></FONT><e>[/COLOR]</e></COLOR><br/>
<COLOR color="#576569"><s></s> <e></e></COLOR><e>[/FONT]</e></FONT><e>[/COLOR]</e></COLOR><br/>
<COLOR color="#576569"><s></s>>>>They cry when ever they want something<e></e></COLOR><e>[/FONT]</e></FONT><e>[/COLOR]</e></COLOR><br/>
<COLOR color="#576569"><s></s> <e></e></COLOR><e>[/FONT]</e></FONT><e>[/COLOR]</e></COLOR><br/>
<COLOR color="#576569"><s></s>Automatically means they won’t get what they want. Also show no reaction or frustration. Give them a warning that in a couple of seconds, if they keep crying they will lose dessert or toys. <e></e></COLOR><e>[/FONT]</e></FONT><e>[/COLOR]</e></COLOR><br/>
<COLOR color="#576569"><s></s> <e></e></COLOR><e>[/FONT]</e></FONT><e>[/COLOR]</e></COLOR><br/>
<COLOR color="#576569"><s></s> <e></e></COLOR><e>[/FONT]</e></FONT><e>[/COLOR]</e></COLOR><br/>
<COLOR color="#576569"><s></s>>>>Our son will scream at the top of his lungs if any of the kids touch a toy that he deems as his.<e></e></COLOR><e>[/FONT]</e></FONT><e>[/COLOR]</e></COLOR><br/>
<COLOR color="#576569"><s></s> <e></e></COLOR><e>[/FONT]</e></FONT><e>[/COLOR]</e></COLOR><br/>
<COLOR color="#576569"><s></s>Well that’s normal to be selfish, but I would remove that toy and tell the kid that he needs to learn to share.<e></e></COLOR><e>[/FONT]</e></FONT><e>[/COLOR]</e></COLOR><br/>
<COLOR color="#576569"><s></s> <e></e></COLOR><e>[/FONT]</e></FONT><e>[/COLOR]</e></COLOR><br/>
<COLOR color="#576569"><s></s> <e></e></COLOR><e>[/FONT]</e></FONT><e>[/COLOR]</e></COLOR><br/>
<COLOR color="#576569"><s></s> >>>Our daughter will scream and cry every time my wife walks out of the room.<e></e></COLOR><e>[/FONT]</e></FONT><e>[/COLOR]</e></COLOR><br/>
<COLOR color="#576569"><s></s> <e></e></COLOR><e>[/FONT]</e></FONT><e>[/COLOR]</e></COLOR><br/>
<COLOR color="#576569"><s></s>And what does your wife do? Probably react or not punish her or something, right? It just encourages the girl, and lets the kid know she has the power. <e></e></COLOR><e>[/FONT]</e></FONT><e>[/COLOR]</e></COLOR><br/>
<COLOR color="#576569"><s></s> <e></e></COLOR><e>[/FONT]</e></FONT><e>[/COLOR]</e></COLOR><br/>
<COLOR color="#576569"><s></s>Musicmom is right. End this now by being firm and consistent. My wife used to let our son get to her, and I just sat her down and said “Look…you can NOT let some 2 year old have power over you. It’s ridiculous. It’s crazy that you’re letting some kid control you. Man up!â€<e></e></COLOR> <e>[/FONT]</e></FONT><e>[/COLOR]</e></COLOR><FONT font="Arial"><s></s><e></e></FONT></r>
<COLOR color="#576569"><s></s> <e></e></COLOR><e>[/FONT]</e></FONT><e>[/COLOR]</e></COLOR><br/>
<COLOR color="#576569"><s></s>>>>They cry when ever they want something<e></e></COLOR><e>[/FONT]</e></FONT><e>[/COLOR]</e></COLOR><br/>
<COLOR color="#576569"><s></s> <e></e></COLOR><e>[/FONT]</e></FONT><e>[/COLOR]</e></COLOR><br/>
<COLOR color="#576569"><s></s>Automatically means they won’t get what they want. Also show no reaction or frustration. Give them a warning that in a couple of seconds, if they keep crying they will lose dessert or toys. <e></e></COLOR><e>[/FONT]</e></FONT><e>[/COLOR]</e></COLOR><br/>
<COLOR color="#576569"><s></s> <e></e></COLOR><e>[/FONT]</e></FONT><e>[/COLOR]</e></COLOR><br/>
<COLOR color="#576569"><s></s> <e></e></COLOR><e>[/FONT]</e></FONT><e>[/COLOR]</e></COLOR><br/>
<COLOR color="#576569"><s></s>>>>Our son will scream at the top of his lungs if any of the kids touch a toy that he deems as his.<e></e></COLOR><e>[/FONT]</e></FONT><e>[/COLOR]</e></COLOR><br/>
<COLOR color="#576569"><s></s> <e></e></COLOR><e>[/FONT]</e></FONT><e>[/COLOR]</e></COLOR><br/>
<COLOR color="#576569"><s></s>Well that’s normal to be selfish, but I would remove that toy and tell the kid that he needs to learn to share.<e></e></COLOR><e>[/FONT]</e></FONT><e>[/COLOR]</e></COLOR><br/>
<COLOR color="#576569"><s></s> <e></e></COLOR><e>[/FONT]</e></FONT><e>[/COLOR]</e></COLOR><br/>
<COLOR color="#576569"><s></s> <e></e></COLOR><e>[/FONT]</e></FONT><e>[/COLOR]</e></COLOR><br/>
<COLOR color="#576569"><s></s> >>>Our daughter will scream and cry every time my wife walks out of the room.<e></e></COLOR><e>[/FONT]</e></FONT><e>[/COLOR]</e></COLOR><br/>
<COLOR color="#576569"><s></s> <e></e></COLOR><e>[/FONT]</e></FONT><e>[/COLOR]</e></COLOR><br/>
<COLOR color="#576569"><s></s>And what does your wife do? Probably react or not punish her or something, right? It just encourages the girl, and lets the kid know she has the power. <e></e></COLOR><e>[/FONT]</e></FONT><e>[/COLOR]</e></COLOR><br/>
<COLOR color="#576569"><s></s> <e></e></COLOR><e>[/FONT]</e></FONT><e>[/COLOR]</e></COLOR><br/>
<COLOR color="#576569"><s></s>Musicmom is right. End this now by being firm and consistent. My wife used to let our son get to her, and I just sat her down and said “Look…you can NOT let some 2 year old have power over you. It’s ridiculous. It’s crazy that you’re letting some kid control you. Man up!â€<e></e></COLOR> <e>[/FONT]</e></FONT><e>[/COLOR]</e></COLOR><FONT font="Arial"><s></s><e></e></FONT></r>