Early Graduation...

[Father_0f_7]

We got a call monday from the principal at the high school about Dane. He told us that Dane has all the credits he needs and can graduate now if he wants. Meaning he won't have to go to the school anymore.

We had a meeting with the principal and Dane. Once he heard he wouldn't be able to play on the high school baseball team if he graduated early he said no thanks and left the room...end of discussion. He kind of seemed upset about it.

We are torn because on one hand if he stays in he gets college credits from his remaining classes (6 classes, 1/2 credit each, 3 college credits total). On the other hand, if he leaves he can be at his job full time for the next five months and save up a good amount of money.

We wouldn't be so worried if we knew his motives were good. But he outright told us he didn't care about the classes and is only staying because of baseball. Usually I wouldn't be worried at all but Dane doesn't like school. He's GREAT at it, always has good grades, but he hates it.

I'm just afraid that in a couple weeks he's going to get bored of staying in classes and say "forget it, I already graduated" or something like that.
I kind of talked to him earlier and said that if he stays in, the same rules are in effect...he must study, must get the best grades he can, blah blah blah. But I'm afraid he's going to realize that at some point we really can't do much about it.
At this point we're contemplating what to do if he just start slacking and getting C's and D's because it doesn't matter. What do we do then, pull him OUT of school? That would be extreme, and doesn't really seem like the right thing to do...

I'm proud of him, don't get me wrong. I just don't know what the best decision is for him. I fully believe that if it wasn't for baseball he would have said "bye" instead of "no thanks".

 

[stjohnjulie]

Well congrats to Dane! (I think?) I guess only time will tell as far as the grades go. I'd be worried too that he will slack off. I guess you can tell him that he needs to maintain his grades if he wants to do baseball...but doesn't the school require that anyhow? If his only motivation to stay in school is baseball, then you can also use that as the motivator to keep the grades at a level you know he's capable of.

 

[Jeremy+3]

Surely if he has enough credits to graduate it doesn't matter if his marks fall? Are these extra classes specifically for his college degree, or are they just random classes that you can take over? Are credits normally that low for college classes, or is it because he is doing it at school?

 

[Xero]

I would just let him stay, I think those college credits are really important and they will really help him out for when he has to start real college. But I would definitely have a serious talk with him about how, if he is going to stay, that it CAN'T just be about baseball and that he needs to keep his grades up no matter what. I would go as far as to say that if he starts to let his grades slip, that he will need to make the decision to leave early anyway because school is not just for baseball and he doesn't need to be making it that way. Having bad grades at the very end of your graduating year not only looks bad to your teachers and feels bad for you, but it also looks bad to colleges and affects your overall GPA. So I personally would tell him that he either needs to be serious about grades and not just baseball, or he can go back to that office right now and tell the principal that he's going to graduate early.

I bet he'll be alright though, your kids are so good. And seriously, good for him, he's a smart boy! He must do a very good job in school to be ready to go early already.

 

[mom2many]

Lupan has all the credits he needs to graduate also, but I made him stay cause of the college credits and because he needs track for scholarships and if he takes the early out he can't run.

I understand what you are saying, but I also know that baseball is really important to Dane so if this is what he wants then I would leave it be.

Watch his grades, he still needs those to play baseball. So make a deal with him, tell him his grades need to stay at their current level, if he does that you will not say a word about pulling him out. If he can't do that then you guys will have to pull him. Like a job you have to work to your potential and as long as he is doing that you will be supportive.

 

[Father_0f_7]

I guess you can tell him that he needs to maintain his grades if he wants to do baseball...but doesn't the school require that anyhow?

Yes, they do. But we're still a little concerned. My gut tells me that he's going to get tired of it.

Surely if he has enough credits to graduate it doesn't matter if his marks fall?

It doesn't matter to them...it matters to us.

Are these extra classes specifically for his college degree, or are they just random classes that you can take over?

These are his normal classes...English, 2 Math classes, 2 Science classes, History.

Are credits normally that low for college classes, or is it because he is doing it at school?

Actual college classes are more credits. But these are high school AP classes.

Having bad grades at the very end of your graduating year not only looks bad to your teachers and feels bad for you, but it also looks bad to colleges and affects your overall GPA.

That's what we told him on the way home from the meeting. If he fails the classes they don't count against him in college (or in high school) it's just a "if you pass this class you pass it for college, if you fail it, no harm done" kind of thing.

I bet he'll be alright though, your kids are so good. And seriously, good for him, he's a smart boy! He must do a very good job in school to be ready to go early already.

Thank you! We're very proud of him.

Lupan has all the credits he needs to graduate also, but I made him stay cause of the college credits and because he needs track for scholarships and if he takes the early out he can't run.

Congrats to Lupan!

I understand what you are saying, but I also know that baseball is really important to Dane so if this is what he wants then I would leave it be.

That's why we're letting him stay in school. He loves the game, he's good at it, and it's really the only time he's 100% himself these days.

 

[TabascoNatalie]

does he WANT to college afterwards? or it is what you expect of him? because if he doesn't like learning, maybe it isn't the best idea (at least at this time of life)?

 

[Father_0f_7]

he wants to go to college. He already has a early acceptance to The Naval Academy and already has a spot on the baseball team. He just doesn't like high school because of the teachers.

 

[bssage]

Kinda a crappy deal to go through all those years of school then be asked to leave for the best part of it. I can understand why he would want to stay.

I would think that this would be a situation that the school is familiar with.

Our school had a program's for students who worked, to work half the day and attend school the other half. They also allowed students to do the same at the local college. College classes half the day and HS the other.

I think you concerns and his desire's are both warranted and legitimate. I am kinda suprised that the school doesn't already plan for this

 

[mwalters426]

I miss those school days!

 

[nickhart]

I think you should let him know that he'll be saving money from college by taking classes in HS for free... assuming he's going to a public HS.

And you can let him know that he has the option of staying in school for the credits, or working if he drops his grades.

He's probably going to get it all paid by scholarships, hopefully he'll go to a college that won't require loans.

But right now his head is in baseball and friends and his entire life and identity exists in HS.

to cut him short of his HS experience would be taking a part of him. So you can offer him that option.

Don't be scared of making him upset. Moods change all the time. As long you never ever violate his trust, your integrity, and your channel of open communication.

 

[Father_0f_7]

He wont be paying for college. He will be on the baseball team at Naval Academy no matter what,already has his major picked out and everything.

We talked to him about his options...Stay in school and get college credits, or get a job and save money for whatever he wants.

He knows his options and he assures us that he will stay on top of school but at the same time he skipped school today because "a teacher was pi**ing him off" so he left at 1st period.

 

[nickhart]

I think He'll be fine. I seriously doubt he's going to do something dumb enough to get kicked from the Naval Academy. You've obviously done a fantastic job of raising a kid who was accepted to a naval academy.

When you know you can get away with skipping, you'r going to do it. You gotta have you zigs and zags. A day of skipping isn't going to throw away 4 years of hard work and consistently showing dedication and responsibility in course work. He takes that stuff seriously.

Lighten up man... go have an ice tea and trust him. =D

 

[Father_0f_7]

Lighten up man... go have an ice tea and trust him. =D

LOL, I know it sounds like i'm freaking out but he has some....history. I'd be happy to explain it if you'd like.

Ya, I keep trying to forget he's exactly like me but so far it isn't working too well.

You've obviously done a fantastic job of raising a kid who was accepted to a naval academy.

Thank you but truthfully, it's all him.

 

[RHaynesMFT]

Sit down with him to discuss the pros and cons of each choice.

But if he wants to stay let him stay. Whats the rush in him graduating?

 

[PennQuaker09]

Well, I think this all depends on how Annapolis handles AP credit. In order to actually get the credit at a school like that, he's going to have to get a 4-5 on the exams.

 

[Father_0f_7]

He will. I wen't to Naval Academy, I'm familiar with how it works. It's changed a little but for the most part it's the same as when I was there.

He and his guidence counselor spoke with a recruiter at USNA so he knows what he has to do, and so far he's been doing a pretty good job.

He's slacked off a little bit but he hasn't gotten less than a high "B" on any of his work...it's just the leaving class early that we have to work on.

 

[PennQuaker09]

I remember back when I was a senior, once that first week of April was over, even coming to school seemed like a chore. I even noticed that when I was teaching. Once the Ivy League schools send out acceptance letters (the first week of April) even the best kids get a bit lazy.

I propose you make him pay you back the $90 for each AP exam if he doesn't pass. I'm assuming that in the 8 year since I've been out of school the price of the exams have increased.

 

[ciws14]

Good call Quaker!