Is there anything I can do to help my future wife with her anxiety of becoming a step mother to my 4 year old son. We are looking to move into our own place towards the end of this year.
Her main concern is discipline. She has he currently has none and that is primarily due to the fact that my son and I live with my mother and she spoils him and acts as a 24/7 grandmother (this is how my mother raised me). Everything is on my son's time schedule, when and how he wants to do it, what he wants to eat and if he wants something else to eat, she gets up in the middle of dinner to make it for him. He does no wrong, can climb over the couches, etc.) My fiance says she got really lucky that i turned out to be the person i was since i was raised with no discipline or rules.
This wouldn't be horrible, however when I put my foot down to discipline him, she always comments and discredits me in front of my son. My fiance sees this and it frustrates her to no end, as it does me too and i am seeing a therapist for this.
My mom claims that she tries to "make up" for when my son is with his biological mother 2 nights / week cause that is a "crazy household".
I try to assure her we will set our ground rules in our home but she is really scared he wont adapt and that my mother will still have some control over our home even not living there with us.
I am looking for things I can do or say to my fiance to help her. To assure her we can do this and my mother won't be involved. She wants me to put my foot down to my mother but that starts arguments and fights. I don't want my son to see that and my mother is recovering from open heart surgery so her blood pressure needs to stay down.
Its a very difficult situation that i am trying to handle with care for all parties and take the next step when my fiance and I get our own place.
With that said, i'll ask again... does anyone have anyways i can further support my fiance?
Her main concern is discipline. She has he currently has none and that is primarily due to the fact that my son and I live with my mother and she spoils him and acts as a 24/7 grandmother (this is how my mother raised me). Everything is on my son's time schedule, when and how he wants to do it, what he wants to eat and if he wants something else to eat, she gets up in the middle of dinner to make it for him. He does no wrong, can climb over the couches, etc.) My fiance says she got really lucky that i turned out to be the person i was since i was raised with no discipline or rules.
This wouldn't be horrible, however when I put my foot down to discipline him, she always comments and discredits me in front of my son. My fiance sees this and it frustrates her to no end, as it does me too and i am seeing a therapist for this.
My mom claims that she tries to "make up" for when my son is with his biological mother 2 nights / week cause that is a "crazy household".
I try to assure her we will set our ground rules in our home but she is really scared he wont adapt and that my mother will still have some control over our home even not living there with us.
I am looking for things I can do or say to my fiance to help her. To assure her we can do this and my mother won't be involved. She wants me to put my foot down to my mother but that starts arguments and fights. I don't want my son to see that and my mother is recovering from open heart surgery so her blood pressure needs to stay down.
Its a very difficult situation that i am trying to handle with care for all parties and take the next step when my fiance and I get our own place.
With that said, i'll ask again... does anyone have anyways i can further support my fiance?