Finally got the 'I hate you'...

[kdryan]

Been waiting years for this and wondering why it never came. I told Alexander to clean his room the other day, he didn't like it and raised a fuss, I grounded him from video games, and he stormed off into the bathroom saying 'I hate my dad...' We had a long talk about how that's not cool, and how words hurt and I think he took it to heart because the next day he started off by saying he wasn't going to be rude to anyone all day. It lasted all of 5 minutes until his sister sat in HIS seat in our mini-van...

 

[stjohnjulie]

Welcome to the club! Ok, maybe it's not a cool club, but it almost seems like a parental rite of passage. I got my first (and only so far) "I hate you" about two months ago. He almost made it to 10... He's been dishing them out to dad for quite awhile though. We reacted very differently (me and dad). His reaction was to get very upset, I think he cried, and also sent him to his room (big blow out basically). I pretended like he didn't say it. The next day when he was all calmed down I talked to him about how the things he says can get him in trouble, even more so as he gets older. But didn't specifically mention the "I hate you". We've had a couple of big fights since then, but he hasn't said it again. I kind of feel like I took the power out of the phrase. I know he doesn't mean it anyway....but I do have to make sure he knows that if he starts mouthing off when he is a teenager or young adult to other people that they may get really really mad and kick his butt. So it's best to walk away if you are getting really mad.

And, in my opinion, 5 minutes of not being rude to a sibling at that age is like an ETERNITY!!!

 

[MomoJA]

It's amazing how hurtful it can be, even when you know they don't mean it. My daughter says this fairly often, and she is only 4. (Like I've said before, D.R.A.M.A QUEEN!) Depending on the situation, I ignore it or say, "I love you," or I tell her to find a better way to express her anger. None of that has changed things, yet.

 

[mom2many]

If there is a club, I would be the president LOL with 8 kids I have heard more times then I could count and would probably be a millionaire if I had a nickle for every time it was said.

With the first 2-3 kids it would hurt my feelings, now it's just "whatever" I am doing a good job then. It does usually stop for a while and then they become teenagers and the more dramatic ones will start it all over again only with a "you're ruining my life!" thrown in for good measure.

 

[mmarymom91]

my 17 year old daughter has been hating us for years now...the boys went through it but came right out of it quickly.....she is the youngest of 3....now she is threatening not to come on vacation with us.....what to do??

 

[IADad]

I haven't hit that one yet, so far my 9yo takes out his frustrations with little brother. Which is interesting because he's quick to point our how badly his friends big brothers treat them...so, far, all it's taken is pointing that out for him to straighten up (too bad it only lasts 10 minutes sometimes...they never said it'd be easy.)