friend's dad.....

[Chalula]

A close friend of mine, 17, a very nice young lady, has to live just with her controlling dad. It’s terrible. She has missed out on a lot of the female influence that really should have been there for her. She had behavior problems because of this and people didn’t want to include her. She is pretty much just left to cope. She performs poorly in school (even though she is very smart) because she has so much stress in her life. And the poor girl has no social life (even when people do try to include her) because her dad controls her. I make sure to be there for her and I hang out with her as much as I possibly can, but it’s hard because she has no freedom to go anywhere. It’s so bad for her. She doesn’t know heck about life and he is preventing her from being independent and developing a strong character. Anyone else in a similar situation? Any tips on what else I can do for her?[/SIZE]</SIZE>[/COLOR]

She would be so much better off living with her mom but her dad won't let her. He says that she would not be responsible enough and would not behave for her mom. I tld her to tell the authorities, surely at 17 she has the right to live with her mom? The mom would be happy to live with her as long as she behaved.[/SIZE]</SIZE>[/COLOR]

 

[anh_ghep]

&lt;r&gt;&lt;QUOTE author="Chalula;109383"&gt;&lt;s&gt;&lt;/s&gt;A close friend of mine, 17, a very nice young lady, has to live just with her controlling dad. It’s terrible. She has missed out on a lot of the female influence that really should have been there for her. She had behavior problems because of this and people didn’t want to include her. She is pretty much just left to cope. She performs poorly in school (even though she is very smart) because she has so much stress in her life. And the poor girl has no social life (even when people do try to include her) because her dad controls her. I make sure to be there for her and I hang out with her as much as I possibly can, but it’s hard because she has no freedom to go anywhere. It’s so bad for her. She doesn’t know heck about life and he is preventing her from being independent and developing a strong character. Anyone else in a similar situation? Any tips on what else I can do for her?&lt;e&gt;&lt;/e&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;e&gt;[/SIZE]</SIZE>&lt;/e&gt;&lt;/SIZE&gt;&lt;e&gt;[/COLOR]&lt;/e&gt;&lt;/COLOR&gt;&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;COLOR color="black"&gt;&lt;s&gt;&lt;/s&gt;She would be so much better off living with her mom but her dad won't let her. He says that she would not be responsible enough and would not behave for her mom. I tld her to tell the authorities, surely at 17 she has the right to live with her mom? The mom would be happy to live with her as long as she behaved.&lt;e&gt;&lt;/e&gt;&lt;/FONT&gt;&lt;e&gt;[/SIZE]</SIZE>&lt;/e&gt;&lt;/SIZE&gt;&lt;e&gt;[/COLOR]&lt;/e&gt;&lt;/COLOR&gt;&lt;e&gt;[/quote]&lt;/e&gt;&lt;/QUOTE&gt;
oh..terrible, Her dad is not good father.&lt;/r&gt;

 

[3sACrowd228]

oh i feel for her as my daughter has come out of a controlling relationship...but she may return to it.

How exactly does he control her ? My Daughter`s ex bf changed the way she dressed , isolated her friends and made her stop doing her part time job.

 

[Xero]

That does sound like a sad situation. Unfortunately, there's not a lot you can do about it. She should however know that I THINK if the other parent agrees to it, she should be able to make the decision to live with her instead of dad. But unless I'm wrong, the mom probably has to go for custody rights first, to get it started. So I think its possible, but there is a lot that would have to be done. When is her birthday? When she turns 18, she can legally move in with her mom without her father's permission (obviously) so really her freedom isn't that far away. Its probably for the best that she just waits for that to happen, although I'm sure it wont be easy, she will probably be alright.

 

[mom2many]

I agree with Zero on this one.

 

[NancyM]

I'm not sure what you actually mean by 'control' in this situation, I hope it appears worse than it really is.

Like Xero said she'll have to wait until she 's 18 to move out. Hopefully her mom will let her move in we don't know that story either.

If not mom maybe she can move in with an aunt or a grandparent.
Maybe you can keep reminding her that she only has one more year, and she will be free to decide what to do. That might keep up her moral.

You are a good friend to keep seeing her and talking to her, I'm sure it means more to her than you know.

 

[3sACrowd228]

hope you are there for her so she doesnt have to be on her own and lonely so often.

 

[JessicaMadison]

It sounds like you're doing what you can do. I guarantee the minute she turns 18 she's out of there. He can't stop her then. It's her freedom. I find that when teens turn 18 they go rebellious for awhile. But, what Xero said is right.

 

[jakai03]

Yea I agree, the best thing you can do is continue to counsel her and be there for her as much as you can. Also encourage her not to have hard feelings towards her dad, he is her father and even though he is wrong in a lot of ways, he is doing what he thinks is best and right...have you tried sitting down having a calm, cool, collective casual with her father on a few things... without making him feel like he is the bad guy? like trying to get an understanding moreso of what is it that he is really afraid of when it comes to giving his daughter more freedom and liberties

 

[3sACrowd228]

hows it going over there ? is she still with him and does she still control her ?