I'm Catie (duh), I'm married to my best friend who has a one year old daguther. His ex (they weren't married) left when the baby was about 7 months old. She gave up custody and is completely out of the baby's life. Baby girl now lives with my husband's parents who have been helping him raise her since she was born.
My husband and I are working to create a stable and good home so he can bring her back from his parents. This won't happen for a few months, but I would like to be prepared for this. Since my husband has sole custody, my role is even more complex since I will be the only mother & mother figure in his daughter's life. (unless you include grandmother, but that is something different, I think)
There's so many things running through my mind - how do we(me&her) bond?
How do my husband and I continue to uphold our marriage and at the same time be good parents? How do I keep myself honorable by not falling into a competition for attention? (you know, kind of like "I'm your wife, and I feel like your daughter is stealing all of you) - really I think, that is a sub-question of the latter - how to keep both relationships healthy and loving? It is clear to me that kids' needs are priority, they depend completely on us, but they also need to learn they're not the center of the universe... :idea:
I could ask so many little questions but I think it all comes down to how to saddle this horse... Any advice, all words of guidance would be helpful. I would especially like to know if anyone else here is the only mother in her spouse's child's life and how you accepted the role of motherhood and began to enjoy it. That is definitely one thing that scares me, I'm young and very independent, I feel that will surely be a bit of a challenge for me to adjust to being a mother. My husband is aware of this, but he also knows that I want to be a good mother, and I think that learning about it and preparing for it best I can will make things easier. I hope so!
I want to be comfortable in these shoes, and I want to have a truly wonderful bond with my family as a whole. I really hope I can do my best, because I hate to be disappointed.
Thank you for reading:wubclub: any and all replies will be most appreciated
My husband and I are working to create a stable and good home so he can bring her back from his parents. This won't happen for a few months, but I would like to be prepared for this. Since my husband has sole custody, my role is even more complex since I will be the only mother & mother figure in his daughter's life. (unless you include grandmother, but that is something different, I think)
There's so many things running through my mind - how do we(me&her) bond?
How do my husband and I continue to uphold our marriage and at the same time be good parents? How do I keep myself honorable by not falling into a competition for attention? (you know, kind of like "I'm your wife, and I feel like your daughter is stealing all of you) - really I think, that is a sub-question of the latter - how to keep both relationships healthy and loving? It is clear to me that kids' needs are priority, they depend completely on us, but they also need to learn they're not the center of the universe... :idea:
I could ask so many little questions but I think it all comes down to how to saddle this horse... Any advice, all words of guidance would be helpful. I would especially like to know if anyone else here is the only mother in her spouse's child's life and how you accepted the role of motherhood and began to enjoy it. That is definitely one thing that scares me, I'm young and very independent, I feel that will surely be a bit of a challenge for me to adjust to being a mother. My husband is aware of this, but he also knows that I want to be a good mother, and I think that learning about it and preparing for it best I can will make things easier. I hope so!
I want to be comfortable in these shoes, and I want to have a truly wonderful bond with my family as a whole. I really hope I can do my best, because I hate to be disappointed.
Thank you for reading:wubclub: any and all replies will be most appreciated
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