<t>I need some advice on how to approach sensitive subjects with my boyfriend. Currently his 9 year old daughter has been making frequent attempts to miss school by “faking sick”. It has been going on since the beginning of the school year. She’s completely fine on weekends and during school vacations but as soon as it’s bedtime the night before school or as soon as she wakes up in the morning on a school day, she complains about feeling ill. This happens at least two-three times a week. He is fully aware that a majority of the time she is not sick but still caves in and lets her stay home from school. Meanwhile during this time, he allows her to watch tv, play games, play on the computer, have snacks and treats, etc. and as soon as our other kids come home (his 6 year old son & my 6 year old daughter) his daughter runs around playing with them with no problem. When I bring up suggestions such as eliminating the tv, computer, games, etc. he looks at me as if it’s a cruel thing for me to suggest. I am aware that there is probably an underlying issue to this. But when I stress the importance of getting this figured out, he brushes it off like it’s not that big of a deal. I am concerned that her habits will carry on when she’s older as well as it might influence our younger kids. Any suggestions?</t>
HELP! Child pretends to be sick...
- Thread starter mlmurphy
- Start date
Yeah that would get me wound up also. I think your post is right on target as far as who needs the attention which is her dad or your boyfriend. Does he frequently miss time at work?
When I was a kid if we were to sick to go to school we were to sick to do anything else. Through the weekend. Also meant a visit to the doc.
But I really dont see that as an option on your own unless you want to be the "Wicked Stepmother".
I really don't know the "right" advice to give. I do know what I would do. I would ask him if he could choose a priority for her would it be games and TV. Or an education. Then maybe ask if he can add on to the house or turn the basement into an apartment for when she becomes an adult. Ask if he has prepared for her a finical maintenance account for the time he passes. And finally ask him. If he were an employer would he hire his daughter. If he were a young man would he want a girl that would choose to layabout rather than attend her responsibilities. I dont know how the two of you interact. If you can have fun with this. Or it has to be "the talk".
I do agree without his support you will simply be swimming against the current.
Good luck
Bryan
When I was a kid if we were to sick to go to school we were to sick to do anything else. Through the weekend. Also meant a visit to the doc.
But I really dont see that as an option on your own unless you want to be the "Wicked Stepmother".
I really don't know the "right" advice to give. I do know what I would do. I would ask him if he could choose a priority for her would it be games and TV. Or an education. Then maybe ask if he can add on to the house or turn the basement into an apartment for when she becomes an adult. Ask if he has prepared for her a finical maintenance account for the time he passes. And finally ask him. If he were an employer would he hire his daughter. If he were a young man would he want a girl that would choose to layabout rather than attend her responsibilities. I dont know how the two of you interact. If you can have fun with this. Or it has to be "the talk".
I do agree without his support you will simply be swimming against the current.
Good luck
Bryan
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I'm sorry you're in that situation. I have a 5 yr old that has a stomach ache almost every morning. Maybe there's something going on at school like a bully or something. I have step-kids so i understand how hard it can be to discuss his children with him. For some reason men seem to get very protective and defensiveness when it comes to their kids.
Without his support it's going to be a battle. If you guys plan on getting married or being together in the long run, issues concerning the kids must be addressed. Hope everything works out for you guys!
Without his support it's going to be a battle. If you guys plan on getting married or being together in the long run, issues concerning the kids must be addressed. Hope everything works out for you guys!
Stomach ache is directly related to stress. And school is very stressful. Not just bullies, but all sorts of pressure. I'd say try to find a key to the source of stress and then you can deal with it.
My son did this too, we spent a lot of time talking to him. He wouldnt open up until we tried some alternative play therapy like drawing and writing his worries on piece of paper and setting them free, we would then read them and talk to him about it. It was another child at school.