okay, so case in point. I hear DW's phone signal a text message, I pick it up and take it to her. Now, her phone displays the notification so If I even glance at it in picking it up, I can see who it's from and the start of the message...so I don't consider that snooping or not trusting her, it's like over hearing a conversation being had in the open. Now, in return I don't have anything on my phone I wouldn't want DW to see, so I feel perfetly comfortable leaving it unlocked and sitting without me even in the house. And I think she's the same with me, but I don't snoop through her texts or call history.
We do, however on occassion as DS1 who he just got a text from, or look through his, at his age, we feel it's our responsibility to see that he's using it properly and interacting with his friends properly as they are all just starting to learn how to use this stuff. He knows that he has no privacy with his phone, so it's no big deal if we pick it up and look in his presence. It's part of the price he pays for having a phone at his age. I don't know how trusting or respectful of his privacy I'll be when he's a teen, regardless of how well he's performed as a tween...I just really don't know yet. I hat to give absolute answers until I'm in that situation.