Help! I don't know what to do....


New member
Jun 2, 2020
Just like every day, I looked through his backpack & checked his agenda (which is where his teacher communicates any issues or news). Today, there was a note that said "dared another student to stab himself with a knife. said he was joking and apologized."
I am shocked & I don't know how I need to parent this situation. We explained that the statement wasn't funny, brought attention to the reality of what he had said and what it meant, and asked him to empathize ("how would you have felt if your friend had dared you to do that?").
My husband and I are doing the best we can, but this is a delicate relationship because our 9 yr old is my husband's youngest brother...not our son. We have been caring for him for 2 years, so he knows we aren't his mom and dad, we are his brother and sister. It's a fine line we tread any time we discipline him, because we have to try to respect the boundaries so he doesn't become resentful toward us.
I don't want this to continue, but more importantly, I want him to understand the sensitivity of violence. I am worried that if we punish him too harshly, he will only be more careful about what he says to certain people, and the root of the problem will just grow because it wasn't repaired. But, if we are too lax about this situation, he will not see the flaw in his actions.
I'm just worried about him. How do I efficiently parent this?

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