Help me...please....

[jrrsmom]

I don't even know where to start. First just in case you didn't know I have a 21 month old little girl. I am in the process of getting a divorce. Mr. Wonderful has been out of the house for about a month. Before he left dd went to bed no issues around 7 - 7:30 pm. We get up about 6 am. Now...since he's been gone I can't get her to go to bed. Here it's 8:30 and she's upstairs screaming.

Plus, when I picker her up tonight Mr. Wonderful said she hasn't had a pacifier for 2 days even at bedtime. Personally I think it's a lot for her.

I feel horrible. I'm sitting here crying wondering why things are harder for me than they are for him. :arghh:

 

[bssage]

First Mr W wants you to think its harder for you. He's not telling the whole story.

Second (misory loves company) right now I am in the same boat as you. My dd hasnt had a bm in 7 days and it is also going to be a long night at our house. This probably wont make you feel better but these kind of nights come and go several times a year. You have a lot of company here.

Bryan

ps Next time you talk to Mr W tell him she wipes her own butt, dresses herself, and makes breakfast at your house

 

[Dadu2004]

Bryan may have a good point there, but don't excuse the fact that a 21 month old child knows what's going on. A child of that age reacts alot on emotion...she knows that there's turmoil and emotional upset in her environment and she's probably seeking comfort. Do your best to keep all arguments or emotional upset with the ex away from her, give her a ton of love and comfort, and be as patient as you can as her world has been turned upside down and she doesn't know why.

 

[NinJaBob]

Bryan may have a good point there, but don't excuse the fact that a 21 month old child knows what's going on. A child of that age reacts alot on emotion...she knows that there's turmoil and emotional upset in her environment and she's probably seeking comfort. Do your best to keep all arguments or emotional upset with the ex away from her, give her a ton of love and comfort, and be as patient as you can as her world has been turned upside down and she doesn't know why.

:yes:

I didn't respond at first because I didn't know what to say but Steve hit the nail on the head. I wish I would have said that. The best you can do is not compare yourself to MR W. and just do your best to do your best. Like Steve said try to keep the negative emotions as far away from her as possible. I'm sure things will settle down after a while. Everyone needs to adjust.

 

[jrrsmom]

As far as how she's acting in general she's much better. She's been happier! She sings all the time (which I must say is too adorable). She's much more calm and I think it's because he's not here and there's not that constant emotion from him and me all the time.

We've not had a pacifier for almost a week now and we're slowly asking less and less for it. She found one at the babysitter's and she threw it away. Nights are a little rough still. She wakes up in the middle of the night and I do put her in bed with me but I put her back when she falls asleep so she can wake up in her own bed.

It's a process we are both going through. I just worry. A lot.

 

[bssage]

Glad things have mellowed out for you.

 

[fallon]

DD was 25 months old when I left my 1st husband...all I can say is with time and understanding it gets better. ((HUGS))

 

[jackie0109]

Don't be bother everything will be alright. Just continue with your life and do the best for your children.