HELP!! My step-son is a bully!!...

[parentastic]

I couldn't disagree more with taking a soft approach when a kid is bullying and beating up other kids.

Hello mjgates, although you did not quote me directly, I believe your post might be a response to what I wrote in this thread. I'd like to respond to your post about "taking a soft approach".

This stems from the standpoint that there are only two approach possible. That you can only respond either in a "hard" or "soft" way, essentially.
It's a <I>false dichotomy</I>.
As a parent, you can (and certainly should!) handle bullying in a firm, immediate and effective way. But that does not necessarily mean you must punish the child.
Like many parents, you may be thinking that the only way to be firm with a child is to use force or threats. In more than one parent's mind, they are assumed to both be synonyms.
I invite you to think outside the box.

The punishment should fit the crime, and for a kid, bullying and beating up other kids should come along with a stiff punishment letting the kid know this is not OK.

If it's not okay, then why would the parent do it to their own kid?
Of course, it's easier to see this when you use things like spanking to "solve" the bullying a child is doing... because when you think of it, it's kind of evident that you hit a child for hitting.
But if you think about it, punishment in general sends the same kind of message. It's humiliating for a child. It shows the child he is powerless in front of the bigger adult. It generates feelings very similar to the feelings the child has generated for the bullied child.
It basically tells the child that the parent is a hypocrite: "Do as I say, don't do as I just did with you".

USA has the biggest ratio of people in prison ever - over a million people.
They also have the highest crime rate in all of the industrialized countries, while they hold one of the lowest standard of quality of living.
Most big-time criminals were once small criminals, who were "punished" in a way that "fit the crime" - and in the end, did it help them redeem themselves? Did it give new meaning to their life? Did it help them learn compassion and empathy and teach them to help the people who are weaker than themselves?
I think asking the question is already an answer.

If treats would work, there would be no crimes and prisons would be empty. If punishment worked, there would be no second offense.
We know how <I>that </I>works!
Punishment doesn't teach anything.

Is the parent's objective to make their child suffer for their "crimes"?
It is it to actually get them to stop their bullying?
Is it to take revenge?
Or is it to teach them empathy and compassion?

At what point do we start holding kids accountable for their own actions? From day 1 IMO.

Absolutely. Kids should be held accountable from day 1.

In all walks of life, we will be punished if we break the rules, laws, etc. I don’t understand this idea of punishing shows the kids that power works. There is power everywhere they turn from parents to teachers to coaches, etc...

The idea that a parent should do things simply because it works that way everywhere else in life is flawed. Children are not adults. Their brain aren't fully matured yet. They are developing their mind. The relationship they build with their parents is the very foundation on which is built most of the way they will see the world and interact with other people after. It's critical. This is why great care should be applied into how to reverse this trend, rather than reinforce it.
Parents and parental love should be unconditional. It is that love, ALWAYS present, that causes the child to seek to emulate and learn, rather than react and rebel.

So if the bully beats up a kid at school, the school should not punish them so they do not show the kid that power works?

Again, I invite you to consider that punishing or not punishing are not the only two alternatives. There are several techniques, involving empowerment and reparation, to handle a child's bullying in an effective and firm way, and they do not involve punishment.

No, the school should absolutely put whatever punishment they would hand anyone else for fighting in school.

The school will do whatever they must, according to their rules of conduct. What is going on with parent and child is a different story. Parents have the responsibility to coach, to teach, to help kids grow up - not just to control, punish or enact revenge.

While parents are searching for the root of the problem and not punishing, other kids are getting bullied and beat up. That is not acceptable, and the bullying should be stopped immediately.

Yes, bulling should be immediately stopped.
And again, it's not an "either / or" situation.
You can stop the bullying from happening, immediately. Which does not necessarily involves punishment, by the way. And you can ALSO work on the root cause of the problem.

Nicolas Abesdris
Family Life Educator

 

[nhendric]

I agree, I would ask what his reason for doing this is. If you can get him to admit it it might make him realize what he is actually doing and the harm he is causing

 

[mjgates]

[FONT=&amp;quot]

[/FONT]Hello mjgates, although you did not quote me directly, I believe your post might be a response to what I wrote in this thread. I'd like to respond to your post about "taking a soft approach".

This was not specifically to you. More a response to several posts on the subject. After reading your post, I may of taken the responses as handling the situation too lightly with a gradual process of fixing the issue while the bullying continued, as you may of taken mine as a more harsh approach than intended.

This stems from the standpoint that there are only two approach possible. That you can only respond either in a "hard" or "soft" way, essentially.
It's a <I>false dichotomy</I>.
As a parent, you can (and certainly should!) handle bullying in a firm, immediate and effective way. But that does not necessarily mean you must punish the child.
Like many parents, you may be thinking that the only way to be firm with a child is to use force or threats. In more than one parent's mind, they are assumed to both be synonyms.
I invite you to think outside the box.

I don't use force, and I don't use threats. What good is threatening to take an action if you don't actually follow through? At this point, I'm wondering if punishment means belittling a child to some degree in your mind. Taking away video games for a week, giving additional chores, not letting your child play with the other kids outside for a couple days, early bedtime for misbehavior. These are all forms of punishment. Neither involves force or threats.

If it's not okay, then why would the parent do it to their own kid?
Of course, it's easier to see this when you use things like spanking to "solve" the bullying a child is doing... because when you think of it, it's kind of evident that you hit a child for hitting.
But if you think about it, punishment in general sends the same kind of message. It's humiliating for a child. It shows the child he is powerless in front of the bigger adult. It generates feelings very similar to the feelings the child has generated for the bullied child.
It basically tells the child that the parent is a hypocrite: "Do as I say, don't do as I just did with you".

Again, still not sure what your definition of punishment is. But I can tell you this, my child beats on another child, he's not coming home to a "let's talk and get to the bottom of this", then back to life as usual. Completing homework, throwing the baseball, watching cartoons or playing video games for a half hour in the evenings. Homework is an obvious. The other fun activities, not so much for whatever time my wife and I deem appropriate. Again, not using force or threatening, but in no way will he be rewarded by being allowed to participate in the fun activities. Or, punished by taking them away, depending on how you look at it. I do agree that communication is a very important part of the process as well. When something is taken away, it’s important to communicate as to why, as well as sit down and talk about what happened in depth. Try to find out why he/she acted in that manner; discuss why it is not the way to act, and why this kind of action should not happen in the future. A child feeling powerless due to being punished has a lot to do with how it is handed down, not because it is handed down.

USA has the biggest ratio of people in prison ever - over a million people.
They also have the highest crime rate in all of the industrialized countries, while they hold one of the lowest standard of quality of living.
Most big-time criminals were once small criminals, who were "punished" in a way that "fit the crime" - and in the end, did it help them redeem themselves? Did it give new meaning to their life? Did it help them learn compassion and empathy and teach them to help the people who are weaker than themselves?
I think asking the question is already an answer.

Most small time criminals never become big time criminals. I know a lot of people who have been through the justice system for small time crimes when they were young and dumb and are now upstanding members of society. You are referring to a small minority, not the majority, of small time criminals. And logic kind of dictates most big-time criminal minds start on a smaller scale and build. In most cases, the punishment did not make the criminal, or even steer them in a direction they weren't already heading on their own.

If treats would work, there would be no crimes and prisons would be empty. If punishment worked, there would be no second offense.
We know how <I>that </I>works!
Punishment doesn't teach anything.

I don't even know what to say to this.

Is the parent's objective to make their child suffer for their "crimes"?
It is it to actually get them to stop their bullying?
Is it to take revenge?
Or is it to teach them empathy and compassion?

Suffer. No. Stop Bullying. That's part of it. Revenge. I would hope not. Teach empathy and compassion. That should be an objective from the start. Not something that starts due to misbehavior. Although, may need to be strongly emphasized with violent behavior. Again, communication is important, but so is taking accountability for ones actions. Not saying any method other parents use is incorrect, as long as the common objective is achieved.

Absolutely. Kids should be held accountable from day 1.

And how do you hold them accountable? Serious question, as I'm not sure if were that far off on punishment (or just it’s definition), or actually closer to agreement on stopping the action immediately while actually fixing the issue, not just put a band aid on it.

The idea that a parent should do things simply because it works that way everywhere else in life is flawed. Children are not adults. Their brain aren't fully matured yet. They are developing their mind. The relationship they build with their parents is the very foundation on which is built most of the way they will see the world and interact with other people after. It's critical. This is why great care should be applied into how to reverse this trend, rather than reinforce it.
Parents and parental love should be unconditional. It is that love, ALWAYS present, that causes the child to seek to emulate and learn, rather than react and rebel.

Agreed, and well said.

Again, I invite you to consider that punishing or not punishing are not the only two alternatives. There are several techniques, involving empowerment and reparation, to handle a child's bullying in an effective and firm way, and they do not involve punishment.

My kids have never been the bully, but been on the other end. This is not to say we haven’t had times where some sort of discipline wasn’t needed. Although we are very lucky in the fact these issues are very few and far between, and a second offense is very rare. We use a combination of communication and punishment, and they understand what they did wrong, why they shouldn’t of done it, and are in agreement in the fact it shouldn’t happen again. Often times, they did not even understand why their actions were wrong to begin with until we discuss. Even though, in most cases, they knew it was something they should not of done. They just didn’t know why.

The school will do whatever they must, according to their rules of conduct. What is going on with parent and child is a different story. Parents have the responsibility to coach, to teach, to help kids grow up - not just to control, punish or enact revenge.

The school has to have a code of conduct. Just as society must have laws. I am completely aware a parents relationship is much different than that of the school. Unfortunately, I’m not so sure all parents do, and trust in the school, daycare, or other outside institutions to govern their childs behavior with no home intervention. But no matter which way you twist it, punishment and the presence of higher power is always going to exist.

Yes, bulling should be immediately stopped.
And again, it's not an "either / or" situation.
You can stop the bullying from happening, immediately. Which does not necessarily involves punishment, by the way. And you can ALSO work on the root cause of the problem.

Nicolas Abesdris
Family Life Educator

I’m not going to pretend to know everything about parenting, and if another method works and obtains the goal of stopping the bullying immediately and getting to the root of the problem, then by all means, it’s working for that family. Some specific examples may help the original poster. Were not all family life educators, and are for help with the matter. They are obviously at a point where they are looking for suggestions that may be more specific. I know the couple times I have posted with problems, I was looking for more specific information when I was at a loss. Only specifics I had with their situation was to leverage the martial arts instructor as they teach self defense, not how to fight. I am also curious with some examples as I may learn a thing or 2 myself. I’m always open to others suggestions.

 

[parentastic]

&lt;r&gt;&lt;QUOTE author="mjgates;126554"&gt;&lt;s&gt;

&lt;/s&gt;After reading your post, I may of taken the responses as handling the situation too lightly with a gradual process of fixing the issue while the bullying continued, as you may of taken mine as a more harsh approach than intended.&lt;e&gt;

&lt;/e&gt;&lt;/QUOTE&gt; Yes, it is very possible, but we are both adjusting our perception as we write more &lt;E&gt;&lt;/E&gt;&lt;br/&gt;

&lt;QUOTE&gt;&lt;s&gt;

&lt;/s&gt;I don't use force, and I don't use threats. What good is threatening to take an action if you don't actually follow through? &lt;e&gt;

&lt;/e&gt;&lt;/QUOTE&gt; What I am trying to say here, is that if you "warn" a child not to do something, "or else", (such as telling them in advance what the punishment will be, so they don't do something in the first place), it's a threat. &lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;
I have never heard of a parent who uses punishment without also using threats (i.e., the threat of punishment, before an offense).&lt;br/&gt;
But if you do not, then IMO it means that a child may get punished without even knowing in advance what will happen; so either way it seems pretty negative to me. &lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;

&lt;QUOTE&gt;&lt;s&gt;

&lt;/s&gt;At this point, I'm wondering if punishment means belittling a child to some degree in your mind. Taking away video games for a week, giving additional chores, not letting your child play with the other kids outside for a couple days, early bedtime for misbehavior. These are all forms of punishment. Neither involves force or threats.&lt;e&gt;

&lt;/e&gt;&lt;/QUOTE&gt; Without generalizing, I'd say that it is very difficult, if not near impossible, to use a punishment without belittling someone.&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;
By its very nature, punishment is intended as a way to force an unwanted, negative thing upon someone, outside of their own choice. &lt;br/&gt;
It is a use of your power as an adult. Power to restrict action. Power to restrict movement. Power to force a child to go sleep (which is very bad for sleep habits by the way, as it creates a negative association with sleeping and can cause all sort of sleep-related problems).&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;
It causes resentment and makes the child feel powerless and insignificant. &lt;br/&gt;
In addition, if the child would think that a punishment is justified, that would probably mean the child is mature enough not to do it in the first place. Hence, punishment most likely feels unfair for the child. &lt;br/&gt;

&lt;QUOTE&gt;&lt;s&gt;

&lt;/s&gt;I can tell you this, my child beats on another child, he's not coming home to a "let's talk and get to the bottom of this", then back to life as usual.&lt;e&gt;

&lt;/e&gt;&lt;/QUOTE&gt;I will offer an alternative below.&lt;br/&gt;

&lt;QUOTE&gt;&lt;s&gt;

&lt;/s&gt;The other fun activities, not so much for whatever time my wife and I deem appropriate. &lt;e&gt;

&lt;/e&gt;&lt;/QUOTE&gt; Again, let me ask you: what is your goal?&lt;br/&gt;
Is it to have the child learn something and stop his bullying, or is it to make the child feel bad? If you achieve the first objective with fun, is it wrong?&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;
Assuming we agree that both can be distinct things, and it is possible to learn and change our behavior without experiencing something negative (and I will demonstrate how below), then why do we absolutely want to impose something negative?&lt;br/&gt;

&lt;QUOTE&gt;&lt;s&gt;

&lt;/s&gt;Again, not using force or threatening, but in no way will he be rewarded by being allowed to participate in the fun activities. &lt;e&gt;

&lt;/e&gt;&lt;/QUOTE&gt; Let me be clear.&lt;br/&gt;
Any unwanted, unpleasant activity or situation imposed from outside to someone *is* the use of force. It's not always bad, sometimes you have no choice! But let's call a cat a cat. &lt;br/&gt;
Punishment is *always* a use of force.&lt;br/&gt;
Which is why it works so well on the short term on younger kids and so little on the long term and with older kids and adolescents, since your parental power lowers as the child grows.&lt;br/&gt;

&lt;QUOTE&gt;&lt;s&gt;

&lt;/s&gt;it’s important to communicate as to why, as well as sit down and talk about what happened in depth. Try to find out why he/she acted in that manner; discuss why it is not the way to act, and why this kind of action should not happen in the future. A child feeling powerless due to being punished has a lot to do with how it is handed down, not because it is handed down.&lt;e&gt;

&lt;/e&gt;&lt;/QUOTE&gt;I beg to differ.&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;
Any punishment will always generates some feeling of powerlessness. &lt;br/&gt;
If you have truly discussed with your child in a truly open and connected way, then the punishment is counterproductive anyway (and I will have to write a post about why exactly is it counterproductive, but it will take some explaining because it ties in to neuro-biology and how the cognitive functions of the brain works).&lt;br/&gt;
I'll explain how to handle this concretely below.&lt;br/&gt;

&lt;QUOTE&gt;&lt;s&gt;

&lt;/s&gt;Most small time criminals never become big time criminals.&lt;e&gt;

&lt;/e&gt;&lt;/QUOTE&gt;Of course, we totally agree with this.&lt;br/&gt;

&lt;QUOTE&gt;&lt;s&gt;

&lt;/s&gt;In most cases, the punishment did not make the criminal, or even steer them in a direction they weren't already heading on their own.&lt;e&gt;

&lt;/e&gt;&lt;/QUOTE&gt;The point is that the punishment did &lt;B&gt;&lt;s&gt;&lt;/s&gt;nothing&lt;e&gt;&lt;/e&gt;&lt;/B&gt; to prevent it.&lt;br/&gt;

&lt;QUOTE&gt;&lt;s&gt;

&lt;/s&gt;&lt;QUOTE&gt;&lt;s&gt;

&lt;/s&gt;
If treats would work, there would be no crimes and prisons would be empty. If punishment worked, there would be no second offense.&lt;br/&gt;
We know how that works!&lt;br/&gt;
Punishment doesn't teach anything.
&lt;e&gt;

&lt;/e&gt;&lt;/QUOTE&gt;I don't even know what to say to this.&lt;e&gt;

&lt;/e&gt;&lt;/QUOTE&gt;A simple observation. But striking, isn't it?&lt;br/&gt;

&lt;QUOTE&gt;&lt;s&gt;

&lt;/s&gt;Suffer. No. Stop Bullying. That's part of it. Revenge. I would hope not. Teach empathy and compassion. That should be an objective from the start.&lt;e&gt;

&lt;/e&gt;&lt;/QUOTE&gt;Of course it is.&lt;br/&gt;
And yet, if that child is bullying, isn't it a sign that the parent have failed at that job?&lt;br/&gt;
Then whose fault is it?&lt;br/&gt;
And how can you teach empathy while giving a punishment? Doesn't it send exactly the opposite message?&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;
I will push things one step further.&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;
Research has clearly shown that children don't become bullies out of nowhere. Most likely, they are reproducing the patterns of punishment and belittling that are already going on in the family. Bullying is used as a way to &lt;B&gt;&lt;s&gt;&lt;/s&gt;regain &lt;e&gt;&lt;/e&gt;&lt;/B&gt;the power the child thrives to have but cannot have in his family.&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;
Isn't it strange that we then think we are going to solve bullying with the use of &lt;I&gt;&lt;s&gt;<I>&lt;/s&gt;more&lt;e&gt;</I>&lt;/e&gt;&lt;/I&gt; power over that child?&lt;br/&gt;

&lt;QUOTE&gt;&lt;s&gt;

&lt;/s&gt;My kids have never been the bully, but been on the other end.&lt;e&gt;

&lt;/e&gt;&lt;/QUOTE&gt;I have been on the receiving end (being bullied) in a very significant and extreme way as a child when I was in elementary school, so I know a lot about this first hand.&lt;br/&gt;
Believe me, it's tempting to fall into "an eye for an eye" stance.&lt;br/&gt;

&lt;QUOTE&gt;&lt;s&gt;

&lt;/s&gt;We use a combination of communication and punishment, and they understand what they did wrong, why they shouldn’t of done it, and are in agreement in the fact it shouldn’t happen again. Often times, they did not even understand why their actions were wrong to begin with until we discuss.&lt;e&gt;

&lt;/e&gt;&lt;/QUOTE&gt;And yet you think it is normal to punish them anyway? &lt;br/&gt;
For something they didn't even know was wrong, or why it was?&lt;br/&gt;

&lt;QUOTE&gt;&lt;s&gt;

&lt;/s&gt;And how do you hold them accountable?&lt;br/&gt;
They are obviously at a point where they are looking for suggestions that may be more specific.&lt;e&gt;

&lt;/e&gt;&lt;/QUOTE&gt;yes, I know I haven't yet been very specific. Mostly, because it's difficult to summarize the content of my workshops in a few paragraph in an email, when it takes months of practice and several hours a week of training to transmit the idea fully.&lt;br/&gt;
But I'll try.&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;
See my next post for the details!&lt;br/&gt;
&lt;br/&gt;
Nicolas, Family Life Educator&lt;/r&gt;

 

[parentastic]

<U><SIZE size="125">How to handle bullying</SIZE></U>

Instead of punishment, a parent can handle bullying using a combination of <I>active listening</I>, and <I>perspective taking</I>, followed by <I>reparation</I>.

When you learned your child has been bullying someone else, that evening as soon as the child comes back from school, have the child sit down at the kitchen table.
Sit on the other side of the table.

Active listening
Now, ask the child to explain to you everything that happened.
Listen. Try not to interrupt. Reflect back the emotions you have perceived using your own words, abd validate if you guessed right. Use paraphrasing. If there are heavy silences, don't let the child off the hook, but don't pressure the child either. Just let the silences extend awkwardly. Simply listen. Let it out. You can encourage you child to speak by reviewing his day, like a story, and if he doesn't know where to start, you can repeat what you have learned from the teachers.
Don't make an angry face. Don't take an angry attitude. Don't look mad.
Simply, don't let the child off the hook either.
Be open. The discussion will eventually shift from the act to the emotions. Listen to the emotions. Try to understand what was happening. Feelings are always OKAY to express. If that is what you show in all of your being (verbal AND non-verbal), it will come out.

Perspective taking
Children don't know how other people feel unless we help them learn this critical skill. They are naturally egocentric. Was it fun to bully that other child? Did it make you feel powerful? Do you usually NOT feel powerful at home, then? How do you think the other child might feel? Can you recall a time you felt that way too?

The parent can also share stories of when he/she was bullied or when she/he was a bully, and what happened because of that. Share experience.

Reparation and empowerment
Once this is done - and it's okay if it takes a while - you are ready to switch to reparation. Ask the child:
"Alright. So what do we do about this now?"
And let the child come up with a <I>solution</I>.
The solution is not about punishment. It's not about the bully feeling bad or paying for his "crimes"! In fact, the solution is not about the bully at all. It's about the victim. <I>what can be done to make the situation right again?</I>

If the child doesn't know, you can help a little. The reparation can involve excuses, but it can (and should) involve something more, unique and real. It has to come from the child. It has to be sincere. It has to be a true attempt at making things right with the victim. And yes, the victim may not want it. Or the parent's victim may not allow it. But the point is to try, and it's truly the <I>reflection</I> that leads to the solution that really matters, for learning purposes.

Follow through
Once a plan has been agreed on between parent and child, the child has to carry it, possibly with the help of the parent if needed. (as much as possible, without the parent).
Then, every day, when the child comes back home from school, sit down again for a follow up. Did the plan work? what happened? What can we learn about this? How do we revise the plan for tomorrow?
Continue this, day after day, until you feel the situation has been resolved.

None of these steps involve a punishment.
None of these steps needs to be painful or annoying, in fact, sometimes, finding the solution can be fun and feels good. That's the whole point: it's called empowerment. The idea is to switch the thinking. To get the child to feel good, and start a spiral - a pattern - of good acting to replace the old pattern of bad behavior, <I>because if feels good to do so</I>.

I hope this gives a few concrete insights about how this can be handled in an immediate, firm and effective way, without any use of punishment -
and in fact, I grantee, with a LOT more effectiveness than any punishment.

Nicolas, Family Life Educator

 

[mjgates]

Very intriguing perspective. I probably would not of com up with that kind of plan on my own. Although I don't deal with bullying, I'll give it a try the next time one of my kids steps out of line and see how they respond to this method. Thanks for sharing this.

 

[Christopher]

Parentastic is right: the bullying is a symptom of this child's trouble. Yes the bullying must be stopped but even if you are able to somehow force that: you are only treating the symptom, not the disease, so to speak.

The idea of having him write I am not a bully, or anything similar will only serve to reinforce that he is a bully in his subconscious. Whatever we focus on we tend to get more of, not less, that's why they always say "focus on the solution, not the problem." An affirmation to end a smoking habit can never be "I must quit smoking" rather "I am a non smoker."

In very general terms, the person that has very low self worth attempts to get a feeling of value by putting themselves over others whether physically or otherwise. That way they can 'prove' to themselves &amp; the world they are more important then they feel. The challenge becomes a need for even more bullying if they ecer feel any guilt at all for what they do. It can become very much an escalating, self regenerating cycle.

As was also said, the bully often does not truly see others as having feelings, or deserving respect since they feel hurt and disrespected. If the other is dehumanized it allows a total lack of need to feel the person's pain.

You can not fix this without professional help, but the professional may not be able to find a solution without input and participation by family members working in conjunction with them.

A positive result will be worth all the effort it may require, as this will potentially impact many lives over time. Keep up the good fight.

 

[TabascoNatalie]

Everyone parents differently, but I couldn't disagree more with taking a soft approach when a kid is bullying and beating up other kids. The punishment should fit the crime, and for a kid, bullying and beating up other kids should come along with a stiff punishment letting the kid know this is not OK. At what point do we start holding kids accountable for their own actions?

I personally think it goes not just to parents of the bully, but to parents of victim as well.
Some parents are just too strict and too pushy -- so the kid always obeys, never talks back, never defies authority. And then there is another kid who is more dominant, and then becomes "the authority" -- so there you go...
Other parents on the other hand are very proud that their kids are "the leaders".

only physical violence distresses us because we don't want to see it.

 

[SantaClaus]

I think you need to sit with your child and ask him why he does it. Then tell him why bullying is bad... how he will grow up to be somebody nobody will love if he does not change. Doing lines will definitely not help... will only create more resentment

 

[PsychStudent]