Help!...

[bkosmommy]

my 12 year old daughter doesn't turn in her work at school and i don't know what to do. we have tried everything from yelling to spanking her with a belt.
she says she isn't really smart and that she just tests well, but she is in the gifted program! she is almost in sixth grade and she is failing 5th because of all the missing work. what would you do?
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[jsnthree]

my 12 year old daughter doesn't turn in her work at school and i don't know what to do. we have tried everything from yelling to spanking her with a belt.
she says she isn't really smart and that she just tests well, but she is in the gifted program! she is almost in sixth grade and she is failing 5th because of all the missing work. what would you do?
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You really should not spank your child using a belt!! That is considered ABUSE!! I do hope your just trying to get attention from a forum my making that kind of statment.

http://www.softwaresearche.com:arghh:

 

[Trina]

my 12 year old daughter doesn't turn in her work at school and i don't know what to do. we have tried everything from yelling to spanking her with a belt.
she says she isn't really smart and that she just tests well, but she is in the gifted program! she is almost in sixth grade and she is failing 5th because of all the missing work. what would you do?

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I would not spank, especially with a belt. :frown:

It's not uncommon for kids your DD's age to go through this stage. We went through it with my DS (11) last year. We made a strict rule and followed it - NO TV, PC, video games, play dates, etc. until all homework is completed and in his backpack. I didn't take his word for it either. Daily I checked his agenda and teacher's web site to be sure he had finished all assigments, <I>and</I> I checked to be sure he had put his finished work in his backpack. I did this for a month or two, until he had earned my trust back. At first he hated me hovering over him to be sure his work was done, but he knew he had to do it or he wouldn't be allowed the privileges of TV, PC, etc.. This got him into the habit of doing his homework as soon as he gets home from school and then putting it in his backpack right away. I'm proud to say he's doing great this year!

 

[jsnthree]

I have the same problem, my 15 yr old was failing and not doing his homework, I have done the same thing, take away his games, tv, friends being able to visit, Pc, and games. It worked for a while, then he started to fall into this rutine again. So again I had to be the "mean" parent and get him on the right path again. What makes me worried, is that I am his "Step" mom, and I worry about him developing negitive feelings torwards me, I came into his and his sister's lives 2 yrs ago when he was 13 and the girls were almost 2. I have run out of idea's if it keeps happening. Jason helps out as much as he can, but he works 2nd shift and alot of overtime to make ends meet. Jason doesn't get to spend as much time as he wants to with us. That's why I started my buisness online in hopes that I can generate enough so he doesn't have to work overtime.

 

[Kim]

I would not spank, especially with a belt. :frown:

It's not uncommon for kids your DD's age to go through this stage. We went through it with my DS (11) last year. We made a strict rule and followed it - NO TV, PC, video games, play dates, etc. until all homework is completed and in his backpack. I didn't take his word for it either. Daily I checked his agenda and teacher's web site to be sure he had finished all assigments, <I>and</I> I checked to be sure he had put his finished work in his backpack. I did this for a month or two, until he had earned my trust back. At first he hated me hovering over him to be sure his work was done, but he knew he had to do it or he wouldn't be allowed the privileges of TV, PC, etc.. This got him into the habit of doing his homework as soon as he gets home from school and then putting it in his backpack right away. I'm proud to say he's doing great this year!

That's exactly what I would do.

And spanking! NO!!!

 

[Good Wolf]

As Trina stated you need to be more concerned about getting active with their school, helping them with the homework, encouraging them when they do well, and put the damn belt away. Violence does not teach discipline it condones more voilence and breeds contempt.

 

[aliinnc]

You are teaching your child that, when she has a problem with someone, the solution is to hit that person. Would you do a better job at work if your boss hit you with a belt? No, you would quit and probably call the police.

Why do you expect your daughter to feel differently than you? She is a person just like you.

It is your responsibility to parent. Talk to the teachers, help her with her homework, buy a parenting book.

Buy her a journal to record homework in, have the teacher check the journal daily to see if she recorded all the assignments, you check it nightly to make sure all the assignments are completed.

Quiz her before all tests, teach her how to make flashcards to study. Invite friends over to study with her before big tests because studies have shown that this improves test scores. If there are too many distractions at home, take her to the library to do her homework.

Good luck and stop hitting your child.