I am losing my mind. My 11 year old daughter is out of control. She will not take no for an answer and by me saying she will not take no for an answer she makes everyone's life miserable. She is very disrespectful towards me. She back talks and sasses me. When I discipline her she crys and whines and says hurtful things. I don't know what to do. Last night I sent her and her younger sister (8 years old) to their room (they share) for being disrespectful at the dinner table. She was eating with her fingers and mocking me when I told her to use a fork and my 8 year old (who is hyper) kept getting up from the table and wouldn't eat her food. I finally had enough and told them to get up from the dinner table and go to their room. This was after repeatedly telling them to behave. My 11 year old fought with me for 2 hours after that and it finally ended up with me bawling my eyes out and looking like an idiot in front of her. She would not let it drop. She said everything from I am mean, she hates me, she wants to live with her dad, I am not her mother, she has a horrible life and much more. As I was in her room getting the baby (who crawled in while I was trying to reason with her), she threw a stuffed animal as hard as she could at my head. I did end up using a belt on her. I had enough of hearing myself talk and that was the straw that broke the camel's back. Even then she fought back and made this overdramic scene that I hurt her so bad and she was going to call the cops because she had a mark on her leg. I don't know what to do anymore. She has no respect for me or appreciation for what I do. How can I get control of her. I know I am wrong by arguing with her but she keeps on and keeps on and when I tell her to do something she outright refuses to do it. She is only 11 and I can't deal with this for 7 more years. I can't even take her anywhere because it is embarrassing if she doesn't get what she wants or doesn't get her way. It is really bad when her and my 8 year old daughter team up against me. Trust me, I am the lady you see at the restaurant with the bad kids everyone is looking at shaking their heads thinking "she needs to control her kids". I am trying. I know I'm doing something wrong though and I need some advice on what to do right. My 8 year old has started going to counceling for hyperactivity and adhd which is where most of her problems are coming from but I need help with my 11 year old desperately.