How important is good friends...

[Mom2all]

So, before I start let me say that my girl, almost 16, is a dream. She is a A student in advanced classes, does her chores without complaint, helpful, loving, and for the most part doesn't do anything I can complain about. Here is my only concern. Even though she is involved in every club and function the school has, unless its for the school she hardly ever does anything that doesn't involve her Dad or me. In the last year, she's went to the beach once, spent the night at a friends once, and went to a annual cook-out for a friend once. She is a teen age girl who literally talks on the phone to friends for less than 30 minutes a week, if even that. I've encouraged her to invite friends over or make plans with friends but she doesn't seem interested in hanging out with anyone but me. I'm glad she loves to be with me. I really am. But.. all my experience being a teen and raising them says she needs to have someone to vent to and relate to. When I ask her who is her best friend, she says me. Again, I'm honored but concerned that its not "normal" ( whatever normal is) for a girl her age. Any thoughts?

**** back story**** Her blood-mom died from an overdose when she was 12 after abandoning her. Could it be she clings to me because she's scared of losing another Mom?

 

[cybele]

It could be because of that.

She does have friends, yes? She just see's you as her best friend and isnt really the hanging out type? I dont think anything is really wrong with that, she's just in a different place socially.

As long as she is socialising with people her own age, and can maintain those relationships too, I wouldnt be worrying too much.

 

[Mom2all]

I hope so. I almost feel like everything she does at school is not for the social interaction, but because she wants to go to college and all the volunteering looks great for college apps. Her brother has told us she sits with people at lunch and isn't a loner by any means and that makes me feel better. I guess I relate it to the fact that my 2 best friends in school are still 2 people I know I can call and they'd come if I needed them. They know the inside of me and we've taken care of each other in times of crisis. I want her to have that too. Maybe I'm putting to much thought in something that may not be important now in life but later on???

 

[mom2many]

I wouldn't worry to much, my oldest girl is very much a momma's girl. Sure we had a few very ROUGH years, but even during those rough years she enjoyed hanging with me. Her boyfriend finds it funny that the first thing she does in the morning is text me good morning, recently for mothers day she got a tattoo to represent me and let's not forget the big one across her collarbone that says "Mommies Little Monster" which is really a song and a tribute to her dad (it's their song). I bet once she heads off to college, her social life will pick up. For now she is content with her life, and that's not a bad thing.

 

[Mom2all]

Thank you. It makes me feel better. You know sometimes you are so fixated on the children who act out or need attention, that you forget to look at the ones that never cause any reason to worry. I think I'm over thinking to make sure I'm not overlooking!

 

[NancyM]

you know she probably realizes how she lucky she is to have a good mother figure since she's been through so much.

Most of us only hope our kids realize that some day.

I think she's just smart enough to appreciate it and wants you to know how she feels.

 

[Mom2all]

Nancy.. thank you for that. She does tell me that I'm her Mom and her best friend. I love that. I just don't want her to cling to me thinking she has to and miss out on other things in life. I'm gonna be right here no matter what and I want her to have fun while she's young. She actually went away this weekend.. although to her Grandmothers.. hopefully she'll see her cousins!