How much video game/tv time is OK for 7 yos?...

[krissyjo]

I have two boys and 1 girl, all 7. We have a Wii as well as an Xbox 360 and a computer. The kids of course all love their games and tv shows/movies, but I'm finding that they tend to get a little obsessed with wanting to be on them all the time. I try to curb the time they spend on it, especially with one of the boys. He constantly asks to play a video game and when we say no, he literally sits on the stairs and can't come up with a single thing to do - even though there are plenty of toys in his room as well as things outside he can do. When any of the kids are done playing a video game, they'll immediately ask to watch a movie or tv show. I see it as the same thing - staring at a screen.

During the week, we typically limit the kids to 1 hour a day, but in the summer months, they would wake before us and be on it for a couple hours or more. The same thing on the weekends.

My boyfriend doesn't think there's an issue with them spending a few hours a day in front of screens, but I feel it's something that should be more of an "extra" for them instead of an all the time thing. When the twins (the video game obsessed boy and the girl) go to their mother's house (every other weekend) all they do is play video games and watch tv/movies with very little other activity. I know we can't do anything about what they do at their other parent's house, but that makes me want to curb their time during the week and weekends with us even more.

How can we curb the obsession with needing to be in front of a screen all day and how much is too much? On the flipside - how little is too little?

 

[mom2many]

This has become an age old question and I think every family has to figure it out for themselves.

I allow more then others, way more, but I also make sure that there is plenty of outside time. If they chose to sit on the steps and pout...ok, that is there choice but they will go outside and they will not play on any of the systems.

 

[dave]

I agree ^^^^
what about some kind of personality test. I did that with my 4 year old when he we took him to a speech therapist (he turned out not to be overly delayed) And they revealed he loved the outdoors ( i knew that) but that nature walks would be perfect.

I can captivate him now just on going in the backyard to examine leaves and blades of grass.

Find that thing you child loves. maybe its marksmanship, and daddy can take them to a firing range or archery range or magnetic darts, Perhaps nerf wars. also airsoft guns are really popular now and a GREAT physical activity. Thats more for teens addicted to call of duty but it works.

Try to replicate their game in real life as much as possible. If they like RPGs doing live action rpgs at the park(you may even have a local group they can join). If they play racing build a go kart or soapbox racer. Make it fun!

of course this will take alot of work from you and thats the rub.

 

[mesasa1978]

I think there are a lot of parents in this boat, particulary nowadays with so much out there as far as games and tv.

My 10 year old is much like one of your little'uns. He claims he is "bored" and has "nothing to do" even though there are lots of non-screen activities available. I locked his game systems up over the summer to try and increase his motivation to use his imagination and play inside or outside, but for a while, I had no success. Then he discovered army men (yes, the plastic brown and green ones). Now he devotes a lot of hours to building elaborate battlefields and warzones. The hippie peace lover in me cringes, but I'm so glad he's doing something that doesn't involve a screen.

The dad above says to find an interest that captivates the child, and I really do agree that that is important. I think it's also important to model what you hope your child will do. I often have to remind myself to shut the laptop and engage with the family. What's the point of me yelling, "No more screen time!" from behind my computer? It can be a challenge.

 

[parentastic]

Personally, I think what would bother me is much more the constant battering of commercials and brainwashing going on with the TV, the reality shows and the like, than with the use of the screen per say.
I also dislike how children get accustomed to a huge array of stupid choices at their fingertips on TV, while the parents have the increasingly difficult, if not impossible task to filter what is acceptable or not.

On the flip side, I have no problem with movies and TV series, if they are hand picked and played without commercials (like buying specific DVD and such).

As for the computer, and the use of internet, when we studied Family Communication, I learned that the consensus amongst child specialists is that children should not be allowed an individual, network-connected computer directly in their own room, because of the danger of cyber-bullying and cyber-stalking. Instead, a family computer can be placed in a hallway or in a room that is open and used by everyone, with the screen clearly out in the open; and internet can be available for children (both for fun and school work) on <I>that</I> computer.

 

[BayAreaLei]

I have two boys and one of them love screen time and the other does not like to spend too much time on that even he is allowed to. So, I guess it is a personality issue too.

However, I do agree that is not a good idea to let kids who loves screen spend too much time on that. There should be always other alternative choices to screen. E.g.: my older one likes lego would spend hours on it. We will suggest him do that sometimes and he will be happy.

 

[dave]

Personally, I think what would bother me is much more the constant battering of commercials and brainwashing going on with the TV, the reality shows and the like, than with the use of the screen per say.
I also dislike how children get accustomed to a huge array of stupid choices at their fingertips on TV, while the parents have the increasingly difficult, if not impossible task to filter what is acceptable or not.

On the flip side, I have no problem with movies and TV series, if they are hand picked and played without commercials (like buying specific DVD and such).

As for the computer, and the use of internet, when we studied Family Communication, I learned that the consensus amongst child specialists is that children should not be allowed an individual, network-connected computer directly in their own room, because of the danger of cyber-bullying and cyber-stalking. Instead, a family computer can be placed in a hallway or in a room that is open and used by everyone, with the screen clearly out in the open; and internet can be available for children (both for fun and school work) on <I>that</I> computer.

Netflix is your best friend. the children's suggestions are great and i believe there are parental controls.

 

[allegrasworld]

I had no limits on tv time when I was a kid, but those days were so different. I loved playing outside and there were always kids out to play with. These days with busy schedules it seems that there arn't any kids to play with outside. I do kick my kids off the tv and try and get them out and playing.

 

[mom.w.no.kids]

Im in the exact same situation. I think tv time should be an hour during the day and an hour at night before bed, if they're good. My boyfriend thinks tv is fine as long as she's watching something educational... But what 7 yr old does that? She gets so glued to the screen that there have been times that I've walked into her room to talk to her and she doesn't hear me. I get so frustrated with the thing I've taken it out of her room a few times.. not that it lasts very long thanks to her father. I've yet to find a way to eliminate this problem short of getting rid of the tv all together.

I know I wasn't much help in the advise dept, but just know you're not alone with this issue.

 

[parentastic]

I've yet to find a way to eliminate this problem short of getting rid of the tv all together.

Sounds like an excellent solution to me...

 

[sweettartsarah]

There are 5 kids in my household, and we have no television or video game systems. We do have a dvd player and they are allowed to watch a movie at bedtime on non school nights. The kids are very busy with activities and homework in the evenings during the week. On weekends, they have friends over, we go on outings and take trips, and spend time with other families. The older girls each have a DS, but they don't play it very much. All the kids play on the computer (One computer, in the livingroom) some, with the older ones knowing how to access music videos and favorite television shows. And they play video games and watch TV at their friends houses, so it's not like they have no media exposure. I know that this would not work for everyone, but to anyone who says it's impossible to raise a kid without TV or video games in your home, our family is living proof that it is not impossible. It is possible and our kids don't really miss it. My step daughter moved in with us last November, coming from an enviornment of unlimited TV. After a few weeks, she said "Hey Mom, we have no TV here, huh? Well, I think it's kind of better."

 

[Bazam]

I grew up with video games but wasn't allowed to play them unless all of my homework and chores were done. The better grades I got and the better I was at doing my chores, the more game time I got. I was also made to balance game time out with outdoor or physical activity.

Looking back on it all, I had a very balanced childhood and I try to do the same with my children. My 12 year old and 8 year old both LOVE gaming. My 12 year old loves XBox and my 8 year old daughter loves PC Games.

I find that using the same methods that were put upon me as a child work great with them. The more behaved they are, the more game time they get. They both still find time to get exercise swimming, running, bikes, and so on. I guess I lucked out in this department.

 

[RegalSin]

There are 5 kids in my household, and we have no television or video game systems.

Good they will discover this media on their own. I knew a football guy who had all the game systems early.

We do have a dvd player and they are allowed to watch a movie at bedtime on non school nights.

That is okay, but eventually they are going to get smart.

The older girls each have a DS, but they don't play it very much. All the kids play on the computer (One computer, in the livingroom) some, with the older ones knowing how to access music videos and favorite television shows.

Their is your mistake. The computer is a gold mine for all media types. They can listen, watch, and see anything they want to. Even play any game type they want to without any stopping. Even on the phones they can do this. Even talk to anybody they want to. They will learn how to dodge you even more.

Block youtube, facebook, and other media websites they visit for awhile and watch for any change.

Even if they have high grades, they could be viewing something you would never let them see. They are young but you never know.

And they play video games and watch TV at their friends houses, so it's not like they have no media exposure.

That is where they learn everything else you don't want to let them know at all. School = teacher = peer = friends = the world = everything. All influences, but you will never know until it is too late.

After a few weeks, she said "Hey Mom, we have no TV here, huh? Well, I think it's kind of better."

Just say to her. "This is how we roll" no television and no videogames. Your welcome to make videogames but you can't play em.

 

[pbooker]

Hopefully your kids won't disappear off to friends houses where they do have access

More seriously I agree with RegalSin. To a great extent kids are becoming incredibly computer and Internet literate. I agree protection is very much needed (as portrayed very disturbingly and effectively in the Clive Owen movie "Trust" - not his typical role!).

So if you keep your children away from some technology you may end up putting them at a disadvantage. Then there's the forbidden fruit syndrome. In some market research around music I worked on last year we encountered a student who had lived in Eastern Europe where her father had banned her from listening to music. She had moved to the UK and discovered the forbidden fruit of music and it became one of the most fulfilling parts of her life.

As in all things balance. But that said, they're you're children and do what you think's right.

 

[Stepmom2be]

O loves playing the Wii, and he has Netflix connected to it so he watches Phineas and Ferb a lot too.

In the summer, it gets to be 115 degrees here, so there isnt much to do.

In the fall/winter, usually we get home from school, and he eats a snack while watching some TV. Then we go out, (Park, one of those places with all the inflatables, my sister in laws house, or just in the street riding his bike and scooter,) for a while. Then I go inside to make dinner and usually he will watch TV but his game room is across from the living room with double doors so he will watch TV but will be coloring, or playing with his legos.

He is 7, and yeah sometimes we have to stay on him to not sit in front of it all day, but usually when I come up with something else to do, he's okay with turning it off.

 

[Sallyskidshop]

Granddaughter watches limited TV. After she has done her homework she's allowed to watch TV then about 1/2 hour after dinner. Weekends are more relaxed.

As for the computer. I drew up a schedule of the days &amp; number of hours she's allowed to be on it. There is absolutely no arguments and has created a less stressful household.

Perhaps you might like to set the timer on your oven. Explain to your children when it goes off, then they have to stop playing XBox games or watching TV &amp; it means doing something else. I used the time on the stove to get our granddaughter into bed when she was little, saved arguments. Could work, but you have to stay firm.

 

[keadavisi]

When I was growing up, it was an hour of TV and an hour of video games a day. Maybe a little more television on the weekends. But I had to turn it off and find another activity to do after an hour. With my own kids, I allow a lot more than this. I think anything is acceptable as long as they have equal time away from the TV and video games (and cell phones and iPods). If they act like playing video games is more of a right than a treat, I would say they're playing too much.

 

[Sight Words]

Try spending the time with them and they won't be at the TV.

Give them as much time as you give your beau and you will soon learn why they are so preoccupied with the screen and the PEOPLE on it.

 

[menno]

TV is easy.. it helps me doing the stuff i need without needing to entertain our little boy at the same time. And sometimes this is really helpful.

but i noticed that it can make (me) lazy too.. instead of putting my energy in my son i just let him watch tv.

This is ok too, sometimes. But i prefer to use tv as little as possible and do the 'entertainment' myself.

 

[AndrewSr]

I have two boys in my household, 8 and 3 respectively. About a year and a half ago my wife and I began to really take a closer notice of the consumer-oriented nature of pretty much all TV programming. Everything you see on the tube is ultimately designed to hold your attention long enough to sell you some sort of product, service. Sometimes the advertisements are direct via commercials, sometimes they are more subtle via product placements in the shows, themselves.

TV creates a burning desire to obtain products we want, which we confuse for need, due to the success of the advertising.

The underlying agenda of TV became quite apparent when the oldest would watch seemingly harmless, age-appropriate cartoons or sitcoms and end up begging for a new toy or game he saw an advertisement for. This trend got progressively worse until we eventually decided to literally cut the cord providing the cable TV feed. This was one of the best decisions we ever made for our family as a whole, not just the kids.

Its amazing how much more lucid my thoughts are as a result of abstaining from all TV programming. My thoughts are my own. My life does not revolve around what sports team won or loss, or what some reality TV character did on the last episode of Dog The Bounty Hunter.

My family all reads significantly more books now (except the 3 year old); we are more content with what we currently have, instead of buying into the constant pursuit of more, more, more; we have grown spiritually -- not to be confused with religiously -- which I directly attribute to us having clearer minds; we have gained greater insights into how the world really works; etc etc.

We do still permit DVD viewing in the house and do not place any static time limit on viewing those. If we feel the kids have been spending too much time watching movies, we simply redirect. This is gauged on a day-to-day basis.