How to behave towards two year old child on the first meeting....

[rockit]

[FONT=&quot]Hello, please need some advice: How to behave towards two year old child on the first meeting.[/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot]Sorry if being naive.[/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot]Have no children.[/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot]1. It's gonna my first meeting with two year old son of my new girlfriend.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]2. I wanna make good impression, on her and her son.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]3. How to make a connection with the Chlid? Is it possible during the first meeting? [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]4. What not to do? [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]5. Should I buy him any gift/toy/candy?[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]6. Should I try to play with Him? How?[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]7. What about touching and kissing the Child?[/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot]Thank you for your advice in advance.[/FONT]

 

[John Shields]

With just a girlfriend (not a wife for fiancee) someone can correct me if I'm wrong but what I would do is ask the other party about the kid. I'd try and learn as much as I could so when I saw them, I could connect with them. Two years old is pretty impressionable. You don't want to appear one way now and something else later. Gifts I wouldn't think are good because it gives the wrong impression (everytime you see someone they'll give you something).

I wouldn't get too physical either. It's not your kid and you're not exactly in the position to become the father just yet. That's my opinion anyway. I would just act myself.

 

[friend]

Show them this...

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[Shiroi Tora]

I would talk it out first with the mother. I also let the child always come to me if he choses to do so. I always try to initiate eye contact...sometimes animal noises to attract his attention...but always out of arms reach. This lets the child know it is his decision to go to you...it then becomes non-threatening.

I would just meet with him...if a gift is given (with mother's approval)...I would give it to the mother to present to him the first time...unless she wanted me to present it to him. I also tend to agree with the above poster concerning gifts...make sure you don't do it all the time...it would make it awkward when you stop. The child will think that you no longer like him. I would rather let the mother receive the credit for the present with her child...the mother will appreciate you doing it...any gift for her child...is a gift for her.

Also be aware of sudden movements or loud noises...a two year old sometimes has stranger anxiety...that is normal. He may cry because he doesn't know you and you will be in his area of comfort and safety. Allow him to warm up to you in his own time. When he sees you are a friend of his mother...he will deem you as safe...with familiarity.

 

[momat18]

yes, you should get a toy for him. and be friendly towards the child before trying to touch him and kiss him. he may be shy but you should try to be friendly first.

 

[mesasa1978]

First off, let me say "good for you" to date a woman who has children. Even in our fairly "modern" society, single moms can have it pretty rough.

As for meeting her two year old. I would say to play it by ear. That sounds hard, I know, since it's an intimidating situation. With regard to gift-giving, I agree with some of the other replies... I'm not a fan of using gifts to garner affection. And with regard to hugs/kisses, I would definitely wait on this. Not only may it be "too much too soon," your girlfriend might not be ready for it, either.

When you meet the little one, give him or her a big smile and say "Hi there, little fella." And then let the little one decide for him/herself. If you try "too hard" to be friendly, you might frighten him.

Also, trying to connect with a child is a challenge. Just like adults, children need time to warm up to a new person. Even if your girlfriend's child seems standoffish or frightened of you now, he will probably become happier around you in time. Don't put too much significance on this first meeting. Be patient and kind and build on positives.

I wish you the best of luck!

 

[parentastic]

1. It's gonna my first meeting with two year old son of my new girlfriend. 2. I wanna make good impression, on her and her son. 3. How to make a connection with the Chlid? Is it possible during the first meeting?

You don't try to make a connection with a 2 years old.
You let the 2 years old make a connection with you.

[FONT="]4. What not to do? [/FONT][FONT="]7. What about touching and kissing the Child?[/FONT]

Don't force your presence. Don't interact with the child when he doesn't want to. Don't touch the child yet. You are a stranger to him. Don't kiss the child either.

[FONT=&quot]5. Should I buy him any gift/toy/candy?[/FONT]

I wouldn't. The child might like it, but for the mother, it might feel as if you are trying to bribe your way into the boy's feelings.

[FONT=&quot]6. Should I try to play with Him? How?[/FONT]

If the child wants to play with you, then yes. If not, don't force it.

Here is what to do:

<LIST>

• 
  <LI>
• Smile a lot. Children reacts to non verbal and smiling is the best signal you can send that you appreciate both his presence and his mother's presence.</LI>
  <LI>
• Look at the child in the eye, but not too long. Simply don't avoid his gaze and don't force yours too long. Basically, act just like you would do if the child was older, or was a friend of your wife: act friendly, but don't over do it. When you look in the child's direction, don't look above the child. Look at the child, frankly, and smile.</LI>
  <LI>
• Don't ignore the child. If he speaks to his mom while you talk, stop talking and listen to him, as if the child was integrated into a conversation with the 3 of you. Treat him as a full participant in your interactions. Don't position yourself as an outsider in their conversation but don't position him as an outsider to your conversations with her mom.</LI>
  <LI>
• Finally, make sure you interact clearly with his mom and that he sees how the mother reacts to you. The more clear it will be that the mom likes and you, smiles and behaves in a friendly way with you, the safer you become in the child's eyes.</LI>

</LIST>
If you do this, the rest will come naturally.

Nicolas, Family Life Educator.

 

[allegrasworld]

And if all else fails, be sure to have a lollipop in your back pocket.

 

[dave]

find out what they like and buy it. candy helps too as they said ^^