Hello everyone.
My name is Zahida, a 25 year old female from Malaysia.
I have been writing a parenting book for about a year. Now i have the final manuscript in my hand i am sort of debating whether my book should go out to see the light or not. As such i would like to receive feedbacks from members of this forum ( you're kind feedback is really appreciated, God bless you)
The reason why i decided to write a parenting book, even when i am not a parent yet myself is because of the huge emotional pain and scars that stems from my rough childhood. Frankly speaking, comparing to other young adults my age i am really blessed - at the age of 25, i have a stable job after graduation, no student loans to be paid (national scholarship student)- my exterior looks very fine and well ahead from some of young adults my age . but on the inside, i am struggling in dealing with my emotional trauma and pain that i had from childhood. it had affects me severely and my problems with my dad hasnt yet stopped - i continue to run away from my problems until this very day.
I truly wish that NO ONE after me should feels how i feel -my pain, that is what propelled me to write this book at the first place. For me, my father means well, but he just didnt know which way to approach a subject - hence the hitting, yelling, sarcasm, all sorts of emotional, mental and physical abuse that is running in our family.
All of this would contribute to parental estrangement one day and when it happens, it is parent's side who would suffer tremendously. Too many time, the parent cannot see this thing is happening, even under his very nose. Children who divorced their parents has already made the decision long time ago. Estranged parents would often cried, feeling at loss of what had they done that would deserve such estrangement (most of them are blind to what they had did), and regret will eat their soul until the day they die.
Some of them reconciled and has a happy ending, but most of parent's fail to reconcile - the child's pain is too deep to even brought it to light for discussion. Glass has already shattered, there is no use to glue it together - you're only hurting your hands in the process.
Because of the amount of pain that me & my father had inflicted on each other, i decided to wrote a book on how to prevent parental estrangement & strengthen relationships with your strong-willed young adults. Strong-willed child is generally tough to raise. In my observation, everything starts with a fight - a fight can spiralling down, leading matter from bad to worse, and therefore my book is focusing on how to prevent fight first by understanding the temperament d& mindset differences that could lead to fight. too many misunderstanding has led to fight - by coming to understanding about differences in personality of child & his mindset, it should lessen the frequent of fight in household.
in the next chapter i talk about 8 psychological wounds that parents subconsciously transferred to their child, despite their very best intention. Parents are unawarely giving their children a psychological wound when they do these 8 things. Some of it could lead to a fight in a household. I also wrote on the alternative ways for this 8 mistakes. i hope that future parents who read my book can avoid these 8 invisible parental mistakes, and use the alternative ways to build their child becoming the best human being they can be.
next chapter, i wrote about 7 mental blocks a parent have that could prevent them from being a good parent & way to build himself - i was aware that my own father are living inside an invisible prison in his head, and the impact it has on his parenting style. And so based on my personal experience, I talk about parenting based on fear for example, the impact, and what to do about it. fear to send your son to pursue his degree overseas for example, because you're afraid bad things could happen to him - i talk about how this fear isnt based on reality, it's nonexistent but inside your brain, and i talk how it could cripple your child's potential. (also the solution to all this mindblocks)
next chapter i talk about the proper way of building your child & strengthening relationships with your strong-willed child. this is different age, what use to works in the past rarely works with strong-willed adult, generation Y that is fiercely independent and competitive in this fast pacing world. i talk about which button that fires them up and which is a turned off for them, and i hope with this understanding parents can build their child the proper way.
My book is about 210 pages. I look forward to receive replies and comments from fellow parents here whether this book would be beneficial to parenting community and whether this book should go published or not. I am not a psychologist nor a parenting expert, and sometimes i do doubt myself what credibility that i possess to write a parenting book. Fellow members, please be the judge >.<
Hopefuly this book is helpful to parents worldwide, that is my wish. The pain that me and my father had felt in our relationships is preventable - if only parents know how.
last but not least - Be the one who leaves a mark on your child when you leave this world, never a scar.
Thank you.
My name is Zahida, a 25 year old female from Malaysia.
I have been writing a parenting book for about a year. Now i have the final manuscript in my hand i am sort of debating whether my book should go out to see the light or not. As such i would like to receive feedbacks from members of this forum ( you're kind feedback is really appreciated, God bless you)
The reason why i decided to write a parenting book, even when i am not a parent yet myself is because of the huge emotional pain and scars that stems from my rough childhood. Frankly speaking, comparing to other young adults my age i am really blessed - at the age of 25, i have a stable job after graduation, no student loans to be paid (national scholarship student)- my exterior looks very fine and well ahead from some of young adults my age . but on the inside, i am struggling in dealing with my emotional trauma and pain that i had from childhood. it had affects me severely and my problems with my dad hasnt yet stopped - i continue to run away from my problems until this very day.
I truly wish that NO ONE after me should feels how i feel -my pain, that is what propelled me to write this book at the first place. For me, my father means well, but he just didnt know which way to approach a subject - hence the hitting, yelling, sarcasm, all sorts of emotional, mental and physical abuse that is running in our family.
All of this would contribute to parental estrangement one day and when it happens, it is parent's side who would suffer tremendously. Too many time, the parent cannot see this thing is happening, even under his very nose. Children who divorced their parents has already made the decision long time ago. Estranged parents would often cried, feeling at loss of what had they done that would deserve such estrangement (most of them are blind to what they had did), and regret will eat their soul until the day they die.
Some of them reconciled and has a happy ending, but most of parent's fail to reconcile - the child's pain is too deep to even brought it to light for discussion. Glass has already shattered, there is no use to glue it together - you're only hurting your hands in the process.
Because of the amount of pain that me & my father had inflicted on each other, i decided to wrote a book on how to prevent parental estrangement & strengthen relationships with your strong-willed young adults. Strong-willed child is generally tough to raise. In my observation, everything starts with a fight - a fight can spiralling down, leading matter from bad to worse, and therefore my book is focusing on how to prevent fight first by understanding the temperament d& mindset differences that could lead to fight. too many misunderstanding has led to fight - by coming to understanding about differences in personality of child & his mindset, it should lessen the frequent of fight in household.
in the next chapter i talk about 8 psychological wounds that parents subconsciously transferred to their child, despite their very best intention. Parents are unawarely giving their children a psychological wound when they do these 8 things. Some of it could lead to a fight in a household. I also wrote on the alternative ways for this 8 mistakes. i hope that future parents who read my book can avoid these 8 invisible parental mistakes, and use the alternative ways to build their child becoming the best human being they can be.
next chapter, i wrote about 7 mental blocks a parent have that could prevent them from being a good parent & way to build himself - i was aware that my own father are living inside an invisible prison in his head, and the impact it has on his parenting style. And so based on my personal experience, I talk about parenting based on fear for example, the impact, and what to do about it. fear to send your son to pursue his degree overseas for example, because you're afraid bad things could happen to him - i talk about how this fear isnt based on reality, it's nonexistent but inside your brain, and i talk how it could cripple your child's potential. (also the solution to all this mindblocks)
next chapter i talk about the proper way of building your child & strengthening relationships with your strong-willed child. this is different age, what use to works in the past rarely works with strong-willed adult, generation Y that is fiercely independent and competitive in this fast pacing world. i talk about which button that fires them up and which is a turned off for them, and i hope with this understanding parents can build their child the proper way.
My book is about 210 pages. I look forward to receive replies and comments from fellow parents here whether this book would be beneficial to parenting community and whether this book should go published or not. I am not a psychologist nor a parenting expert, and sometimes i do doubt myself what credibility that i possess to write a parenting book. Fellow members, please be the judge >.<
Hopefuly this book is helpful to parents worldwide, that is my wish. The pain that me and my father had felt in our relationships is preventable - if only parents know how.
last but not least - Be the one who leaves a mark on your child when you leave this world, never a scar.
Thank you.