So, not saying that I necessarily agree, but I am taking an assessment class at Cleveland State University and my professor gave us an article regarding the types of praise that we give our children.
This article stated that we actually put our children at a disadvantage by saying things like "you are smart" or "you are pretty". Instead we should praise thier efforts. "I praise you for your efforts on...", "I can see that you really worked hard on...," "I can tell you put alot of thought into...".
The article says that when you tell your children that they are smart that they get the mindset that they are smart, because that is what they have always been told. Therefore they do not put in effort when it is required because they are already smart. When they do not succeed at something automatically, they become discouraged because they do not understand why, since they are supposed to be smart based on what we (thier parents) have always told them.
Sorry this is so long, just wanted to see what everyone else had to say about this. Steve and I have discussed it some, I am quite sure he will chime in at some point and share his feelings on this.
This article stated that we actually put our children at a disadvantage by saying things like "you are smart" or "you are pretty". Instead we should praise thier efforts. "I praise you for your efforts on...", "I can see that you really worked hard on...," "I can tell you put alot of thought into...".
The article says that when you tell your children that they are smart that they get the mindset that they are smart, because that is what they have always been told. Therefore they do not put in effort when it is required because they are already smart. When they do not succeed at something automatically, they become discouraged because they do not understand why, since they are supposed to be smart based on what we (thier parents) have always told them.
Sorry this is so long, just wanted to see what everyone else had to say about this. Steve and I have discussed it some, I am quite sure he will chime in at some point and share his feelings on this.