Introduction and departure....

Tamarindo

Junior Member
Jan 8, 2012
6
0
0
Hi,

I've joined this site because I have a parenting issue I need help with. It appears that I need to have a "post count of 5" to create a new thread.

Goodbye site with ridiculous restrictions.
 

mom2many

Super Moderator
Jul 3, 2008
7,542
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melba, Idaho
Okay, goodbye. It's really not that hard to help out 5 other people, but if they are not worth your time. Then I guess it could go the other way, so we wouldn't want to waist our time.
 

K_Stepmom2b

PF Enthusiast
Jan 2, 2012
164
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CA
if someone has that hard of a time with just posting of helpful advice, i can only imagine how it can be with children.
 

Tamarindo

Junior Member
Jan 8, 2012
6
0
0
Thank you for the replies everyone.

I understand now that you are not open to assisting others who not already existing, contributing members, as there is an underlying belief that people will not give back unless coerced to doing so.

You may want to post a disclaimer that new users with serious, pressing issues, such as abuse, or post-partum, may want to go elsewhere, as they are obligated to help others before receiving such support themselves.

After all, the books must balance.
 

Xero

PF Deity
Mar 20, 2008
15,219
1
0
36
PA
See! That's two out of five. That's not so hard, is it? :) You'll get there, don't worry!
 

bssage

Super Moderator
Oct 20, 2008
6,536
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Iowa
Nice Xero

Good thing your issue is not cutting into the time available for you to check responses and complain about a rule designed to keep spammers and bots off of a website.

I kinda feel privileged that you hold us in such a high regard that you continue to check for replies knowing how busy your schedule must be. Not having the two minutes it would take to make a couple word responses to post.

I don't know what we were thinking. We figured you would be here sooner or later. Realizing you would not have time to read the rules or view older post and see if your issue had been already addressed. I was trying to wait by my computer as not to further delay any resolution to your problem.

Here is your disclaimer. I highlighted the necessary parts so you would not have to waste a bunch of time reading them all.

<U>Rules and Guidelines - READ BEFORE POSTING

</U>
1. No advertising.
No posting or PMing to advertise products, services, other websites, affiliate or referral links. Do not advertise in your sig. You can put a url in the Home Page field of your profile.

2. Do not post content that would be inappropriate for minors.
If the authorities would call it illegal, it's not allowed here. No nude or sexually explicit images. Adult conversations and graphic descriptions of sex acts have their place on another forum.

3. No trolling. No personal attacks.
"I disagree with you and/or what you do. I would do..." = NOT a Personal Attack.
"You're a terrible awful really bad person for...!" = Personal Attack
Speak to people the way you would want to be spoken to.
Posting threads in a lame attempt to rile up the parents does not make you internet cool.


4. No crossposting.
Please don't post the same thing in more than one subforum.

5. Don't bump dead threads.
Do not reply to threads that are over 30 days from the last post.
It pushes out current threads where people currently want your advice and support. People aren't still looking for your advice 6 months later. Honest.

6. Credit where credit is due.
If you are posting something you have not personally written or created, link us to where you got it.

7. Give and Take
Nobody likes the guy who shows up just to ask the question and never post again.
Likewise, this isn't your blog. Don't post just to tell everybody else what they need to do.
A forum is a community. Conversations are better when they're not one sided.


8. Use the report and ignore buttons.
Is there someone causing a problem? Let the mods know by using the report button.
Someone isn't breaking any rules but is driving you so crazy you can't hold your tongue? Stick them on your ignore list before you're the one in trouble.

9. Respect your mods.
Don't insult or antagonize the moderation team. They volunteer their time to make this a great place. <U>If you disagree with a moderation decision, you may send a respectful private message or email to one or all the moderators expressing your concerns.</U>
<U>Do NOT write to the mods saying "Well YOU should do X so that I don't have to read and follow the rules! </U>Your infraction hurts my feelings!" <U>You're a grown up, you can follow the rules</U>. If you were naughty own up, move on, and do better next time.


10. Stay on topic.
This is a parenting forum. Stay relevant. If you're not interested in talking about parenting, there are lots of other forums out there for you to pick from.
The owners of this forum have a variety of forums to compliment ParentingForums.org. Those forums have their own set of guidelines and some of them allow a far greater latitude in what is considered acceptable than what is permitted here. If you feel a need at times to express yourself in ways outside of this forum's guidelines, check out one of Crowdgather's other forums.
 
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singledad

PF Addict
Oct 26, 2009
3,380
0
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South Africa
Tamarindo said:
You may want to post a disclaimer that new users with serious, pressing issues, such as abuse, or post-partum, may want to go elsewhere, as they are obligated to help others before receiving such support themselves.
Well, maybe.

Look, I don't agree with the five-post rule, mostly because it results a lot of meaningless "me too" posts on old threads from newbies, but seriously - is posting five one-liners too much to ask if you expect people to put time and effort into they can't really spare into helping you with your issues? We are not a hot-line, you know, we are an internet COMMUNITY. Its not about books balancing. The simple fact is that if everyone had your attitude of refusing to help others before they have received support, there'd be no one here to give you support. Think about it.

As an aside - I've also been noticing lately that one can easily tell if a person will stay on the forum after the conclusion of their initial thread, by looking at the quality of their first 5 posts. Those who post meaningless one-liners, or put the whole story in their intro thread, never hang around to help others. My guess is, you won't either. So really, why should we bother with people who just take what they can and leave without making an effort to return the favor?

PS: For post-partum, contact a doctor.
For abuse - if its yourself, go to a woman's shelter. If it's a child, call CPS. You'll get much better support and advice there than anywhere on the internet.
 

bssage

Super Moderator
Oct 20, 2008
6,536
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Iowa
singledad said:
Well, maybe.

Look, I don't agree with the five-post rule, mostly because it results a lot of meaningless "me too" posts on old threads from newbies,
And we Mods agree also. To the point that we have been working on another system that would accomplish the same mission without all the unnecessary posting. We should be able to roll it out soon.

Its there to keep the bots and spammers away. Without something we are inundated with stuff that has COMPLETELY FILLED THE SERVER at times causing the site to go down.

At this point it is a necessary evil.

Really its a bigger pain for us modding than you know (the 5 post rule). Causing a lot of old thread bumping and a minimum of 6 posts to delete when we do find a spammer.
 
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NancyM

PF Addict
Jul 2, 2010
2,186
0
0
New York
Tamarindo

Sorry to hear your dismay about the site. I hope you stick around and give us another chance as there are many people on this site who do care about how you feel and are really caring.

I don't agree with the rule either but, You don't have to make those 5 post 'helping posts' expecially if your not in the right frame of mind to give advice, even a simple response to someone else's post will do.

Hope your not suffering from post partum or any other type of depression but if you are than write a few more posts and join us. Just take what you need from the posters, and ignore what you don't. Sometimes that's what works best.

Good luck to you.
 

bssage

Super Moderator
Oct 20, 2008
6,536
0
0
58
Iowa
Tamarindo said:
You may want to post a disclaimer that new users with serious, pressing issues, such as abuse, or post-partum, may want to go elsewhere, as they are obligated to help others before receiving such support
Pretty sure SD was referring to this
 

Dadu2004

PF Visionary
May 16, 2008
7,272
0
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Cleveland, OH
bssage said:
And we Mods agree also. To the point that we have been working on another system that would accomplish the same mission without all the unnecessary posting. We should be able to roll it out soon.

Its there to keep the bots and spammers away. Without something we are inundated with stuff that has COMPLETELY FILLED THE SERVER at times causing the site to go down.

At this point it is a necessary evil.

Really its a bigger pain for us modding than you know (the 5 post rule). Causing a lot of old thread bumping and a minimum of 6 posts to delete when we do find a spammer.
As a former mod, I highly agree with this. You have no clue how much of a pain in the @$$ it is sometimes to moderate this site. You have to constantly weed through spammers and legitimate posters. Unfortunately, until proven otherwise, I learned to assume everyone is a spammer....
 

parentastic

PF Fiend
Jul 22, 2011
1,602
0
0
Canada
Tamarindo said:
Thank you for the replies everyone.
I understand now that you are not open to assisting others who not already existing, contributing members, as there is an underlying belief that people will not give back unless coerced to doing so.
You may want to post a disclaimer that new users with serious, pressing issues, such as abuse, or post-partum, may want to go elsewhere, as they are obligated to help others before receiving such support themselves.
I think that, beyond the idea of helping others, the main idea of asking for 5 posts before you can start a new thread is to prevent automated bots and spamming programs to invade the side with new fake threads containing adds and advertisements (when it's not even porn).
It's nothing personal, Tamarindo. It's a safety precaution to prevent the site from being ruined by spammers.

I understand that when a parent has a truly pressing matter going on, and are seeking this community in order to get help, it may not be the best of time to ask for you to help others first.
As Singledad was saying, this rule results in many people posting some useless "me too" 2-words posts in existing thread only so they can post their new thread. Not an ideal situation, I'd think, but there is no perfect way to handle this.

I have also seen many people like you with pressing matter actually posting their problem straight into the introduction forum, even if they aren't supposed to... and in most cases, they are being listened to and helped anyway, because people do understand.
Sadly, many chose not to come back and contribute once their problem is solved. But hey, we do what we can.

Why don't you post your situation and see if someone can help? 5 posts isn't a lot. You can easily get your five posts simply by introducing who you are (which you should do before asking for help anyway, because otherwise how can we help you without background?) and responding to people's welcome just a few times...

What do you prefer - a cold and fake site where you can post your problem immediately but nobody cares, or a true virtual community where, yes, people would rather get to know you first, but they will truly care?
The choice is yours.

Should you decide to stay anyway, welcome. :)
 

Xero

PF Deity
Mar 20, 2008
15,219
1
0
36
PA
For those who have genuine (not asinine) concerns over the five post rule - we are actually working with the administrators right now to have it removed. We are not a big fan of it either. Thank you for not being childish about it, like some people. ;) Hopefully it should be gone soon.
 

mom2many

Super Moderator
Jul 3, 2008
7,542
0
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51
melba, Idaho
Xero said:
See! That's two out of five. That's not so hard, is it? :) You'll get there, don't worry!
LMAO!!!! I dang near spit my dinner at the computer!

We all agree the 5 post rule is a pain....a HUGE pain. For now though, it is what it is.
 

singledad

PF Addict
Oct 26, 2009
3,380
0
0
52
South Africa
NancyM said:
I'm not sure how to interpret this?
I believe that for both those issues, one needs professional help, not merely support, however well meaning, from an internet forum.

bssage said:
And we Mods agree also. To the point that we have been working on another system that would accomplish the same mission without all the unnecessary posting. We should be able to roll it out soon.
I understand the reason for it. I've always believed there must be a better way, though, so I'm glad to hear you guys are working on it. Thanks :)