Involvement...

[unmanaged]

I guess this may not be quite a debate question, so if someone thinks it should be moved please do so, but I think it could turn into a little debate. How involved are you in your kids lives? What do they think about it? What do YOU think about it when you take a step back? Hope people have some interesting feedback.

P.S. As a side note, it might be interesting to say how involved your kids life are in yours, do they talk to you of their own accord constantly, do projects with you, etc.

 

[ntbuddy]

I feel I'm too far out of my kids lives, and the wife as well. We've made this the year for us as we've all done our own thing. It's hard to get back involved as I know Dana sees it as me just trying to make her and the kids happy. I don't know if she thinks I'm sincere or not and two days ago I told her that I knew I was sincere in my actions.

I see a lot of problems with my kids that is due to my lack of involvement and also due to my lack of being more reactive rather than involved and a better listener for them.

My kids come to me and everytime they ask and I think hey I'm busy I think that you know they're asking or saying something for a reason. It may not seem like a good reason at the moment but in the big scheme of things to them it's highly important. In the past month I've learned that how the involvement has helped improve me as a person. It's amazing how much someone so young can help you. I've learned a lot in life but I'm still learning on a day-to-day basis and it's due to my kids showing their love and it's even more important as I have a very caring partner who supports me in wanting to be more involved with the family rather than working all of the time.

So in a nutshell, I'm not involved enough, but knowing this is the first step and the second step is acting and doing something to it as having both parents involved in a positive manner will result in children that become superior results (IMO).

 

[Teresa]

I feel that I am pretty involved in my daughter's life (the youngest is the only one still living at home). She tells me about things going on in her group of friends, and in her classes, etc. We talk every day...and she will initiate it as often as I do, if not more. I go to events with her, we go to lunch together, go shopping together, etc.

 

[Kaytee]

I'm VERY involved in my child's life but she is 2

 

[twistertiger]

im not sure if my two eldest kids want me to be involved in their life they have their own life to work with. some times they need help but are too proud to ask for it. my youngest however is a nightmere. she interupts my work constantly to spend time with her. she has a never quenching thirst for attention and is seems like whatever i do i just cant spend enough time that she feels satisfied.

 

[ljmahr]

I am very involved in my children's lives. We still sit and eat dinner all together everynight. That is the time we usually talk about our days the most. After we clean up and everyone gets bathed and showered then we sit down and play games or read or watch tv or talk. I am sure this will all change when they get older but hopefully alot of it will stay the same.

 

[musicmom]

Let's just say........they'd still be attached if someone didn't cut the cord lol

 

[musicmom]

I am very involved in my children's lives. We still sit and eat dinner all together everynight. That is the time we usually talk about our days the most. After we clean up and everyone gets bathed and showered then we sit down and play games or read or watch tv or talk. I am sure this will all change when they get older but hopefully alot of it will stay the same.

Wow that's really great you do that. I take it all in right now while they are all little too. I know things change and I am not looking forward to them being teenagers and going their own way.
Alot of parents do not have dinner together. My best friend said to me "I really like how every night you make dinner and you all sit together" I was taken back a bit because I really thought everyone did that. Her kids are 17,14,6,5 She makes an effort now to do that. Bless her heart.

 

[unmanaged]

I think eating together is good, though it does not work for my family a lot of the time. We go out to eat at a local sushi restaraunt a lot though, so there are at least a few times when we eat together. Eating together is a great way to talk about what has happened in the day and about pretty much anything.

 

[SpitNCobra13]

My dad was not involved in my life, and it was very painful and damaging, etc...However, I feel I am a better person for it, because I can look at a child in a similar situation, and know their pain, and really help them out.

 

[aliinnc]

Count me as very involved. But I have to admit that I haven't done quite as good a job of it with my second. Of course, he's a boy and isn't as communicative as my daughter. So that is probably part of it!
Ali

 

[ntbuddy]

Count me as very involved. But I have to admit that I haven't done quite as good a job of it with my second. Of course, he's a boy and isn't as communicative as my daughter. So that is probably part of it!
Ali

I wouldn't stereo type he doesn't talk because he's a boy. I'm told by Dana that I'm more of a girl than she is as I talk more than she does. I find that somewhat funny as a lot of our problems we've had has been because I talk TOO MUCH rather than not enough. Of course, it's also because I don't talk about what I should be talking about too (but that's another subject).

 

[aliinnc]

Good point,
Ali