Irrational dislike?...

[Ari2]

Have you ever had an irrational dislike for someone? If so, did you find a way to get over it?

I irrationally dislike my MIL. She drives me nutty. I can't even look her in the eye. Having her too close to me raises my hackles. Some of it is actually rational: She's pushy, never takes "no" for an answer, and is oblivious to social cues. There's also a big back story as to how this all got started (long and extremely boring), so I didn't just begin disliking her out of the blue. But she does means well, has a good heart, and is kind to me, despite the fact that I'm sure it is completely obvious I can't stand her. She's also my husband's mother and kids' grandmother, so I'll have to deal with her eventually.

I need to get over this. I'm not normally someone who wastes so much energy actively disliking someone over old stuff and petty new stuff. And I'm not one to hold a grudge. I can't think ever having such a reaction to someone. Maybe I'm allergic to her....

Any advice?

 

[Skyburning]

No advice, just wanted to say I could have written this post myself to the word. It sure helps to vent though doesn't it? lol

 

[Cthru]

Yah, i actually have a friend like that I'm tied to. She's changed over the years and there is no way I can cut ties because we have too much past.
I used to cringe and cater to her.. now, the last two times she has visited.. i bow up. I tell her if she has a problem with something she can fix it herself. I tell her i'm in a happy mood and don't want to hear negativity.. I leave any situation where she's pissing me off and return only when I've cleaned my head and can bear with it.
I feel for you. You're not irrational. Sometimes they can just get right under your skin and fester there.

 

[fallon]

no advice here...I was seriously about to post the samething though about my soon to be MIL

 

[Claire64]

I know how you feel. I have a SIL that I feel the same way about. I try to avoid seeing her unless our husbands are there, so I don't have to really talk to her. I'm nice to her, and she's nice to me, but we just can't stand being around each other.

 

[Ari2]

Thanks for the replies and support. On one hand, it is good to know that others are in similar situations. On the other, it is sad to know that others are in similar situations.

I was so irritated by her when they visited and then irritated with myself after they left that I've been thinking about it a lot. I think a huge part of it that she is so pushy. I feel like I need to keep the door to her shut or she will barge in and take over my life. I also have no control over any part of our relationship. They have almost every day of their lives planned for the next year, so they call and say "we can only come down on X weekend for the next 6 weeks to see our grandkids" and my husband feels compelled to agree (he talks with them - thank you, caller ID). I need to talk to my husband and see if we can actually pick a weekend and invite them before they invite themselves for the millionth time. Probably won't work or help, but at least I will have tried something.

And Alexis: You are right. It does feel good to vent. I have never said aloud that I dislike her. Just typing it probably lowered my blood pressure.