Is it possible to teach a 3 1/2 year old to pay attention?...

[jayman]

Is there anything I can do to teach my son to pay attention and listen? I have to repeat things a few times to get him to do something. He understands what I'm asking - he either doesn't care to hear me or doesn't want to do it. It usually involves him doing something wrong - stop running, don't put that there, go get this, don't pick your nose, etc. There are moment where I tell him not to do something, he'll do it, then have a laugh...

Even though he doesn't listen to me, he's managed to learn the alphabet, count to 100, does very simple math, reads simple stories (goodnight moon, oliva, etc.), knows his planets, shapes, colors, writes a little bit, does workbook pages and so on. I think he's playing mind games on me by not listening :arghh:

 

[Firefly4698]

Children are children. Sometimes there is nothing that can be done to get thier attention. Often Delaney is not listening because she is distracted by the tv, if that is the case, obviously we shut off the tv until she is able to give us her attention and show that she understands. Another thing we do, is talk to her. When she is not listening, I will have her come over to me at sit on my lap, I will tell her to look at my face, she has to remain eye contact to me while I am speaking to her. If she does not, I will continue to ask her to look at my face, and not allow her to get up until we have had our conversation. I know that sounds like alot to ask of a 4 year old, but it works. Eventually she settles down and gives me her attention. I also always end the conversation with "Do you understand?" And I wait for an anwser, that way I do really know that she was listening. I know it sounds simple and obvious, but it works.

 

[Trina]

Sounds like typical 3 yr. old behavior to me. Reading about child development will help you learn how to effectively deal with behavior issues.

Lots of good info here:
Topics for Preschoolers - Preschooler Care & Health | ParentCenter

 

[millerscow]

Is there anything I can do to teach my son to pay attention and listen? I have to repeat things a few times to get him to do something. He understands what I'm asking - he either doesn't care to hear me or doesn't want to do it. It usually involves him doing something wrong - stop running, don't put that there, go get this, don't pick your nose, etc. There are moment where I tell him not to do something, he'll do it, then have a laugh...

Even though he doesn't listen to me, he's managed to learn the alphabet, count to 100, does very simple math, reads simple stories (goodnight moon, oliva, etc.), knows his planets, shapes, colors, writes a little bit, does workbook pages and so on. I think he's playing mind games on me by not listening :arghh:

he knows his letters, counts, does math and reads. WOW! my girl didn't do any of that til she started kindergarten. and our 4 yr. old doesn't yet except a few letters and numbers.
your son is paying attention or he wouldn't know the things he already knows.
It sounds alot like he's trying to test you and/or just doesn't want to do the things you're trying to make him do so he's being what we call a real pain in the butt (with affection of course).
it's normal behavior so if it were me, i wouldn't worry. he sounds fine.

this reminds me of my kids and makes me want to giggle, cause i am constantly forgetting that other kids do this stuff too not just mine. and yeah, it gets aggravating and it feals like their messing with ya and they are most of the time too, but they're just kids and that's what kids do.

 

[~ladyrev~]

My 5 year old has this same problem. Her teacher said that she is brilliant, but she isn't consistent because sometimes she just don't care to do what the teacher is asking of her. Teachers in the past have told me that when I give her directions I need to have her repeat to me what was asked of her to know that she knows what needs to be done or not done......

 

[TwinsTimesTwo]

This sounds just like my daughter Cally when she was that age—brilliant, but obstinate. We instituted a rule that she got punished <I>the very first time</I> she ignored us. No second chances, no warnings. Eventually it sank in that 'ignore your parents' isn't a very fun game.

You have to be careful using that idea, though, because it would be unfair to punish a child who was genuinely not hearing or comprehending what you said. My youngest two will concentrate so fully on their play that they genuinely don't hear me unless I do something to get their attention. But it doesn't sound like that's the case for you.

 

[~ladyrev~]

I told her teacher that I don't want her to be singled out or to feel singled out so they implement the same ideas for all the kids in her class. What I don't get is her teacher told me that if she isn't cooperating on say a testing day they could have to turn her into no child left behind because if she don't show progress in tests even if the teacher knows she can do something they have to turn it into no child left behind... Anyone know about this?

 

[AmyBelle]

If you work out how to do it, please let me know.

 

[MammaJamma]

yea you can attempt to try some mini exercises on how to pay attention but they're only 3 theyre going to do what they want!

 

[amy]

Learning should be fun. Try using the Montessori teaching methods, where one learns at its own pace. Visit Montessori-book.com to learn more and check out the fun activities for young children!

 

[jayman]

Thanks everyone. I guess for me it's easy to forget he's only 3, and also, easy to forget that I can't control everything. I'm trying to let him get away with all the silly things he does - he is, like many of you said, 3 years old after all. I reserve the freaking out for those really critical moments like "don't use the toy hammer on your brothers head!" He'll grow out of it... and into much bigger annoyances I'm sure

 

[evilbrent]

Is it possible to teach a 3 1/2 year old to pay attention?

nnnnnope