is mma ok to watch for a child?...

[superman]

i dont prop him up and tell him to watch it but he does a lot with me when hes bored he will just chill and watch it with me. its just like watchin hockey or something. but krista (his mom) dont want him watching it while hes with me. first of all, he can watch anything i allow him to watch when hes with me...im in charge. and second its not bad for him to see. maybe in exess. i donno, what are ur opinions on this subject

 

[stjohnjulie]

Ok, first I had to look it up, since I had no idea what mma was (mixed martial arts) I guess I don't see anything wrong with watching it as long as you have a talk with him about it. Explain to him that he is not supposed to be trying any of those moves out. And if he wants to learn how to do martial arts he can enroll in a class and learn what its all about.

And you didn't ask, but I'm going to throw in my 2¢ about the ex.... I know you guys don't get along so well. Ex's are usually ex's for a good reason. As hard as it is, try your hardest to not get into a pissing match with her. If she doesn't want James to watch it, and he doesn't really watch it any way, maybe you could just let this one go and not let him watch. Maybe you should reserve your fight for something that is more important. I've learned the hard way that you need to reserve yourself for the 'big stuff'.

My ex's life blood is drama and conflict. He can be so extremely difficult. Over the years, I've learned that I was the one giving him the power by feeding into it. It took a lot of time and practice, but I think we are in a good spot now. I quit feeding the monster and he is much less of one now. When mom and dad fight, pretty much everyone loses. And if you can't be nice, it's best to just walk away and revisit it when you have regained some control. Make sense? Oh man! Can it be hard though!

 

[MomoJA]

I agree with Julie about choosing your battles. Very good advice.

As for the mma, are we talking about the older son or the younger one? Personally, I wouldn't want my child (younger) to watch it, but it's not something I would embarrass my hosts about by asking it to be turned off, for example, if we were at someone's house and it was on, such as I probably would for something gory.

 

[Xero]

I don't think its a big deal. I mean that's what boys like, fighting and action lol. I would just make sure that he knows that these people are professionals and they are choosing to fight as part of a special competition, and that he shouldn't be doing those things to other people himself. The only thing that makes me the tiniest bit uncomfortable is that the show can get kind of bloody, but its not the worst thing in the world, and they are getting like that pretty much willingly so the blood has a lot less impact on a kid than say, a gory horror movie.

Do you know why she doesn't want him watching it? Did she give you any reasons other than "I don't like it"? Some kids have a little more trouble with watching shows like that because they can't control themselves and are maybe a little bit more impressionable and even if you explain that its not for fun, they will still go out of their way to copy the shows and hit and kick and beat up on people because it looks so cool to them. If he has issues with stuff like that, I might encourage you to go along with her because in that case he might be better off not watching it so that he stays out of trouble.

Either way, I agree on the advice about getting along with your ex. Try not to sweat the small stuff, but I mean at the same time don't let her control your every move either. You don't need the stress of the argument, you've got enough to worry about. So try your best, but don't rip your hair out trying to follow her every wish.

 

[buddylovebabi]

personally i think that your house has your rules, but i do think it's important to talk to your ex and compramise on what you think is acceptable for him to be exposed to. If your ex had him watching porn you would definitely tell her it wasn't allowed, and you would fully expect her to respect that and not let him watch it anymore. While I understand it might not be totally reasonable not to let your kid watch something you don't find offensive, you have to think how you would feel if she was letting him watch something you didn't think he should be watching. (Like most fathers might be concerned if their boy comes home talking about princesses and fairies and wearing makeup after watching the "pretty fairy princess makeup hour")

Please, just think of how you would feel before you totally dismiss her concerns.

(Personally I think that until children have been taught self restraint, AND LEARNED IT AND ACCEPTED IT, that any type of fighting going on in front of them is going to influence them into violent behavior)

 

[NancyM]

I don't see anything wrong with it, as long as you keep explaining to him that it's professional, and he may not try to copy these moves on anyone.

My son is a fan, and always had been interested in professional fighting.
He loves wrestling, boxing, and martial arts ever since I can remember.

I think it's something little boys just take an interest in weather we moms like it or not. Again, he has to be reminded that it's serious and someone can really get hurt if they don't know what they're doing.

My son use to run around the house and pretend he was a ninja, or Rocky, or even Rambo, and guess who was the target...yep me!! I just think boys play that way weather or not they watch MMA.

 

[Dadu2004]

Personally, I think that he's way too young for that kind of stuff. MMA is extremely violent and I don't believe that subjecting a child to that sort of violence is proper. I certainly wouldn't allow my child to watch it if she were interested in it.

Your house, your call....but I wouldn't do it.

 

[Jeremy+3]

We wouldn't let any of our younger children watch it, just as they cannot watch wrestling or boxing. Personally if someone was allowing them watch it, e.g. grandparent, aunt, uncle etc, they would not be allowed alone with them until we knew they would no longer be seeing such things.

 

[teenage_parent]

okay, about MMA. I'm into the discipline and although it didn't discipline me when it comes to sex (hence i'm a teenage dad but that's another story) it did discipline me when it comes to not my relationship with other people. i know the value of humility because of it and i don't get into fights. if you observe, most martial arts hardcore practitioners are the most peaceful ones because their aggression is diverted to the right place.

as long as you explain to your child what martial arts is all about, then letting him watch is fine. it could be a big part of his life in the future.

about the ex, why does she now like making your child watch?

 

[mom2many]

I have to go with teenage dad on this one. With maybe a little different spin, instead of just watching with you get him into some karate type classes. He can learn the discipline that goes along with that type of sport. Like football or any other sport, there are plenty of sports that are considered violent but if the child learns early on the rules and that what they see only happens during certain times then they know the right and wrongs.

One of my DD's friends does MMA and he is the most respectful young man anyone can meet, he's lost his last few matches but he is still green and small compared to most of these guys...even the small guys. Not long ago Sam was at a friends house and before anyone knew it all hell broke loose, all directed at Sam (LONG story) she was holding her own until some guys decided they needed to get a few licks in also (she didn't know them) well a few of her guy friends jumped in but it was the MMA guy that laid most of them out . Had it not been for him fighting everyone off of her and carrying her to the car and locking her in while the fight continued she really thinks she would have been hurt very badly. I do have to say though that the main one she was fighting with looked a lot worse then her, not that it should have gotten that far but sometimes things happen, she now believes everyone should have at least one MMA fighter for a friend.

Anywho I went off a little, so long as he knows reality from "fantasy" it shouldn't be a problem.

Maybe if you get him in some classes momma won't be so concerned.

 

[yeojungi]

Your house, your call....but I wouldn't do it.

I don't understand what's so entertaining watching people fight. But, it's your house, your child, and you get to choose.

 

[TabascoNatalie]

as i understand... it's sports? i see nothing wrong with that. sports isn't violence after all.

unless your son gets negative influences from it (like -- becoming violent), you can let him watch. his mum has her rules, you have yours.

 

[IADad]

your house, your rules, but I think it's a dangerous precedent and going to cause youtrouble if you keep having vastly different rules, at mom's or dad's house. I think you need to come to an understanding with her, about why it's okay and in what context he's watching, i.e. you're there to explain the sport of it etc., and that they are trained professionals etc. i think a certain amount of context is important.

 

[sbattisti]

your house, your rules, but I think it's a dangerous precedent and going to cause youtrouble if you keep having vastly different rules, at mom's or dad's house. I think you need to come to an understanding with her, about why it's okay and in what context he's watching, i.e. you're there to explain the sport of it etc., and that they are trained professionals etc. i think a certain amount of context is important.

Ditto to this and to the comments above about picking your battles.

As far as MMA goes, it IS sport, but there's no question it's a very violent sport. The times I've watched it, I've seen guys beaten bloody by repeated forearms to the head. It's far, far more violent than hockey, in which there's an occasional fight these days, most of which are nothing more than a few swings and misses before the refs break it up. I don't know how old your kids are, but I wouldn't expose children to MMA until they are old enough to understand more about it. Absolutely, kids will try to imitate the things they enjoy.

When kids enjoy watching hockey, they will want to go out and play hockey, not fight. When kids enjoy MMA, they will want to go out and fight their friends (or siblings).

Honestly, though, I think the more important issue here is this: You need need NEED to find a way to improve your interactions with the ex-. This is important. You two are the adults. If she says "I'd prefer you don't let X watch MMA," you need to be capable of NOT taking that as her trying to control you, and turning it into a pissing match. You need to be able to rationally discuss it and come to an agreement, and yes, sometimes you need to agree to let her have her way and back her up on things. As it is, it sounds like every time she says anything, you get your back up, and then you fight about it. You guys need to break that cycle. And I'll say more specifically that YOU need to break it, mainly because she's not here to talk to about it.

Your kids are, I believe, still young. As they get older, they will TEAR YOU GUYS APART if you are on different pages. You really, really don't want to be here five years from now, dealing with all of the crap where the kids tell you they hate being with you, or "Mom lets me" or things with the ex- escalate because your son is drinking because "Dad drinks all the time" or something like that. You avoid that by having consistent rules at each house and backing each other up when the kids misbehave.

Just a thought.

Good luck!

~s

 

[TabascoNatalie]

When kids enjoy watching hockey, they will want to go out and play hockey, not fight. When kids enjoy MMA, they will want to go out and fight their friends (or siblings).

Hockey is quite a violent sport as well.
of course, everything depends on a particular child. if he becomes violent after watching it, then it is a serious signal.
after all -- 6 years old is old enough to start martial arts training. in reality, it is not that much about fighting, but about discipline and self-control.

 

[sbattisti]

Hockey is quite a violent sport as well.
of course, everything depends on a particular child. if he becomes violent after watching it, then it is a serious signal.
after all -- 6 years old is old enough to start martial arts training. in reality, it is not that much about fighting, but about discipline and self-control.

I would still argue that comparatively, hockey is not nearly as violent. Hockey is 95% non-violent, with an occasional fight. These days, there is perhaps one fight per game, sometimes none, and as I mentioned, most of those no one even lands a punch. I still contend that kids who enjoy hockey don't go in the driveway and fight. They go play hockey. In MMA, the whole point is to beat the other person into submission.

I would wholeheartedly encourage superman to get his kids involved in martial arts. I personally feel like MMA and martial arts are only tangentially related. MMA is fighting for sport by people who have studied martial arts. They're all very talented competitors, but ultimately it's for competitive sport purposes. Most traditional martial arts are primarily about respect and self-discipline, NOT about competitive fighting. I suspect that many martial arts teachers loathe MMA because of the way it glorifies the violent aspects.

Interesting note, btw, along those lines: <URL url="http://espn.go.com/espn/page2/index?id=4842426">Jackie Chan believes MMA ultimate fighting is not true martial arts - Page 2 - ESPN
(not saying that this carries any particular weight, but I was just googling and came across it).

 

[idanzalz]

I personally feel that violence is more natural to children than we think. In our basis, we are violent creatures and that is how we got to dominate this earth. That been said, I personally do not support violence in any way but I think this something you can only understand at a bigger age, no way to teach your children that from the get-go

 

[superman]

i have to agree with adanzalz, this goes wo saying that i am understanding opposing opinions not ignoring them. i feel like society tries to block out any outlet for violence as bad when its all a part of us naturally..but thats a whole different topic lol..

and as far as drawing the line goes..james has a good understanding of it when we watch it..any questions i answer. hes not really a violent kid to begin with he more-so looks up to them, havnt seen any imitation w. friends...but the classes are a very good idea. talked about them with him a couple nights ago so ill be calling around fer suuuure

 

[superman]

I don't understand what's so entertaining watching people fight. But, it's your house, your child, and you get to choose.

whatever floats ur boat dude

 

[SoBelle]

If you've watched any of the fights, they can be pretty brutal. And as we all know, kids have a high tendency to mimic what they watch. I don't think kids should be watching mma, but hey, you may think twice once jr socks you one..lol.