Is this normal for 6?...

[FooserX]

So I divorced my wife, and see my ex-stepson every 2 weeks for about 5 hours. It's more of a big brother thing than a dad thing.

Around me, he's great. Around others he's great. But my ex called to talk to me yesterday and told me he's been really difficult with her. He'll refuse to do as told, try to manipulate her by saying "you don't love me", lie and lie some more...etc etc.

I'm not there, so I don't see this - like I said...around me he's great and does everything I ask him. So...for those of you who have had 6 year olds...is this phase normal?

I'm wondering if he's just showing the signs of having lost his dad and family?

Any thoughts?

 

[Dadu2004]

I believe it's normal...my ex wife has the same struggles. She and I have a very good relationship, so I'm quite familiar with the environment that she's providing. She allows my daughter to get away with FAR more than I do, and allows her to break rules constantly. My daughter knows what buttons to push on my ex to get what she wants, and my ex gives in every time. It's created an environment over there that allows my daughter to get anything she desires, just by throwing a fit. With me, it isn't like that. She knows the rules and follows them.

It's about creating a proper parenting environment. I would tell you the same thing that I tell my ex....consistancy, rules, and don't give in. Be the parent.

 

[FooserX]

Thanks Dadu.

I told my ex the same thing...be CONSISTENT. She says she is, but I just am not there to know. I have a heard time believing she is.

X

 

[Dadu2004]

I feel ya.... problem is, you can't be there to truly see what's happening. I know, it's frustrating!

 

[FooserX]

I wonder if it's normal though...for kids who grow up in normal families as opposed to divorced ones.

X

 

[Dadu2004]

I guess (to me anyway), it would be normal based on the structure that's provided. If they're like me (and I suspect like you too), then there's rules and guidelines and if they are broken then there is a punishment. No exeptions. So, to us it wouldn't be normal....to families where they allow children to throw tantrums, bend rules, disrespect adults, etc., it would be normal. So I guess i'm saying that "normal" is a relative term here.

 

[Dadu2004]

BTW, how is the little man?

 

[mom2many]

Sounds pretty normal, part of it is because he is with mom everyday, he knows he can push the boundries, with you and everyone else it is a little different. Sounds pretty normal, goes with the saying "my kids are so good for everyone else".

 

[AmyBelle]

Bek does that too and me and DH are still together, she can get away with everything as far as Daddy is concearned and she certianly knows how to get her way with him. Mummy, well, its alot more difficult and she behaves more when im around.