It's too long, or not long enough?...

[AnKsMommy]

So Alenya will be 3 in June and she's gotten worse with her crying and what not. I confronted my husband about how we need to work together as parents and not play the "good parent, bad parent" game. Lately he's been on nights so it's just me and the girls. That's not too bad.

Here's the thing. Alenya used to say sorry, give a hug or pat the head. Now she's only patting the head...and not saying sorry. The daycare doesn't think that it's nice and neither do I. So after she threw something in a fit and I took the toy away and sat her in a chair and asked her to say sorry. So we sat there for a half hour. She cried and didn't end up saying sorry. I just felt so bad that she was there for a half hour. Do any of you think that's too long, too short?

She was crying and I cried afterwards, it was so hard.

 

[musicmom]

I wouldn't let her see you cry. I would stick to your gun until she says she's sorry. I wouldn't sit there with her because that means she is getting your attention and the longer she doesn't say she's sorry the longer she gets to spend with you.
The 3's are the worst. They say terrible two but the three's have it!

 

[AnKsMommy]

I thought about leaving her alone, but she'll get up and do whatever she wants then.

It's so hard not to let her see me cry. Afterwards I cried with her, not while I was trying to discipline her. It was just sooo hard! At about 20 minutes I yelled a few times...and I don't like to yell at her. :'(

Thanks for the advice. It's sooo hard to just stick to it sometimes.

 

[musicmom]

Then you keep putting her back with a firm "no". She is so testing you. You'll quit feeling so bad after a while because you know it's something she has to learn. Punishing your children always tears your heart out no matter what. I guess that's why they call it tough love.

 

[Kaytee]

I agree wtih MM, you have to stick to your guns and not show her emotion in this one. It is always good to show emotion in front of kids, except in cases like this.
I have heard over and over that the only people who say terrible 2's are the ones that don't have 3 year olds. They are worse by fay!!!
I have also been told that my dd acts 3 not 2 when it comes to tantrums. I saw a 2 year old having a tantrum at church on Sunday, and it was different. They told me he was having a 2 year old tantrum. They also told me Nichole couldn't go to the nursery when she was 3, since she is so 3 now!!! lol they were joking of course

 

[Good Wolf]

Yep, it is hard to watch them in distress but if you don't suck it up and stand your ground they will learn that throwing a fit gets them what they want.

I know the Mrs. and I have mentioned this before but the 'Love and Logic' book has helped us a lot in dealing with these type of situations.