Hello! I'm am currently on the search to not only better myself, but to become a more happy me. In all honesty, I have NO idea how to even do this. I'm an extremely bored, stay at home mom of a 3 and 4 year old. I have pretty much totally lost all of my identity the day I found out I was pregnant with my first. I'm 26. My 'friends' stopped hanging out with me, even the ones with children or who were pregnant the same time as me, shortly after my son was born. So much for friends, eh? My husband, I love his so much, but he's young and immature. He's 25 and just doesn't get it sometimes. And he's not very thoughtful. Like at all! No flowers here! No really meaningful gestures (any more, at least). Not even a quick note to say he loves me. I do those things for him. Not flowers, but manly things and notes. We currently stay with my parents and don't have a lot of space at all! You would think that staying with family would mean we would have a night out at least once every couple of months, but oh no! In over 5 years (including first pregnancy) I've had ONE just me night out. And maybe a total of 10 dates with my husband. That's even including our honeymoon days (4), each day, as a separate date. He works, I don't. I would LOVE to! But can't because child care is too expensive. No help from the state is available either. I've checked. So, now that you know I get NO me time (Can't even use the bathroom in peace), virtually no adult time without kids (including the middle of the night because BOTH my kids get night terrors like I did when I was young), and maybe one or 2 'dates' a year (including childless trips with my husband, to go grocery shopping). To top it all off, I very well could be pregnant now. Wasn't expected but a blessing still! I just can't lose more of the teeny tiny shred of me that I have left. I realize I'm being pessimistic, and I should be grateful for all the good I have. Which I am VERY blessed to even have a roof over our heads, food in our stomachs, and love. I am very thankful for all those things. I'm just tired of having 3 children instead of two. Soon, possibly 4 (including my husband). And when they aren't happy, it makes me not happy. My happiness shouldn't depend on them. Of course it's going to make me happy when they are! It just shouldn't be the ONLY thing that makes me happy. It should be one of the MANY. Right now, I'm having a REALLY hard time finding the many because I feel super sheltered (no car + really cold MN winter weather= stuck inside) and no friends to visit/have come to visit. I mean, I'm so bad, when my brother comes here occasionally, I almost go into a panic attack and it feels like a dream because it's human interaction with someone other than my kids, my mom and dad or my husband. I have been really, REALLY trying to stay positive about everything! I'm just at my limit and no more sparkle and glitter is available at the moment. Sorry so down. Not meaning to troll so please don't take it as that!
Just me...
- Thread starter notyourmom
- Start date
notyourmom said:
I know right? I almost get giddy and end up saying stupid stuff. Like "I gotta pee pee".Welcome to the forum. There are lots of people who will probably give you advice on most of the issues. Really it sounds like mentally all of what you have mentioned seems reasonable to me. I think you want: what a lot of other parents (mom's & dad's) want.
You do mention a plethora of issues. I understand it was probably a bit of a vent. And that's fine. We all do it. One of the functions of this forum seems to be creating a place for people to unload. Thats cool. Glad we can be here for that.
I suggest that you organize your thoughts a little. And start threads specific to each individual issue. This will make the issues clearer But more than that I will help the advice make more sense.
For example:
I'm going stir crazy. Trapped in the house
I want to work.
Where did my friends go?
Husband not a team player.
Husband lost romance.
Family support not much support.
So expect welcomes on this thread. Then post away. If you anticipate a long post. Put a little space between your thoughts. Its just easier to read that way.
Family should be fun.
Welcome
Bryan
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