Just new here...

[gorais]

Hello world and to all of you. I m from philipines a mom of two. happily married. Ive just found this site a minute ago. I know that I will learn a lot from you guys and I hope that I can help too.

My first question is.... I have 2 boys. my eldest is 6 and my youngest is 2. Is it okay to spank my 2 years old boy. He didnt talk too much yet, he always bump his head anywhere if he didnt get what he wants to me or to his playmate. Is it okay to spank him everytime he will do that bumping head??

Thanks in advance and God bless!

 

[Kaytee]

Spanking is never ok to me

Welcome though, sorry should have said that!

 

[Trina]

Welcome!

I'm not a spanker, and fail to see how it will help this situation. It's not unusual for toddlers to bang their heads when they're not able to verbalize their frustrations. My DS used to do this. I either ignored it, or redirected him to some other activity.

A good article here:
http://www.drgreene.com/21_1104.html

 

[Kaytee]

ohh, Nichole bites herself. lol Enough to leave a mark but not break skin. When she is done with the tantrum, then she tell sme" arm hurt mommy, I bite it!" well duh!!!!

 

[gorais]

Thanks kayte. SO what will I do then? Sometimes Im annoy of his act, but one time I spank him. he stopped crying and he sotpped bumping his head. Is there any option or suggestions to stopped bumping his head??

 

[Kaytee]

as Trina said, it is normal behavior when they are mad. Especially if they are not too verbal yet. My dd is very verbal but wll stil do this at times.
Ignore the bumping of his head, he will stop. As far as everything else goes. Time outs work if done right!! Tel him that his behavior is not acceptable to you, the nset him down tell him he has to sit there for until he can bahave correctly. Leave him be. If he screams so be it!! If he gets up, calmly walk over tell him again why he is in trouble (for example: "It is not nice to hit others when you are mad") then put him back. If he gets up again, just pick him up and put him back. Stay calm, if they get a rise out of you, they will act up more. You may have to put him back 15 times before he finally sits still. Most experts say 1 min per age. So he has to sit for 2 min. My dd is also 2 and I don't usually make her stay that long, since less time is just as effective for her. THen when the time is up, even if he is still upset (as long as he stayed put) pick him up or get down to him tell him AGAIN what he did " I told you before it is not nice to hit when you are mad" then ask him to say sorry, if he can't talk yet, then skip that I guess lol. THen give hugs and end it. Do not bring up again what he did wrong. The next time he does it, start over clean slate!!

 

[HappyMomma]

Firstly, welcome!

I agree with Katee. I also explain to my Dd who has been known to kick a wall as well as bang her head when mad, that "it's not ok to hit others nor ourselves... we respect each other and ourselves in this home."

My personal opinion on spanking is that it teaches that hitting is acceptable behavior and it causes shame rather than a willingness to respect.

 

[Good Wolf]

Welcome to the forum.

I agree with everyone else. It makes no sense to use voilence on a child in order to correct their bahavior.

"Stop hurting yourself!" *smack*

 

[Joy]

Welcome to the site!