Hi everyone! I have a 5 1/2 year old son. He has been doing Jiu Jitsu for the past 4 months. Our 6 month contract is almost over. He is not a very aggressive kid and does not really enjoy Jiu Jitsu all that much. I asked him the other day if he wants to continue in Jiu Jitsu once the 6 months are up, and he said no. He is a very sensitive boy so I wanted him to be in martial arts so he could build self-confidence and defend himself, but I don't want to keep him in something that he doesn't really enjoy. What would you guys do? Pull him out or persevere for a bit longer to see if he starts enjoying it? He goes to the classes willingly and does not really fight me and seems to enjoy it during the class, but he has told me before that he doesn't really like it. I would love for him to excel at martial arts, but don't want to pressure him to do something he doesn't enjoy. But also don't want to teach him to be a quitter. Opinions??
Keep him in Jiu Jitsu or pull him out?...
- Thread starter mpalmieri
- Start date
Hi and welcome to the forum.
If he doesn't enjoy it after 4 months, then he probably won't enjoy it. You either like something, or you don't, and kids are no different than adults when it comes to that. If he goes willingly, I think I'd try a little longer, but I wouldn't let him go against his will.
If he doesn't enjoy it after 4 months, then he probably won't enjoy it. You either like something, or you don't, and kids are no different than adults when it comes to that. If he goes willingly, I think I'd try a little longer, but I wouldn't let him go against his will.
Let hi ride out the 6 months and if he still does not enjoy it then do not renew the contract. The message that can be given was that he gave jj a try and it wasn't his thing today, this does not mean that he will not show an interest down the road. I wouldn't consider this quitting at all.
What is the reason he doesn't enjoy? Is it too hard, is the coach bad, or there are other kids he does not get on with? Or he'd rather do something else, like play football, or swim?
I think I understand what you are getting at.
Kids may not like something, but won't fight it if for fear of disappointing their parents or getting in trouble. They also feel powerless as parents make the choices for them. Some kids will have tantrums to get their point across. Some kids will sit in a class but will get distracted and will do their own thing t the demise of the teacher. Your son is showing maturity beyond his years as he is expressing his dislike to an activity verbally, without a fuss.
For some reason, parents don't take what their kids say seriously, thus the child gets stressed and goes into tantrum mode. You don't want it to get to this point. Your son may be picking up on the fact that the classes are nearly over, so he is just sticking it out.
Martial Arts isn't about turning a sensitive child into a tough boy. It's about self-discipline and self-defense. It can be repetitive and tedious and loud. Some times just the loudness can make a quiet child intimidated. It's certainly not for everyone.
I'm not sure if you have underlying prejudices to boys that are more sensitive, or if you are just concerned of him being bullied for being sensitive. One of the rules about Martial Arts is to not use it outside of class.
On a positive note, just like with any activity, it can improve his self-confidence. But any activity can do that. Even if you went the opposite direction and put him in dance, if he were to really in enjoy that type of activity, it would be much better on his self-esteem, than to stick with an activity he doesn't really like.
There are so many different types of activities out there for kids. Check out the Leisure Guide (they are free and available in most places where you can get newspapers or other guides to city community services. You can go over all the activities with him. The activities held at community centres usually run for about 4-8 weeks on average, and cost way less. You can try something different every season and sign him up for multiple activities in one season, as long as the schedules don't interfere. If you find there is something he is really enjoying and would like to pursue it further, then you can look into finding a place that offers a more permanent class.
Your son will be fine. Kids can be ever so cruel and they might find anything to pick on him about. But just be carful that your not giving subconscious messages to your son that you think there is something wrong with his personality or give him the impression that he deserves to get picked on for being sensitive. Not saying that you are, but you will be surprised to what young kids pick up on.
Kids may not like something, but won't fight it if for fear of disappointing their parents or getting in trouble. They also feel powerless as parents make the choices for them. Some kids will have tantrums to get their point across. Some kids will sit in a class but will get distracted and will do their own thing t the demise of the teacher. Your son is showing maturity beyond his years as he is expressing his dislike to an activity verbally, without a fuss.
For some reason, parents don't take what their kids say seriously, thus the child gets stressed and goes into tantrum mode. You don't want it to get to this point. Your son may be picking up on the fact that the classes are nearly over, so he is just sticking it out.
Martial Arts isn't about turning a sensitive child into a tough boy. It's about self-discipline and self-defense. It can be repetitive and tedious and loud. Some times just the loudness can make a quiet child intimidated. It's certainly not for everyone.
I'm not sure if you have underlying prejudices to boys that are more sensitive, or if you are just concerned of him being bullied for being sensitive. One of the rules about Martial Arts is to not use it outside of class.
On a positive note, just like with any activity, it can improve his self-confidence. But any activity can do that. Even if you went the opposite direction and put him in dance, if he were to really in enjoy that type of activity, it would be much better on his self-esteem, than to stick with an activity he doesn't really like.
There are so many different types of activities out there for kids. Check out the Leisure Guide (they are free and available in most places where you can get newspapers or other guides to city community services. You can go over all the activities with him. The activities held at community centres usually run for about 4-8 weeks on average, and cost way less. You can try something different every season and sign him up for multiple activities in one season, as long as the schedules don't interfere. If you find there is something he is really enjoying and would like to pursue it further, then you can look into finding a place that offers a more permanent class.
Your son will be fine. Kids can be ever so cruel and they might find anything to pick on him about. But just be carful that your not giving subconscious messages to your son that you think there is something wrong with his personality or give him the impression that he deserves to get picked on for being sensitive. Not saying that you are, but you will be surprised to what young kids pick up on.
Martial arts are sports. All the moves learned can be totally useless in a real life fight. Ask any policeman or soldier. What is useful, is to be in a good physical shape.
What would your son like to do instead?
What would your son like to do instead?
If he doesn't enjoy it then don't make him continue, ask him if there is something else that he might like to do and try that. If he doesn't know then try different things until you find something. Try finding out what some of his friends are involved in and put him in something with them.