Kill me now - Warning, Massive Vent...

[Antoinette]

arrrrrrrrrg FML FML FML

so David called today and was like oh Danielle and i were wondering if we could take Alegra off your hands for a few hours.. and i was like "umm she is breast feeding but you can come here for a few hours or i can come to you or something and he was like "cant you put it in a bottle" and i was like "well i probably could but i never have before so i don't know if she would take it" and he was like "it would mean a lot to DJ if you could try her like that" which is about when i was thinking WTF why would it mean a lot to danielle? so i was like "why does she care how i feed her" and he was like "we think we have some news but we want to know for sure first" and my heart just sank as soon as i heard that... i mean what else could it be? i was just like "is she pregnant" and he was like "why would you assume that" and I'm like "what else would be news that you can't tell me yet that involved Danielle wanting to look after my 1 month old baby?" and he was like "well we don't know for sure, don't say anything she doesn't want to be the talk of the town"

WTF.. i mean seriously WTF he got me pregnant TWICE and then left me before Alegra was even born because being a dad was "too hard" he has now been with Danielle for like 3 months and they think she might be pregnant.. i am just pulling my hair out with this news.. my babies could have a little brother and sister tying them to David and Danielle... he is irresponsible. and what is going to happen when he decides that that baby is too hard?? he will just move the hell on and leave another young woman to be a mother all on her own just like he has done before for F**K sake if you don't want to be a dad stop making F*****G babies..........

i am thinking about taking him to court and trying to get full custody of my children so if he sees them it is when and if i say because he is just proving to me time and time again how irresponsible he is and i don't think i want that sort of influence being around my babies.. if Felix turned out like David i think i would go into instant cardiac arrest.. i want to bring them up with good morals and to be people who do the right thing when ever they can...

i am freaking out today.. i know it isn't my problem if she is pregnant or not.. for god sake i don't even like her but i know him and it has been 3 months he is just going to leave another baby who is confused and has no daddy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

arrrrrrrrrrrrrg. sorry, just needed to vent i guess!!!!!

 

[Dadu2004]

Wow, I'm really sorry to hear this...I can understand why you're banging your head off the wall. Personally, i would tell him to F off and never call again, but that's just me.

 

[Xero]

Wow... My heart is breaking for you just reading this. Just because this is way more than you should have to deal with. Wow! What is wrong with this guy??? I kind of agree with Dadu. I REALLY think its time to go to court and apply for full custody.

AND NO do NOT bottle feed your baby just because your slutty ex boyfriend already knocked up his new "thing". She is NOT your problem and your infant is NOT her learning tool. It was nice of you to get along with her, but you sure as hell don't need to be doing her any favors. I would tell him no and to keep his d*** in his pants because he grosses me out. I just can't believe what he's done to the kids he already has and now he's bringing another one into the world??? I don't think you have to be a part of that.

I think David needs to learn what happens when you walk away from innocent children. You should go to court and get your custody, bring any and all evidence you can, and all recollection of his neglegence. Once you have that done, apply for child support and take him for all that he's got. He thinks you can just run around getting girls pregnant and then walking away before it gets too difficult and nothing happens? Well I think he needs to learn.

I'm not saying don't let him see them, but I'll tell ya I wouldn't say one bad word to you if you announced that you weren't. Anyway, he should be seeing them on your terms. Don't be afraid to be a b**** about your kids.

I'm sorry I'm flipping out lol but this guy is just off the freakin wall!!

 

[Xero]

And I'd personally tell his whole family he got another chick pregnant. But I'm rude like that. I think he needs to own up.

 

[IADad]

hmmm, seems like the productive thing to do would be to take up a collection to get him fixed....LOL

I don't get the whole thing about them wanting your baby....what, to practice with? I think you stick to your guns here, he can spend time with her with you. and if he finds it to difficult to spend time with both his "baby mommas" then maybe he'll get the clue that he needs to curb some of his "activities..."

Now, on a practical note, DW expressed and we bottle fed about half of the time, without any problems (ya know confusion or anything.) But that was her choice. You're repsonsible for feeding and nurturing your child, you do want you want to do and what you see as best.

I'm sure you'll do a lovely job raising your kids to be responsible and respectful, all it takes is effort and consistency (and a bit of luck) I think, talk to me in 10 years and we'll see for sure.

Seriously, I think half the secret to parenting is simply caring enough to really try. You see parents all the time, who don't seem to give two cares about their kids, simply caring and trying immediately moves you up into the top 50th percentile.

 

[Xero]

I had trouble with pumping, otherwise I would have done the same thing IADad. haha I just meant if she doesn't WANT to pump and bottle feed, that she certainly doesn't have to just because her ex got some girl pregnant and she wants her to practice on or something. No way!

I agree, and I would be more than willing to contribute to the David getting fixed fund. haha

 

[mom2many]

i am cleaning the carpets....i'll be back, but do non't give that baby a bottle yet, it can cause nipple confusion!

 

[IADad]

I had trouble with pumping, otherwise I would have done the same thing IADad. haha I just meant if she doesn't WANT to pump and bottle feed, that she certainly doesn't have to just because her ex got some girl pregnant and she wants her to practice on or something. No way!

I agree, and I would be more than willing to contribute to the David getting fixed fund. haha

yup, we're in agreement on the pumping thing (or "Mommy's milking machine" as DS1 called it at the time) It's Antionette's chose for HER reasons that matter.

I get the feeling if you contributed to the get david fixed fund, you'd want to watch...

 

[bssage]

Ann

I know this guy. I know a few guys like him. Get you paper trail in order. Protect yourself and baby by getting you ducks in a row. When It comes to child support its going to be first come first served. And he obviously has no regard for his own responsability. If you keep thinking it might get better you may find youself standing in line behind the other girls he is going to get pregnant. I have a bud that has like 7 kids from different mommy's. IMHO he is not going to shape up in the near future. So you need to stop letting your hope for that slow down making him legally responsible.

I like you, and wish I had cool, fun things to say. But I dont.

 

[xox.ilu.xox]

omigosh antoinette!!!!!!!! What a douche bag! It's like he doesnt get the phrase "it takes 2 to make a baby". I agree with everyone else, get your paperwork together and take his slutty ass to court and get full custody of your babies. you are a much more fit parent than he will ever be. I wish i lived closer so i could give you a big hug . my heart just aches for you!!!!!!

 

[Xero]

I get the feeling if you contributed to the get david fixed fund, you'd want to watch...

LOL it would be disgusting and yet somehow beautiful.

 

[Antoinette]

hahahaha, thanks guys... just being able to see that people are on my side and can see why this is stressing me out so much is very helpful.. it means so much.. and i think i am going to get all the evidence i have and I'm going to take him to court for full custody because i am sick of him acting like this and expecting me to just take it and let him "borrow" my baby for his little slut to practice her parenting on.... i was just starting to think my life was getting less complicated and he pulls something like this.... SO irresponsible..... thanks guys

 

[mom2many]

Men just don't get it...a little personal story here (I've talked about it before) but 2 of my kids are 2 months apart in age, both belong to my hubby.....see where I am going....when he had his affair it was because "He wasn't ready to be a dad" and when our oldest was 1 months old we seperated, our DD is the product of a one time thing while trying to work things out, and when I was 2 months along "it" got pregnant. I know exactly what you are feeling!

It sucks, but there is nothing you can do about how he runs his life, you run yours and take care of your babies however you see fit.

I would not let them use my baby (even if it is his to) as a guinea pig, if she felt ready to play then she can figure it out like the rest of us first time momma's do...The hard way!

I would also make any custody arraignments through the courts, don't expect to get everything you want cause while his a dick head he hasn't really done anything "wrong" and least not judiciously.

And I am sorry that you are going through this...it really does suck!

 

[bssage]

Kinda overgeneralizing here me thinks.

I would also make any custody arraignments through the courts, don't expect to get everything you want cause while his a dick head he hasn't really done anything "wrong" and least not judiciously.

[/quote]

Another advantage you have by acting quickly, is that he (at this point) is not wanting to take responsibility. So he will likely be less interested in visitation and more interested in his money. If you wait that can (an may as he matures) change, making things more difficult for you.

 

[ephemeralsoul]

Wow. Too many men and deadbeat fathers there are in this world. I think you should get full custody and get child support and make a structured visitation so that your child will know its father, however deadbeat or loser he is.

 

[Antoinette]

well, even if i get full custody i would still pretty much let him see them when he wants because he is still their father so any sign he want to see them is good..

i have however decided SHE will NOT be given the right to use Alegra as her little personal guinea pig... i did it myself when i was was barely 17 so she can manage it at 21 whether or not she was ready...

 

[bssage]

I am not trying to argue with you.

well, even if i get full custody i would still pretty much let him see them when he wants because he is still their father so any sign he want to see them is good..

This can change in the blink of an eye. He could leave the girl he is with now (and probably will) and end up with some crazy nutjob that you dont want you kido's anywhere near. Or one thats advising him on what to do in regards to your kids. Anything can happen.

I will quit pickin on you now.

 

[Martin]

Gotta agree with Bassage here, besides, look at what he is already asking you. "Please take your daughter and give her to me for a while to test out my new girlfriend. I don't care if you have to take away her breast feeding, I don't care that I suspect my girlfriend my be terrible with her (or I wouldn't be testing her). I don't care that it makes you uncomfortable. Just give her to me to test drive for a little while"

Ok, I am reading between the lines some, but he is asking basically those things. So it is pretty clear that just because he wants to be around them does NOT mean it is always going to be the best thing for the kids.

Absolutely get your papers in order. Record everything and get everything in writing. Don't be surprised if he comes up a year or 2 from now and suddenly decides he wants to be "Daddy". And don't be surprised if he is willing to say all sorts of nasty untrue things about you to get what he wants. I've seen this happen several times with custody battles and divorces. Sadly, you just cannot afford to be nice here. Protect your kids, keep them safe, and keep yourself safe. Assume he is going to be a total douchebag and save EVERYTHING, and record EVERYTHING. If it turns out he gets his shit together down the road and turns into a decent dad, then you never have to use any of it and everything is fine. But don't be surprised at all if he doesn't turn on you and try and take the girls, or claim that you are unfit and come after you just to hurt you.

Can't tell you how many times I have seen the person trying to be "nice" get completely shafted because the other side was willing to do or say anything to get what they wanted.

 

[Antoinette]

okay.. he isn't saying take her off breast milk he is saying to Express which i will probably be doing in a couple of months anyway to make daycare easier (she starts daycare on monday which means i can have money again.. yey)

also he isn't saying he thinks she is bad with children.. she doesn't know if she can handle being a mother and he wanted to show her what it would entail (yes it was a stupid idea but he wasn't testing her, he was talking her out of abortion)

and speaking of getting my shit in order.. Jordz can you txt me i might need your husband

 

[mom2many]

[/URL] Men just don't get it...Kinda overgeneralizing here me thinks.[/quote]

You're right..my bad, but lets face it, this kinda issue is more common then men who stick by the woman and work things through (I do realize that it is also more common for woman to do the same).