A friend of my niece has a brother who is honestly a truly horrible boy. He seems to genuinely enjoy making younger children cry, he has no regard for the property of his siblings and he once poisoned the family cat. His parents seem like nice normal people & his sister is pretty much a normal kid. How do people explain this rare phenomenon of a fairly normal family with one kid that is such a little bastard?
little sociopath...
- Thread starter Aunt
- Start date
Well you really can't say. With so little information and background, it could be anything. I would be careful though, not to judge his as a sociopath.
Great parents don't always have great kids, and great kids dont' always have great parents.
Great parents don't always have great kids, and great kids dont' always have great parents.
As a psychotherpist, I have worked with emotionally disturbed adolescents and there are "warning signs" that professionals often look for in a seriously disturbed child. Fire-starting and harming/killing an animal are two of the "markers" that can be used to diagnose a child with a mental illness such as conduct disorder or psychopathology. However, there are other markers as well. Either way, I'd say he needs TREATMENT and his parents should seek it for him. The truth of the matter is that if there is no intervention, then he will continue to spiral out of control and will end up in jail or worse.
That reminds me of the situation my own mom is in, actually. Out of six of us, everyone we know would say my mom raised all incredibly decent kids, except for one of us. My second to youngest sibling, at 15, has SOMETHING SERIOUSLY WRONG with him. I would label him as a sociopath no questions asked, and yes I know his background and his situation and everything else because I grew up with him for some time. He hurts my mom's dogs on purpose whenever nobody is looking (I've seen it for myself), he has told my littlest brother (8) to go play in the road on his bike right as a car was coming MORE THAN ONCE, and one time he led him as far into the woods as he could and then ran away and left him there hoping he would stay lost. The poor little guy didn't find his way home until hours later, crying when he got there. He steels constantly, from all of his siblings, from his friends, from his school, everything. Every word that comes out of his mouth is a lie. When you try to talk to him in the most serious manner that would get to any normal kids heart, he doesn't even pay attention. He'll stare straight past you waiting for you to be done, and once you shut up he says "ok" and goes to his room or whatever. You can take ANYTHING and EVERYTHING away from him in punishment (my mom doesn't spank or use physical punishment, but sometimes I inappropriately wish she would beat the crap out of him), and he doesn't even show emotion. He never cares. He shrugs, and a lot of the time does it anyway when you're not looking. He'll swear and spit at my mom or us, or hit us. He beats the little one up a lot. He has no friends at school because kids hate how strange he is, even though we've tried to teach him how to be a good friend. He's just so mean and cruel and heartless and incredibly annoying if nothing else. I sincerely hate him because he's always caused problems for my family, he goes out of his way to make our parents fight with each other. He even tripped my little sister when she was on crutches after having very painful foot surgery and when asked why he did it he said he thought it was funny. He told a little 8 year old girl in the third grade he wanted to have sex with her when he was 14. And had our little cousin do nasty things with him too, when he was 13 and she was about 8 or 9. He has a mobile therapist and a TSS and everything else, and it doesn't help. I think he just needs to go off someplace but my stepdad wont allow it. I hate the whole thing and can't wait for him to be out of that house even though I don't live there anymore.
He's even in a special class at school for kids with problems or whatever, and even with that and all the therapy he gets, it seems to do nothing at all. He just gets worse and worse and worse every day as he gets older he just gets braver. It's horrible. He needs something much more serious than therapy and my stepdad is going to regret it someday when he's off in jail or dead for messing with the wrong person or something.
but really and this is a question for the psyhotherapist what can be done? residential treatment can often do more harm than good. I dnt know if this kid is getting therapy as he is not mine. His sister spends a lot of time at my place with my niece because she is wary of him. I dont mind as she is a basically decent kid but sometimes am concerned about her safety. Is it even appropriate to bring this up with the parents? I know i was handful as a teen but I cant understand this boy's malice
parentingpink said:
God I hate reading stuff like this. Thank you for sharing. We are in the process of getting help for my stepdaughter.
I don't know if the parents would believe you. I know DD mom thinks we're crazy when we tell her the stuff DD does. Poor kid.
That's the way my stepdad is. Austin is his biological son, along with one of my sisters (who is totally normal). And what really messes it all up is that he is a truck driver and is on the road A LOT. So he doesn't deal with it, he just hears about it. And instead of believing and accepting that he needs to get his son drastic help, he denies it and says we don't like him and we pick on him and constantly makes up excuses for him. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that as a parent, you feel like you are being criticized when people tell you your kid has problems. It always feels like your fault, and like you should be embarassed about it (which in turn makes you mad because no one appreciates being embarassed about something as important as parenting). I wish he would just look past all that and think about the trouble Austin is causing the rest of the family, and the trouble he'll be in some day.
I don't even know what they'd do with him, to be honest. There are options like boys homes and boot camp or what have you, but 9 times out of 10 they come back worse than before after having spent time with a ton of other boys that are just as bad. Especially Austin, he's really easy to influence, and very immature, so he'd pick up anything negative. It's like his mind is a sponge for anything bad he can learn. I guess in the end it doesn't matter to me... I just want him gone at this point. (After years of dealing with it and watching my family suffer.)
I don't even know what they'd do with him, to be honest. There are options like boys homes and boot camp or what have you, but 9 times out of 10 they come back worse than before after having spent time with a ton of other boys that are just as bad. Especially Austin, he's really easy to influence, and very immature, so he'd pick up anything negative. It's like his mind is a sponge for anything bad he can learn. I guess in the end it doesn't matter to me... I just want him gone at this point. (After years of dealing with it and watching my family suffer.)
I would like to add something on today that proves that they only get worse and become more bold as they get older, even with therepeutic help. My mom called me today and we got on the topic of my brother and she told me a couple of really disturbing things. For one, he's been telling my littlest brother that he's going to kill him in his sleep (they share a room), and the other day he raised a chair and tried to hit my mom with it but missed and didn't try again. Worst of all, he and one of my sisters had a sleep over with one of my mom's good friend's kids at that person's house. They all slept in the living room, and the woman's kids are girls. One of the girls (19 I think) woke up with his hand down her pants touching her privates. He pretty much was molesting her in her sleep. They don't have any liking towards each other or anything, there's no hidden romance. It was straight up perverted molest. And the worst part about it is that my mom told my step dad and he has not said ONE SINGLE WORD to Austin about it. Not a word. Never even mentioned it again since she told him. He didn't even say anything at the time. Just shrugged it off. THAT'S HORRIBLE. My mom has informed me that she is working things out so that she's ready to leave him, and she's doing it. I don't blame her one bit. I can only imagine what might be going on with my own sisters or other brother at night. What a freak.
omg xero...yea, he sounds a little...um...not well...in the head...eh...I don't know how to say it.
It sounds like your brother needs some serious help, fast.
What did your parents of the girls say?
I cringed reading some of the things he did...it's just not right!!
It sounds like your brother needs some serious help, fast.
What did your parents of the girls say?
I cringed reading some of the things he did...it's just not right!!
I know, and none of my other siblings are like that. We would never think of talking back to our parents, steeling or getting into any kind of trouble like that for the most part. Anybody would say we are very decent, well raised, and hard working kids. He wont even do any chores whatsoever in the house, where everyone else does. Even my 8 year old brother has a chore.
I don't really know what her parents said besides just telling my mom he did it... But my mom told me that she told them that they should have called the police, and they said they were worried they'd cause her problems and just decided he'd never come over again and they'd leave her to handle any consequences. I would have been way meaner if it were me, but who knows.
Yeah I'm just glad my mom is leaving my stepdad, and taking two of my sisters and my other brother with her. I'm already gone on my own. My last sister is actually Austin's biological sister and my stepdad's daughter, so she would have to go with him. I think she'd be better off with my mom, but she doesn't always get along with her anyway and she would rather go with him, so I guess whatever.
I don't really know what her parents said besides just telling my mom he did it... But my mom told me that she told them that they should have called the police, and they said they were worried they'd cause her problems and just decided he'd never come over again and they'd leave her to handle any consequences. I would have been way meaner if it were me, but who knows.
Yeah I'm just glad my mom is leaving my stepdad, and taking two of my sisters and my other brother with her. I'm already gone on my own. My last sister is actually Austin's biological sister and my stepdad's daughter, so she would have to go with him. I think she'd be better off with my mom, but she doesn't always get along with her anyway and she would rather go with him, so I guess whatever.
I would want to leave too, if my dh wasn't supporting my actions with the son. You can't let kids get away with those kind of actions, they need limits! Sometimes kids just test us to see how far they can get away with things.
If it were me and someone did that to my daughters...OMG...I don't even know what I would do. Depends on how my dd would take it probably. But that's serious what he was doing to that poor girl in her sleep! I don't even want to start with what my dh would do. If I had a son and he did something like that...they best lock him up! I might kill him if I saw him, I think that those kind of offenses are the worse!
If it were me and someone did that to my daughters...OMG...I don't even know what I would do. Depends on how my dd would take it probably. But that's serious what he was doing to that poor girl in her sleep! I don't even want to start with what my dh would do. If I had a son and he did something like that...they best lock him up! I might kill him if I saw him, I think that those kind of offenses are the worse!
Is Austin medicated in anyway? That sleep over story is horrific. Austin is missing his Jimmie Cricket.
Jimmie Cricket? Lol I don't get it, like marbles?
Anyway, yeah he takes Adderal and Concerta (sp?), but I don't think they do anything. And he constantly like blatantly goes out of his way not to take them. He'll refuse to take them, lie about taking them, anything. I think he should be on more stuff though.
Anyway, yeah he takes Adderal and Concerta (sp?), but I don't think they do anything. And he constantly like blatantly goes out of his way not to take them. He'll refuse to take them, lie about taking them, anything. I think he should be on more stuff though.
To both Aunt and Xero, the conditions of these kids are the toughest ones to deal with because it isn't necessarily an issue of biology...
(Just a brief explanation to insert here: In the world of psychology there is the great debate of Nature vs. Nuture. Whether it is someone biological or genetic make-up or the environment in which they are raised that has the greatest impact on the person you become. The jury is still out but it is likely a combination of the two with each case being different)
...so medication doesn't necessarily treat the problem. Like I've told family members, medication will treat symptoms like making it easier to concentrate or alleviating hallucinations but it doesn't change personality. And with kids like this, that is what is the primary issue. While they are still too young to be diagnosed with a personality disorder (as far as diagnostic criteria is concerned), personality disorders are the most difficulty to treat because the person has to recognize that they have a problem and want to change.
Most people with personality disorders end up in therapy because they are forced to go by somebody or some agency. And that works about as well as anyone can imagine it would when you are forced to do something you don't want to do.
It's hard to tell what makes kid and people like this. When you take child and adolescent psychopathology classes you certainly hear enough horror stories of how it happens but sometimes it just seems to be the "wiring" with no environmental cause.
(Just a brief explanation to insert here: In the world of psychology there is the great debate of Nature vs. Nuture. Whether it is someone biological or genetic make-up or the environment in which they are raised that has the greatest impact on the person you become. The jury is still out but it is likely a combination of the two with each case being different)
...so medication doesn't necessarily treat the problem. Like I've told family members, medication will treat symptoms like making it easier to concentrate or alleviating hallucinations but it doesn't change personality. And with kids like this, that is what is the primary issue. While they are still too young to be diagnosed with a personality disorder (as far as diagnostic criteria is concerned), personality disorders are the most difficulty to treat because the person has to recognize that they have a problem and want to change.
Most people with personality disorders end up in therapy because they are forced to go by somebody or some agency. And that works about as well as anyone can imagine it would when you are forced to do something you don't want to do.
It's hard to tell what makes kid and people like this. When you take child and adolescent psychopathology classes you certainly hear enough horror stories of how it happens but sometimes it just seems to be the "wiring" with no environmental cause.
I don't have any advice, but coincidences can be weird. I just met a mom a few days ago in my area and she has a 13 year old boy who also has personality disorders. I actually just found out yesterday.
She loves her son, but knew he was dangerous, threatening her other children, aggressive, he was hiding knives around the house. She found a place where he could stay and receive treatment. So her son no longer lives with them at this point but he's in a place where she hopes he can get better. I don't have any other details, as I could tell it was difficult for her to talk about, but it does seem as there is help out there. Hopefully, the children in this thread get the help they need before it's too late.
She loves her son, but knew he was dangerous, threatening her other children, aggressive, he was hiding knives around the house. She found a place where he could stay and receive treatment. So her son no longer lives with them at this point but he's in a place where she hopes he can get better. I don't have any other details, as I could tell it was difficult for her to talk about, but it does seem as there is help out there. Hopefully, the children in this thread get the help they need before it's too late.