Mature child support...

[Odenslund]

Hello, everyone!
I am divorced, my child is in Year 12 and my ex announced me that starting with the end of the school year, he will not contribute financially to the support of our child, even if she will study full time next year. My question is: is it normal? He told me that in developed societies (we live in Australia) children are not supported by their parents after they finish high school, even if the children study full time at university and do not have enough time to work full time to support themselves.
My opinion is that a child does not stop being your child when he/she finishes high school and the parents should provide support at least until the studies are finished, especially when the child works very hard to get the best results and have a good start in life. My daughter lives with me and I provide her all she needs, but, of course, a child has a father, too.
What do you think? Could you tell me your opinion, please?
Thank you very much!
PS. I forgot to mention that my daughter receives her child support directly into her bank account.

 

[page16]

Here are the laws on child support in Australia:
http://www.diyfamilylawaustralia.com/Topic/child_support_does_when_does_child_support_end.html[/url]

I don't know what year 12 is, is that a grade?

If she is 18, he is not required to pay child support. Of course it becomes then an ethical matter but it's entirely up to the parent whether he wants to continue supporting or not.

 

[Odenslund]

Here are the laws on child support in Australia:
http://www.diyfamilylawaustralia.com/Topic/child_support_does_when_does_child_support_end.html[/url]

I don't know what year 12 is, is that a grade?

If she is 18, he is not required to pay child support. Of course it becomes then an ethical matter but it's entirely up to the parent whether he wants to continue supporting or not.

Thank you, Page16! I'm sorry I didn't write it clearly; yes, Year 12 is a grade, the last grade in high school. As you said, I think mostly of the ethical aspect, meaning to help your closest relative, in my case our daughter, because she really needs support to finish her studies. She is a very good and hard working child.

 

[cybele]

I always find the "In other countries" argument bizarre, because we aren't living in other countries. You kind of have to conform to what your own country is doing, and, as it so happens, in Australia parents typically support their children until they have finished full time study. Like it or not, that's the norm where he lives.

That said, child support is paid up until 18, you have a few options, none of which involve your ex being required to pay, because that's not a legal requirement and all in all his morality is on him, so you're probably out of luck there.

It depends on what your child is planning on doing next year, I get the impression they are planning on studying?

1. So if they live with you, then that's that, the onus is on your (and hopefully them? I can't speak to other states but I know that in Victoria if you don't have customer service experience while you still qualify for junior wages you are pretty much making yourself unemployable).

2. They move out and apply for Youth Allowance through Centrelink, that they may or may not be eligible for depending on their study.

There really isn't much else you can do.

From my perspective, my husband and I are still together so child support isn't something I'm that knowledgeable about, but my older two are both at university full time, DD21 has her 4 years on HECS, DS18 has paid for his first year out of his savings from work (it was around $4000), but is planning on putting his remaining 3 years on HECS.

I fund a roof over their heads and food, and any other necessity. They fund everything else, our home 'requirement' is for each of our kids to gain employment once they hit legal working age, so 14 years 9 months, so they have their own money and have had for a while, so there has been time for them to build up decent savings (both bought their cars outright from their savings).

So I guess I believe in financially supporting them to an extent. I wouldn't be naïve enough to think that there is such thing as affordable student accommodation in Melbourne, heck, I'm a landlord, I know that doesn't exist, hence why local students live at home, and I have nothing against handing them some money when they have to buy textbooks, but at the same time I'm not paying for a weekly trip to the all you can eat dumpling place, tequila, filling up cars that they use to drive all over the city for no apparent reason, tickets to see the same band once a month for a year, entry fees to tetris night at Pony Bar, more clothes when there is nothing wrong with the over abundance of clothes they already have, and all the other various things that come with uni life. That's on them.

 

[Odenslund]

I always find the "In other countries" argument bizarre, because we aren't living in other countries. You kind of have to conform to what your own country is doing, and, as it so happens, in Australia parents typically support their children until they have finished full time study. Like it or not, that's the norm where he lives.

That said, child support is paid up until 18, you have a few options, none of which involve your ex being required to pay, because that's not a legal requirement and all in all his morality is on him, so you're probably out of luck there.

It depends on what your child is planning on doing next year, I get the impression they are planning on studying?

1. So if they live with you, then that's that, the onus is on your (and hopefully them? I can't speak to other states but I know that in Victoria if you don't have customer service experience while you still qualify for junior wages you are pretty much making yourself unemployable).

2. They move out and apply for Youth Allowance through Centrelink, that they may or may not be eligible for depending on their study.

There really isn't much else you can do.

From my perspective, my husband and I are still together so child support isn't something I'm that knowledgeable about, but my older two are both at university full time, DD21 has her 4 years on HECS, DS18 has paid for his first year out of his savings from work (it was around $4000), but is planning on putting his remaining 3 years on HECS.

I fund a roof over their heads and food, and any other necessity. They fund everything else, our home 'requirement' is for each of our kids to gain employment once they hit legal working age, so 14 years 9 months, so they have their own money and have had for a while, so there has been time for them to build up decent savings (both bought their cars outright from their savings).

So I guess I believe in financially supporting them to an extent. I wouldn't be naïve enough to think that there is such thing as affordable student accommodation in Melbourne, heck, I'm a landlord, I know that doesn't exist, hence why local students live at home, and I have nothing against handing them some money when they have to buy textbooks, but at the same time I'm not paying for a weekly trip to the all you can eat dumpling place, tequila, filling up cars that they use to drive all over the city for no apparent reason, tickets to see the same band once a month for a year, entry fees to tetris night at Pony Bar, more clothes when there is nothing wrong with the over abundance of clothes they already have, and all the other various things that come with uni life. That's on them.

Dear Cybele, thank you very much for your post and the time you invested to write it! It is so wonderful when people help each other... and you really helped me! I always say that the Earth doesn't stop moving because there are people like you, Cybele, who like to help.
My ex lives in Victoria and I live in Tasmania with our daughter. If he refuses to help her, I know that there isn't much I can do, so we'll go on with what we have and that's it. I'll take care to tell him that his opinion is wrong and that parents usually love their children after they turn 18. It breaks my heart to see and feel my daughter's sadness; she is mature, she understands a lot and she heard how my ex and I discussed about money like we were at the market, when, normally, that discussion didn't have to take place.

 

[TabascoNatalie]

I know "another country" where law says that parent owes child support to a full-time student up to age 24

 

[CraigK]

Wow this sounds like a hairy situation-- do you have a legal agreement with the father?

 

[babybibsplus]

It is unfortunate that he feels that way. Check and see if there are any programs that she can apply for to assist her while she is in school. They may help pay part of her tuition, food and rent.