Memories of Mom~...

[Mom2all]

Other threads on here have made me think of my Mom. Things I miss so dearly and have made me want to put out there some good things about our parents. I know some of you don't have a Mom or Dad that was there for you.. so tell me something great about the person that stood in for them~


Some of my favorite memories were at bedtime. My Mom was in a bad situation with Domestic Abuse, so often she would find shelter with me. And.. as bad as it drove me crazy.. she kept trying to sleep in my bed with me. I always would tell her that I was a grown woman and she had to sleep in her own bed. She could never sleep. I'd roll over in the middle of the night and find her staring at me, having snuck in my bed like I used to sneak in hers. Just waiting for me to wake up. After the first shock of seeing her there.. we'd laugh and lay there telling secrets in the middle of the night.

She's been gone since 2004.. I can not tell you how many times I woke up in the middle of the night and just wished so hard it hurt she could be there to whisper secrets to.

 

[Mom2MLB]

I lost my mother in July 2008, unexpectedly. That was the first heartbreak I had ever truly experienced. And I still have not healed. Some days it is still difficult to get out of bed.

She was a single mother and I was an only child. We had our ups and downs, but she was always THERE. And that is what I remember the most. She was just THERE. Always. I have no idea how she did it, being a single parent who worked fulltime, but she did.

 

[Xero]

Geez these stories bring tears to my eyes...

Well my biological mother was addicted to narcotics and she was violent and abusive in many different ways. But sometimes it was like she would snap out of it just for a short time and I always waited for these moments. When these times happened, she would call me in her room (she never came out unless she was angry at me for something) and she would ask me if I wanted to lay down in her bed with her and watch a movie. I remember this always made me so happy, and I would lay quietly next to her and watch a cool movie and things would feel right for a couple of hours. It was really important to me, and a good memory.

For my mom who adopted me, I have lots of good memories haha. She taught me how to play card games, and we would all sit around playing and laughing and screaming at each other lol. I loved that. Every time there was nothing to do, we would watch TV together. Stupid shows that made us laugh and guess like the Price is Right and Family Feud. We would rent movies too. And something cool that I will never forget, probably because I never had it before I had her, was that we sat down at the table as a family for dinner EVERY NIGHT. This was strangely special to me and I always looked forward to it (probably 50% because I was hungry, but also because I enjoyed it). I know this is going to sound silly but she also taught me to say "I love you". Not the actual words, but when to say them. Before bed, when getting off the phone, as you walk out the door for school. Its something my biological mom never did. I don't doubt she loved me, but she just wasn't the type to say it at those times regularly. And I loved that. I do it with my son and husband too. Even now when I talk to my biological mom on the phone, I will tell her I love her at the end of the conversation and she is thrown off. But to me, its so important!! My (adopted) mom and my sister and I all tell each other I love you after every phone conversation, every time we walk out the door, everything.

Another great memory of my mom who adopted me is pretty funny lol. Whenever she went in the bathroom us girls would follow her. That woman was never in the bathroom alone! lol And she would always yell at us and try to get us out, but we kept coming back haha. We would talk to her and ask her questions and stuff at this time. While she was in the shower we would sit on the toilet and just talk to her about whatever. If I am at my mom's house even now if she happens to be in the shower while I'm over I follow her in and talk to her haha.

Well I have a lot of great memories about her. Nobody can be a perfect parent and she definitely had her flaws that I could complain about, but she is a good person and I love her.

 

[Father_0f_7]

I remember when my dad died she just kept asking what she could do for everyone else. She was obviously mourning but I think what kept her going was
1. She knew she had 12 kids she now had to care for by herself.
2. Helping other people helped her get through the pain.

When she met Steve...he wasn't too bad. He was an alcoholic but not a violent alcoholic...yet. They got married and soon after he began abusing me. First with just words "You'll never amount to anything" "I don't know why your mom even loves you". Stuff like that. They one day he broke my arm for not making my bed, even though he heard my mom tell me not to make it. At that point he realized I was too small to fight back. And even if I did, I'm was match for a 6'2 265 lb former Marine. That's when the sexual abuse started.

I never told my mom but she knew something was wrong. She never thought it would be that, but she knew it was something. So we would go to the movies, she would get my brothers to take me to the baseball field. She would invite my friends over and we would do random kid stuff. She was alway super supportive of whatever I wanted to do.

The day she found out was Steve was doing she told him to leave. When he didn't she immediately called the police. They came by and took him away and, luckily, they saw him hit me. If they hadn't seen that, they couldn't have taken him away.

When his court date came up I was too scared to testify. She said the most I didn't have to testify, that she would do it for me (she actually couldn't but just the thought that she would made me feel better). I testified, he went to prison. We got ice cream.

Another one of my favorite memories of her (she's still alive but she's not doing well at all) is with Megan. I was so scared when she was born...it was a good scared but still, I was 17 years old and had no idea what I was doing. Amber and I got an apartment close buy and my mom would come over everyday and help Amber and I. I got home from school one day and she was just sitting there with Megan talking. Megan couldn't really talk, she would just babble. But my mom is sitting there like "oh yeah" "did you know your father tried to jump a house on his bike" "ya, a house...he's a little weird".

She's just sitting there, having a "conversation" with her. It was hilarious.

 

[Mom2all]

I love all your stories.. sad and happy~ they brought me a few tears.

 

[xox.ilu.xox]

my mom and i have a few good memories. we were very close when i was a kid and even a teenager. its when i hit 19 and started going to school, and working full time that we drifted. I was taking a legal administrative assistant course and that was 8 hours a day, then i would go to work at the warehouse at sears for 5-6 hours after, then go home and do homework. needless to say, on the weekend i would go to the bar and party til my hearts content. and my mom didnt like that. we fought and i was even kicked out of the house once.

After i got married our relationship got worse. she would try and tell me what to do with hayleigh, how to clean my house. and when i got my tattoo, she said she would disown me if i got another. which hurt a lot. So for mothers day this year i wrote her a letter, saying how no matter what holes i have in my body or ink in my skin i will always be her daughter. she doesnt have to like evertything i do and i dont have to like what she does, but we are still family So now our relationship is slowly on the mend. shes 67 and not getting any younger, so i want us to be close again

 

[Xero]

My biological mom is 53, but my mom who adopted me is 36!!! lol Pretty young to have a 23 year old daughter, right? We'll both be old together someday.

 

[singledad]

Some beautiful and sad stories here and here's mine:

My mother... There really isn't much I can say about her. She was never "mom". At times it was as if she forgot that she had children. She could go days without as much as speaking to us, or fixing us something to eat. On top of that, she never lifted a finger to protect us from our abusive alcoholic father. Then, one day when we were around 11 years old, she left without saying goodbye. I never saw her or spoke to her again.

A couple of years later, we went into foster care. The foster mother , I believe, tried to be a mom, but her husband was as abusive as my father, especially when he was drunk. And he was often drunk. She was a battered woman, and the few times she tried to protect us, he made her pay. I will never understand how they managed to get approved as foster parents.

At 16, I moved in with my grandmother. She had filed for custody, and had spent countless days in court and stacks of money that she didn't have, fighting to get us out of the foster care system.

I have many, many good memories of her. I was a very angry and depressed teenager and I could spend hours just lying on my bed, staring at the wall and trying to make sense of the chaos in my head. My grandmother had a habit of coming into my room and sitting on the bed with me without saying or doing anything. She just sat there so I wouldn't have to be alone. She never pressured me to talk or even touched me. Her just being there, ready to listen the day I was ready to talk, meant more to me than any words could ever have done.

My grandmother taught me how to both give and receive love. She taught me about trust, respect and loyalty. She helped me understand that the walls I had built around me, was in fact a prison cell, and then she helped me break them down. As a little kid I was often punished for showing emotion - my grandma taught me to feel again.

As time progressed we started doing more and more fun things together, but even today, I still enjoy simply being in the same room as my grandma. We can sit and watch TV together, or we can each be busy with our own thing, as long as I can see her when I look up, I am happy.

She is very old now, and her health is failing. I know that every time I see her could be the last time and even though I know she's had a full life and her death won't be a tragedy, I still dread the day that she will be gone. She was the first person who ever really loved me and for so many years she has been the one I could always turn to for anything...

 

[Mom2all]

oxo... I love your taking the step in mending that. It makes me happy.

SingleDad.. You know I already love your Grandma stories. This one made me tear up a little.

 

[allenk]

Awesome!

 

[xox.ilu.xox]

Thanks Mom2All

I loved your story SingleDad...very touching

 

[IADad]

I just wanted to let all of you who shared stories know what good it has done others. It really helps those of us who had good childhoods and still have parents to understand a little bit, the wonderful gift we have everyday and serves as a reminder not to take it for granted. Each time you share, it expands your mom's legacy. That the memory of her makes a difference to others, and still keeps doing so.

It also serves as a reminder to us as parents, not to fail our children. When I think about getting mad at my boys I think abouthow it hurts when they don't understand. It's a fine line to walk sometimes, but benevolence is the lesson taken away.

Thanks.

 

[Mom2all]

I thought of another~

My Mom had a stroke a few years before she died. I had taken her to a hospital about an hour from here because it was better than our local one, but it also left me and Mom alone for the most part because of the travel time. After one of my trips home to shower and change I returned to find her in the shower alone. Mom couldn't walk or talk at the time, but had managed to crawl to the bathroom because she didn't want to be dirty. At first she was embarrassed that I forced her to let me in to help her wash. I washed her as she had me when I was little and brushed out her hair.

She felt weak and I was amazed at her strenth. To find her in such a weakened position, still determined to do something as shower herself made me proud of her in a way I'm sure she never knew. And I felt blessed to be able to her her a little, like she had helped me once apon a time.

oh.. to be able to wash her feet again~