So, just needed to vent a little about my mother in law.
Our kids are spending most of their daytime this summer with my mom. Money's a little tight and she wanted to spend more time with them so it seemed like a great fit, we provide some food each week and fill her car with gas for all the running to camp etc stuff she does and she gets some free labor watering and weeding gardens etc and gets to spend the time with them and I'm most happy that they will have this memory of their summer with her.
So, the problem is MIL. When we told her about the arrangement for this summer we made it well known that anytime she wants them we can certainly arrange that as well. MIL and FIL live 20 miles away, my mom lives 1/4 mi away, My mom is 82 and MIL/FIL are in their 70s, MIL still has an accounting practice in her home and FIL works a part time security gig. So, they aren't as available to spend a full day, but nonetheless the kids can go there if they want them, esp on friday's when FIL doesn't work.
So, the other day, my younger son was at an event with us and FIL/MIL and MIL accompanied him to a playground and helped him on the swings. Well, as she tells it, he spotted a weed and made an off-hand comment that "Looks like we need some "Roundup" here (FYI, for our members around the globe who may not be familiar "Roundup" is a common herbicide, sold for household use)
Well, Saturday, as we all gathered for my birthday, MIL gets DW aside and tells her about the playground and that she has concerns about her grandkids spending their summer in a dangerous environment. And that if it was a matter of money, she'd pay to have them watched by someone else...
Really? You B^%ch! First of all thank you for ruiningg my birthday party, it wasn't enough for you to pull a stunt like this on our wedding day, the fun must continue. How big of a leap is that, from my kid knowing about roundup and it's uses to assuming my mother is incapable of using it correctly or otherwise keeping my children safe. And to top it off, it's telling that she offered money (and all the hooks that come along with it, no doubt) rather than her time. I'm incredulous.
She's had a problem with every person who has had a caregiving role with the kids, every daycare provider, pre-school and even theri classroom teachers. So, I guess it shouldn't be a surprise anymore.
I'm trying to be the bigger person and just walk away from this, but I can't seem to let go. I find myself fantasizing about being at her funeral and spitting on her in her casket and while I know it doesn't help anything to be vindictive, I do somehow feel a perverse joy in the notion that she may die lonely and unloved.
I have put up with so much from her. I've always managed to write off each episode, to love her as a human being. We've never withheld the kids from them or spoken ill of her in their presence. But it just gets harder to do each time she repays your kindness with crap like this. I always try to remember that she has the right concern at heart, that she's just concerned about the kids, but her concerns always have to be at someone else's expense.
I hope I can move forward soon, because I really don't want to harbor ill feelings toward anyone. It doesn't solve anything and it just makes me feel bad.
Our kids are spending most of their daytime this summer with my mom. Money's a little tight and she wanted to spend more time with them so it seemed like a great fit, we provide some food each week and fill her car with gas for all the running to camp etc stuff she does and she gets some free labor watering and weeding gardens etc and gets to spend the time with them and I'm most happy that they will have this memory of their summer with her.
So, the problem is MIL. When we told her about the arrangement for this summer we made it well known that anytime she wants them we can certainly arrange that as well. MIL and FIL live 20 miles away, my mom lives 1/4 mi away, My mom is 82 and MIL/FIL are in their 70s, MIL still has an accounting practice in her home and FIL works a part time security gig. So, they aren't as available to spend a full day, but nonetheless the kids can go there if they want them, esp on friday's when FIL doesn't work.
So, the other day, my younger son was at an event with us and FIL/MIL and MIL accompanied him to a playground and helped him on the swings. Well, as she tells it, he spotted a weed and made an off-hand comment that "Looks like we need some "Roundup" here (FYI, for our members around the globe who may not be familiar "Roundup" is a common herbicide, sold for household use)
Well, Saturday, as we all gathered for my birthday, MIL gets DW aside and tells her about the playground and that she has concerns about her grandkids spending their summer in a dangerous environment. And that if it was a matter of money, she'd pay to have them watched by someone else...
Really? You B^%ch! First of all thank you for ruiningg my birthday party, it wasn't enough for you to pull a stunt like this on our wedding day, the fun must continue. How big of a leap is that, from my kid knowing about roundup and it's uses to assuming my mother is incapable of using it correctly or otherwise keeping my children safe. And to top it off, it's telling that she offered money (and all the hooks that come along with it, no doubt) rather than her time. I'm incredulous.
She's had a problem with every person who has had a caregiving role with the kids, every daycare provider, pre-school and even theri classroom teachers. So, I guess it shouldn't be a surprise anymore.
I'm trying to be the bigger person and just walk away from this, but I can't seem to let go. I find myself fantasizing about being at her funeral and spitting on her in her casket and while I know it doesn't help anything to be vindictive, I do somehow feel a perverse joy in the notion that she may die lonely and unloved.
I have put up with so much from her. I've always managed to write off each episode, to love her as a human being. We've never withheld the kids from them or spoken ill of her in their presence. But it just gets harder to do each time she repays your kindness with crap like this. I always try to remember that she has the right concern at heart, that she's just concerned about the kids, but her concerns always have to be at someone else's expense.
I hope I can move forward soon, because I really don't want to harbor ill feelings toward anyone. It doesn't solve anything and it just makes me feel bad.
