One day, my 2 1/2 yr old daughter decided it would be funny if she told me she didn't love me. She made an announcement to the whole (extended) family around the dinner table: "I don't love my daddy!!!" That was over a month ago, and she's still milking it. Every time I ask her "Do you love me now?" she says "no". Sometimes it's the first thing she says in the morning: "I still don't love you, daddy."
At first, it was cute. I could dismiss it. Laugh at it. I could tell myself "Of course she doesn't mean it. She's just trying to get a rise out of me. She's trying to be silly." And there was plenty of evidence that she does love me: she pounces on me for hugs, she asks me to read stories to her while she sits on my lap, she asks to be carried on my shoulders when we're out for a walk, she comes to me with open arms when she's hurt, she (sometimes) comes to tell me stories when I come home from work. The other day, she even gave me a kiss out of the blue.
But this constant "I don't love you" has been taking a toll on me and it's making me depressed. It's especially bad around father's day. I saw a commercial for a men's razor and the concept was that you want to look good for your daughter's school play because even though you're just one person among the crowd, they all fade into the background when your daughter is look for you like a beacon among the sea of faces. It actually made me depressed. I tought "Not <I>my</I> Cassidy". The other day, she was hugging grandma and grandma said "I love you" and she said "I love you too". Again, my heart sunk, and I became depressed for a little while.
I know this is irrational. I know she really loves me. But I need to vent. She has no idea how such words sound to a father. I told her once "You know when you say you don't love me? That makes me sad" to which she just said "hmm". Her mom even told her something along those lines: "Cassidy, that's not very nice to say." But she remains oblivious and innocently so. And she's very stubborn. Once she makes her mind up about something (like that she doesn't love me) she sticks to her guns. So I think the best thing to do is play this down, not hype it up into something bigger than it is. Hopefully, she'll eventually forget about it (or perhaps come to realize that it's hurtful and impolite, but that might take years).
Anyway, I'm not looking for advice or consultation. I can live with it. I just wanted to vent. Thanks for listening.
At first, it was cute. I could dismiss it. Laugh at it. I could tell myself "Of course she doesn't mean it. She's just trying to get a rise out of me. She's trying to be silly." And there was plenty of evidence that she does love me: she pounces on me for hugs, she asks me to read stories to her while she sits on my lap, she asks to be carried on my shoulders when we're out for a walk, she comes to me with open arms when she's hurt, she (sometimes) comes to tell me stories when I come home from work. The other day, she even gave me a kiss out of the blue.
But this constant "I don't love you" has been taking a toll on me and it's making me depressed. It's especially bad around father's day. I saw a commercial for a men's razor and the concept was that you want to look good for your daughter's school play because even though you're just one person among the crowd, they all fade into the background when your daughter is look for you like a beacon among the sea of faces. It actually made me depressed. I tought "Not <I>my</I> Cassidy". The other day, she was hugging grandma and grandma said "I love you" and she said "I love you too". Again, my heart sunk, and I became depressed for a little while.
I know this is irrational. I know she really loves me. But I need to vent. She has no idea how such words sound to a father. I told her once "You know when you say you don't love me? That makes me sad" to which she just said "hmm". Her mom even told her something along those lines: "Cassidy, that's not very nice to say." But she remains oblivious and innocently so. And she's very stubborn. Once she makes her mind up about something (like that she doesn't love me) she sticks to her guns. So I think the best thing to do is play this down, not hype it up into something bigger than it is. Hopefully, she'll eventually forget about it (or perhaps come to realize that it's hurtful and impolite, but that might take years).
Anyway, I'm not looking for advice or consultation. I can live with it. I just wanted to vent. Thanks for listening.
