I understand your position, and your sadness but I would like to point out what your daughter's point of view might be, as I had a similar experience.
My mother felt similarly as you did when I had my first daughter. I was 30 but she was insistent on being involved. I just wanted to be by myself and with my husband. She pushed it so far that I never told her where I was being delivered. She actually called a bunch of hospitals and eventually got through to my delivery room on the telephone while I was getting my epidural. I was beyond annoyed to put it mildly.
My point of not wanting to deal with my mother or anyone else on my delivery day was because a woman's delivery is about her and her baby, not her mother or anyone else. What your daughter needed to be comfortable and relaxed during delivery might have been to be alone with her husband.
This issue came between my mother and myself and during my second child's birth (about a month ago) I actually had my phone removed and told my mom in advance I was doing so. She was mad and hurt about it, but I felt like I needed to do that because she completely ignored my wishes the first time around and I couldn't trust her. I called her and my other relatives on my own terms the next day after I was rested. On another note, I was seperated from my husband during the birth of my 2nd child. I opted to have my best friend help me deliver (though the baby's father was present to watch). I can't imagine having my mother present for delivery...but everyone is different.
I hope you won't be too hurt by your daughter's decision. She's trying to define herself as an adult, a wife, and a new mother. Good luck
