MySpace - what are your thoughts?...

[kjcandles]

Do you have teenagers who use MySpace? What are your thoughts on this? Do you monitor at all? I do not let my girls use this, as far as I know they are not! Our one computer in the home is in the living room where everyone usually hangs out.

I was just looking at some feedback on this as I was thinking of using it myself for my candle business, but it seems wrong if I don't allow my girls to use it. They are 14 & 16.

 

[jtee]

kjcandled, you should consider watching this PBS Frontline show. They talk about My Space.

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/kidsonline/

 

[musicmom]

I would have access to it and I would set the controls. It's still very unsafe.

 

[Teresa]

You're an adult, and if you choose to use it for your business, that's totally different that teenagers using it for socializing. You are older, and most likely more mature and responsible, and more aware of the dangers. My three have/have had MySpace and Facebook accounts....I have their passwords, I am one of their friends, and until they turn 18 I have the right to delete anything I deem inappropriate, or to delete the account entirely if they get in trouble more than twice.

 

[musicmom]

Then only problem I can see (my best friend just went through this) she disagreed what he had on his page so he went behind her back and made a new account with a different picture and continues to get nasty things from girls (he's 17) She figured he would go to a friends house and do that. He did.

 

[jenilouise]

No MySpace for us. I had one and I cancelled my account to be fair. They don't get to have one and I don't have one.

 

[kjcandles]

I appreciate everyone's comments.

 

[Aunt]

My niece has both but I prefer facebook as it is a "nicer" neighbourhood so to speak. I would definitely make the child put all setings to private. Someone alos made the suggestion to me to take a look at your kids friends. I have done this and will continue to do this every so often. To me an outright ban makes it more tempting.
To be honest it seems my space is going out of vogue with the kids.

 

[unmanaged]

Myspace is not nearly as popular as it used to be, first of all. But right now I have something much more important to say. Most parents don't seem to understand that their children are PEOPLE. PEOPLE who are usually pretty ok. If you don't trust your children until they're 18 they will go into the world confused and iresponsible. Tell them to be careful, and to set their options to private, but don't ban it. You have a human being on your hands, you can't just control every inch of their lives.

 

[jtee]

If you don't trust your children until they're 18 they will go into the world confused and iresponsible.

This is a good point. If you over protect a child, then they struggle later in life learning lessons most people learn years earlier. Or, as often is the case, they over indulge in their 20s because mom and dad said "NO!" to everything during the teen years.

 

[ntbuddy]

We have no problem with either child on it. They do know that everything on their computer (they have one away from ours) and is monitored 24/7. We keep them off of ours as we don't monitor ours. The monitor software is easily attainable for about $70 and can email one or both parents of the activities they do. Our main stay is they always stay off the adult sites.

John

 

[unmanaged]

No offense, but isn't that kind of horrible? These are real people, with feelings, thoughts, and a need for privacy. You think it's fair to monitor their communications? Do you have things you don't want your children to know? Thought so. Don't say it's different, because honestly, your children aren't playtoys they probably have just as many things to say that they don't want you to hear as you don't want them to hear; especially with teenagers, who might be talking about something personal their not ready to share with you. I would beg of all of you not to monitor your children, it is basic human rights, peoples.

 

[jtee]

No offense, but isn't that kind of horrible?

What is Horrible?

 

[ntbuddy]

Our children both know that their computer is monitored. Is it best to just let them do what they want? The objective of a parent as far as I know is that the parent is to guide and mold them to be the best they can be. Letting them navigate the Internet without supervision is just plain dumb (IMHO).

Do you think they should be unmonitored? If you think we should sit with them I hate to tell you but sometimes they may be on when you're not around, at home, etc. and then what do you do?

 

[unmanaged]

(in my earlier post I was talking about monitoring your children's computers, sorry if that wasn't clear)

In response to ntbuddy:

Forgive me, I may have been a little hasty (this is just a topic I feel kind of strongly about) I do not think you should sit with them. I would say that they should go unmonitored. I just casually talk to my kids about what they did that day, and if you have a GOOD reason to be suspicous, then go ahead and check. If your children truly understand that going to adult sites isn't good, they won't. On the other hand if you are having problems, (instead of monitoring the sites they've been to) just block the sites that you are worried about. The problem is, the internet is becoming part of daily life, so we need to equip the next generation with the tools they need to use it.

 

[jenilouise]

As my kids are not at the MySpace age yet it's not too big of an issue but if I had kept mine then it woulfd be in the internet history and such and may pique their interest. I do feel the internet in general is not safe for children so yes I am a little over protective in that area. My mom was as well and my brothers are just fine.

 

[Aunt]

I think Jen this is the other issue. What is age appropriate? I would be surprised if a 9 yr old wanted a face book page & a bit alarmed. But by 11 or 12 all the kids want to be a part of whatever is cool or fashionable

 

[ntbuddy]

It may be part of the "Internet history" that we can check but the kids actually today already know how to clear their tracks if they so want to. One can hide and do everything they do. There are some sites they can go to that will allow them to reach sites that you've set to as not allowed. You can even get the system to block anything beyond G rated (RSAC ratings). The problem is kids today also know of ways to get around this.

 

[Teresa]

Myspace is not nearly as popular as it used to be, first of all. But right now I have something much more important to say. Most parents don't seem to understand that their children are PEOPLE. PEOPLE who are usually pretty ok. If you don't trust your children until they're 18 they will go into the world confused and iresponsible. Tell them to be careful, and to set their options to private, but don't ban it. You have a human being on your hands, you can't just control every inch of their lives.

As I always tell my children....it's not that I don't trust THEM, it's that I don't trust OTHER people. It's my job to do all I can to protect them from the wackos out there, whether they are 8, 18 or 80....because I'm their MOTHER.

 

[ntbuddy]

(in my earlier post I was talking about monitoring your children's computers, sorry if that wasn't clear)

In response to ntbuddy:

Forgive me, I may have been a little hasty (this is just a topic I feel kind of strongly about) I do not think you should sit with them. I would say that they should go unmonitored. I just casually talk to my kids about what they did that day, and if you have a GOOD reason to be suspicous, then go ahead and check. If your children truly understand that going to adult sites isn't good, they won't. On the other hand if you are having problems, (instead of monitoring the sites they've been to) just block the sites that you are worried about. The problem is, the internet is becoming part of daily life, so we need to equip the next generation with the tools they need to use it.

No offense is ever taken. I'm in the computer business so maybe why I'm more apt to watch. I've run an entire IT department alone for 400 users. We had on average 20-30 people using MySpace, adult sites, etc. that weren't business related and also very inappropriate for business. I feel in giving the kids free reign and do talk to them about what they did daily. The key is they will eventually stray and it's best to nip it in the bud before a potential problem becomes worse.