Need Advice...

[StormySkiez]

My mother in law is raising my husbands two 16 year olds (twins) temporarly. I have an issue with things that go on in the home.

Newest issue is she is letting the sons 17 yr old friend sleep over 4 days in a row on the living room couch at first and today I found out they slept together in his room in a full size bed where he is allowed to keep the door shut all the time. The boys are both special needs teens.

Is this step mom going crazy thinking this is wrong?

 

[bobspock100]

considering the age of these kids, if they are going to do something, isn't it better to do it in the safety of home, and in front of parents, rather than do it elsewhere with potential problems, and hiding it behind moms back. we all know they will not cancel doing things just because someone tells them to.

 

[StormySkiez]

Wow, I am shocked. That is like saying do what ever you like, as long as you are safe doing it in the home.

 

[bobspock100]

no, its just that teenagers are gong to do certain things in life, and no power on earth will ever stop it from happening. therefor the intelligent thing to do is allow them to trust you and do whatever it is, with your knowledge instead of having to sneak behind your back.

 

[StormySkiez]

No disrespect bob, do you understand what parental guidance is?

 

[bobspock100]

I understand parental guidance very well. but there is a difference between what you can control and/or influence, and those few things that you can not. one thing is very obvious in life, that is that older teens are going to do sex in some form or another, either with parental knowledge or without. there is no way they will stop doing it simply because someone tells them to. the most frustrating situation along that line is the parent who discovers that there kid is gay. do you think for one minute that the kid will stop being gay because his mom/dad tell him to? sometimes in life you have to realize that certain things just "are" whether we like it or not.

 

[Wickett]

Ignore bobspock, we're pretty sure we've foiled his trolling days and are waiting for him to plead his case, which I'm starting to think isn't going to happen.

I agree with you that this is not okay. Parental guidance comes into play. What they are doing isn't necessarily wrong, but it isn't the best idea either as it can lead to trouble.

 

[akmom]

Well I know teen girls have sleep-overs all the time. I did. I'm not sure if teen boys normally do the same. My husband didn't have sleep-overs as a teen, but I think that was more because his parents didn't allow a lot of privileges in the first place. I mean, we girls shared a bed if there was room, and slept on the floor of the same room when there wasn't. Unless that's unusual for boys, I guess I wonder why there are assumptions of inappropriate conduct?

 

[cybele]

The only thing I can see that might be not quite right is if the parents of the friend don't know about his whereabouts or if your in laws didn't want the friend there yet he kept staying.

But hey, if all adults involved are fine and dandy, boys can certainly have friends sleepover too. My son has friends over often and he has a double bed so one always sleeps there, once they managed to fit four in there, covered in popcorn for goodness knows what reason, not sure how on earth they slept, but they managed to.

 

[TabascoNatalie]

I think we need more info here. Is that friend male or female? What sort of special needs? Is the friend special needs as well?
If that friend stays 4 nights in a row, what about his/her family? Are they ok? Maybe the situation at home is not very good?